10.31.21 - Joy status: Halloween on FB

Halloween is one of the best days on Facebook. I love all your costume and decor pics!

10.29.21 - Joy status: broccoli cheddar soup

I was having a frustrating day because Clara woke up sick and things hobbled along from there. BUT. Merlene (my MIL) watched the girls so I didn't have to reschedule an important work call, and when I finished the call I came down to the kitchen to find she had also made broccoli cheddar soup! And it's all rainy and gloomy outside so it's a perfect soup day!

10.29.21 - Kid snippets: sometimes Jane kicks and bites

Clara: Jane do you want help cleaning the living room or do you want to do it by yourself?
Jane: Oh! You can help me.
Clara: Yeah do you know why I want to help you? Because you are my best sister ever!
Jane: Yeah. But sometimes I kick you and bite you.

10.23.21 - Joy status: David from Schitt's Creek

GIFs of David from Schitt's Creek

10.23.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin's plate is empty

Calvin thinks he should be able to leave the table as soon as his plate is empty, even if it's only empty because he took all the food off of it and put it on the table.

10.22.21 - Kid snippets: Clara will live to 162

Clara (6yo): When am I going to be grown up?
Monica: Well you're legally an adult when you're 18 years old, although you'll still have more things to learn after that.
Clara: Nooooo. I'm going to grow up when I'm 162 years!!
Monica: Okay.
Clara: And I'm very smart, I know everything.
Monica: Okay.

10.20.21 - Kid snippets: Jane wants to be called "Maybe"

I recently introduced Jane to "Call Me Maybe," and she *loves* it. She keeps requesting that we listen to her "girl song." We've listened to it a lot this week and we were dancing to it tonight. Now she's requesting I no longer call her "Jane" and instead refer to her as "Maybe."

10.18.21 - Kid snippets: Ruby's learning book

Ruby isn't due until next April, but Clara is already creating a "learning book" of shapes and numbers and ABCs for her.

10.17.21 - Kid snippets: Jane's fresh breath

Every night after Jane brushes her teeth she wants to breathe in my face so I can see that her breath smells nice.

10.17.21 - Joy status: leisurely Sunday morning

Leisurely Sunday morning. With Jack and I both working full-time now, I'm normally running around trying to get done as much as possible even on the weekends. But today Jack is working, my in-laws are out of town, Clara is at my mom's house because she spent the night last night, and so the only people in the house are Jane, Calvin, and me. It's giving me the opportunity to pay a little bit more focused attention on them than I usually can.

We made chocolate chip pancakes. Jane helped a lot with pouring milk and cracking eggs and even putting some of the chocolate chips in. We ate them as we made them. It made the whole house smell wonderful and feel very cozy especially since it's nice and chilly outside (woooooo fall!) We listened to the entire Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack followed by the soundtrack to Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin.

Then Jane and I played a Thomas the tank engine memory game. We started with just 4 pairs of cards but slowly expanded until we were using 12. She's getting pretty good at it. After 5 or 6 rounds of that, she wanted to play Connect Four. I tried to teach her the real way but eventually let her and Calvin play their own version that involves racing to put as many pieces in as possible. They really enjoyed it.

Now I'm reclining on the couch brainstorming Christmas wish list ideas for the kids (at my mom's request because she gets started ridiculously early) and the kids are each doing their own thing in the living room peacefully. So nice to take a morning off and just hang out with them.

10.11.21 - Joy status: autumn day

Today was such an autumn day. 

Woke up to thunderstorms which the kids watched eagerly when they were supposed to be getting ready for the day. As I drove Jane and Calvin to in-home daycare, Jane (4yo) kept wistfully remarking at how beautiful the sky was with dark blue mixed with sunrise gold. She said "oh! It's such a lovely day!" It rained on and off all day and I loved it. Currently I am working out of an extra room at my mom's house, and when I got there this morning she had put up all of her fall decor on her front porch and in her living room and it was incredibly cozy. I had autumn squash soup for lunch. And then this evening I went on a long walk through a park by a lake with my sister-in-law and it was very breezy and cool and there were leaves of all kinds of colors covering the path the whole way. It was beautiful.

10.10.21 - Joy status: Calvin and Hobbes thrifted

I got all of these today for a total of $2.50! (Once Upon a Child) I think I'm going to make them Christmas gifts. My kids are still a little young but Clara is getting old enough she could practice reading with them.

10.8.21 - Kid snippets: when to take out the ice

My kids and their cousins are sitting down to dinner together.

Me: Clara don't stick your hand in your drink.
Clara: I just want to get the ice.
Me: No that's not how you do it.
Josiah (cousin, 4yo): You drink all the water, THEN you take out the ice.

10.7.21 - Kid snippets: dancing to Can't Help Falling In Love

Tonight I tried to show the kids the second half of Labyrinth but for the most part they wouldn't stop doing other things, whining about stupid crap, and interrupting the movie. It was not what I'd hoped for.

But when it was over, Jane asked me if we could dance to lovely songs. So I put on the Elvis Presley version of "Can't Help Falling in Love" and the whole family danced to it three times. During one iteration, I held Calvin in my arms and danced with him while Jack did the same with Clara, and Jane twirled in her pretty dress between us all. It was pretty fantastic.

I think feeling that range of irritation to joy in the span of barely an hour is quintessential parenting.

10.4.21 - Kid snippets: What Calvin is thankful for

I asked the kids what they're thankful for.

Clara: I'm thankful for [lists every family member]
Jane: I'm thankful for every single day of the month, and I'm thankful for [also lists every family member].
Calvin: I tankful...boo, geen, yewwow, red, puhple

10.3.21 - Kid snippets: I have NEVER heard that before

I'm baking a pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting for Jack's birthday.

Clara: "pumpkin cake"? I thought it was pumpkin pie!
Me: No, it's a cake.
Clara: That doesn't make any sense!
Me: Why not?
Clara: Because "pumpkin cake" aren't real words. It's pumpkin pie.
Me: You can have a lot of pumpkin things. You can have pumpkin ice cream, or pumpkin cake, or pumpkin cupcakes, or pumpkin pie. Lots of things can have pumpkin.
Clara (6 yo): I have NEVER heard that before.

10.2.21 - Kid snippets: Jane spends the night at Jama's

Tonight is Jane's (my 4 yo's) first time spending the night by herself at Jama's house. I asked her a couple times throughout the week if she wanted to do it and she always said yes. We packed a tiny little backpack with her overnight stuff and when we got to the house she wanted to wear it for the very brief walk from our car to the front door. Then she kept the backpack on in the house and made sure that everyone saw that she had her backpack for spending the night.

We all stayed for dinner. When it was time for me to take the other two kids home I thought maybe Jane would be nervous. She definitely was not. She was happy for us to leave haha. She gave everyone a big hug and enthusiastically told us goodbye. Then, even though it was only about 7:00, she told Jama she was going to go put on her pajamas and brush her teeth to be ready to spend the night.

I'm very happy we live here so that my kids can have this one-on-one time with their grandparents and my shy girl in particular can get some undivided attention.

10.2.21 - Joy status: begin the last quarter of the year

The last and best quarter of the year is off to a good start. I put up a few Halloween decorations in the kids' room before they came home yesterday, and they were so excited! They decided to wear their Halloween t-shirts for pajamas and fell asleep to twinkling pumpkin lights. Also this morning there is rain on the ground and it smells like pancakes in the house. So cozy!

9.22.21 - Kid snippets: Clara knows a joke

Clara: I know a joke!
Me: If it's about poop I don't want to hear it
Clara: Nooo! It's not about poop.
Me: Okay
Clara: I know how to spell "mouse." It's M-O-U-S. Now say "What's the last letter?"
Me: What's the last letter?
Clara: A tail!! That's a joke!!

(It's supposed to be "What's at the end?")

9.21.21 - Joy status: overcast and chilly, and Once Upon a Child

 It's overcast and chilly today.

This evening I went to Once upon a Child and got one new Halloween shirt for each kid. They were really excited when I showed them at home and wanted to try them on immediately. Calvin was so pumped when I put his on that he ran around the living room a couple times. Then we put on songs from Nightmare Before Christmas so they could dance.

In general I really love the last quarter of the year with all of the best holidays, and in particular I have enjoyed it more since having children and getting them excited with themed clothes and books and making decorations together and all of the anticipation of each event. It is so much fun!

9.15.21 - Joy status: Hank Green TikTok

This video! I love Hank Green (guy on right) and dude on the left adds a lot.

9.12.21 - Kid snippets: Clara already knows everything

The first week of school was complete and Clara still had to go back the following Monday.

Clara: How long do I have to keep doing this?
Me: Oh a long long time. All of your childhood and most of the time you are a teenager too. Get used to it because it's going to be many years.
Clara: But why do I have to go to school so much?
Me: Well there are a whole lot of things you'll learn that will help you get ready to be a grown up.
Clara: I already know what I need to know! I know math and ABCs and can read!
Me: There is actually going to be even more than that.

In other news today Jane used my mom's set of play dishes and tiny little table and chairs to make a pretend dinner for Clara and me. She even used all of her strength to pull a full size chair over for me since I can't sit in the children's chairs. Then she let us know that her and my empty plates were filled with gluten food and Clara's had gluten-free food. Then she happily poured us what she told us was coffee and we all pretended to eat together and she was thrilled.

And finally, just in the last week Calvin has started actually giving me kisses upon request instead of gleefully shouting no and running away.

9.11.21 - Kid snippets: Ya wah-come

Calvin: Mah-eee, look!
Me: Oh you stacked the puzzle pieces in a tower. That's cool!
Calvin, very proud: Ya wah-come!

9.6.21 - Kid snippets: Clara gives trees air

I was driving the kids on the highway.

Clara: Why do we have to have so many trees?
Me: Well we breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, but trees breathe in carbon dioxide and out oxygen, so it's like we're trading.
Clara: So it's the opposite!
Me: Yes.
Clara: Are the trees breathing right now?
Me: Yes. Anytime the leaves are green they're breathing.
Clara: I'm going to breathe on them to give them more air. *breathes heavily on the closed car window*

8.28.21 - Kid snippets: Billiong or 100

Clara was describing her school to me.

Clara: Do you know how many kids are in the lunchroom?
Me: How many?
Clara: A BILLION kids!
Me: A billion, wow
Clara: Well maybe like 100

And randomly, Jane: When my mouth is talking, I get tired.

8.20.21 - Clara's kindergarten orientation

 Clara is beside herself to start school. A few weeks ago--when it seemed clear they really are going to have school in person--I went ahead and told Clara her first day is August 23. She wrote "SCHOOL" on that date on her calendar and has been eagerly anticipating it since. 

On Sunday Jack and I took the kids to the school so Clara could see the outside of the building and the playground. They all played there for awhile. 

Clara asked if I could show her the inside and the "other children" and I told her that would have to wait, but I did show her a Facebook picture of her teacher and she was excited about that too. That night as I was putting the kids to bed, I told Clara we got her a new dress for the first day, and she excitedly kicked her feet back and forth and squealed "I can't wait for SCHOOOL!" I also let her know that this Friday would be her chance to see the inside of the classroom and meet her teacher and the other kids.

In anticipation of kindergarten orientation this morning, yesterday Clara drew a picture of a "school tree" (apparently a Christmas tree?) which I said she could bring with her. As we were getting ready to leave the house, she was literally dancing and leaping about saying she couldn't wait to see the inside of school. 

And once we got there, I was buoyed by not only her excitedment and delight but also my own nostalgica for when I was in grade school. She was thrilled to enter the school, to see a desk with her name on it, to meet the teacher and tell her favorite color, and to talk to other kids. It was great.

The school is pretty cute, well put together, bright and clean. The kindergarten classroom was sunny and colorful. I suspect academically there won't be much for Clara to do, as she already knows the alphabet and really basic arithmetic and is starting to sight read. But Jack and I figure if she's too far ahead we can see about skipping her a grade later, after she's already gotten used to a school routine.

At some point the cafeteria manager sought out Jack and me specifically to discuss possibilities for making sure Clara has GF lunch, which was very sweet/encouraging. Sounds like it might be doable for her to get lunch there. They also gifted us a new backpack and we do have to pick up some more supplies for Clara's art and technology classes, as well as a $5 party fund. I plan to join the PTO (just as a follower) to help support events like back-to-school picnic and monster bash (wonder what that is!) and I hope they make a kind of big deal out of holidays, because that was a favorite for me as a kid in elementary school. 

I'm glad we're in Missouri where they are prepared to make sure in person school continues if at all possible. It's a huge relief to see Clara finally get to go back.

8.20.21 - Joy status: Clara prepares for kindergarten

Clara is beside herself with excitement to go to her first day of school. This morning was kindergarten orientation, and she was literally dancing around before we got in the car. She was thrilled to go inside the school, see her classroom, meet her teacher, and meet some of the other children. She said she can't wait for "real school" on Monday. I am relieved and delighted that she's finally getting to go.

8.11.21 - Joy status: Panera coffee deal & Merlene's piano

Panera has unlimited coffee for like $9/month. I go to coffee shops to work very often. I used to go to Starbucks, which is like $5/visit, so the Panera deal is saving me a small fortune.

My mother-in-law plays the piano really beautifully.

8.4.21 - Maybe kids should put me to bed

I'm tired.

Me: Maybe you guys should put me to bed and then you can stay up while I go to sleep and you can clean the kitchen.
Clara: Great idea!

8.3.21 - Kid snippets: Mommy no do that!

Calvin is sitting in my lap coloring scrap paper at the table and repeatedly saying "Mommy no do that!" as I sit here doing literally nothing.

7.31.21 - Joy status: trains and compliments

Riding the train at the St. Louis Zoo.

When I compliment a woman's clothing and she tells me she got it for $5 at a thrift store.

7.28.21 - Kid snippets: Thanks because you love me

Just now when I gave Clara a kiss goodnight, she wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear "Thanks, Mom."

I pulled back to look at her.

Me: Thanks for what?
Clara, with a very serious face: Because you love me.
Me: *dies*
(Jk jk)
Me: I *do* love you!
I give her another kiss.
She smiles.

Fin.

7.26.21 - Kid snippets: napkin on my head

My in-laws use bandanas as cloth napkins. Today for the first time in forever I was wearing a bandana. As I was about to leave the house Clara shouted "WAIT! ... You've got to take that napkin off."

7.25.21 - Kid snippets: Where's my freaking pillow?

This afternoon when Jack picked us up from the airport, the girls and Calvin were delighted to see each other. Calvin just kept looking at them and giggling, which they returned in kind.

Also, tonight Jane realized her pillow wasn't at the head of her bed where it usually is.

Jane: What?? Mom! Where's my freaking pillow?
Me, already laughing: What did you say?
Jane, calmly: Where's my freaking pillow?

7.21.21 - Joy status: Finished genetics

I finally finished the genetics course that's been annoying me the last few months! I thought the final went well, we'll see. Then I had a wonderful time with Aaron at dinner. Awesome day.

7.19.21 - Joy status: faster playback speeds

Being able to listen to audiobooks or watch videos at faster playback speeds.

7.18.21 - Kid snippets: I'll tell you when we get home

We were driving somewhere, and while in the car Clara was reading a book about everything a kid will do when he grows up.

Clara: Just like me! I will do more things when I grow up!
Me: What will you do when you grow up?
Clara: More things!
Me: Like what?
Clara: *pause* I...um...I'll tell you when we go back to the house.

7.16.21 - Joy status: hummingbirds and cardinals

The backyard often has hummingbirds and cardinals flitting around.

7.12.21 - Kid snippets: Calvinisms

These are some current Calvin translations:

"Up!" = Either "pick me up" or "put me down" depending on context
"How?" = Why?
"See me, Mama!" = Mom, watch what I'm going to do!

7.10.21 - Joy status: RAIN

Absolutely loving all the rain we're getting. It's rained more in the month we've been here than probably the last 18 months in California. Looooving it.

7.9.21 - Kid snippets: Spiderman > Jesus

Julie sent me this conversation she overheard yesterday between my nephew and Clara.

Malcolm pretends to electrocute random objects with a creation he built.
Me: I guess you're Zeus. Or maybe Thor. Thor is my favorite.
Malcolm: Hulk favorite!
Clara: Jesus is my favorite because he loves me!
Malcolm: Yeah, Jesus cares about us.
Clara: actually... Jesus is not my favorite. Spiderman is.
Me: You can like both.
Clara: No, I don't like Jesus now, I like Spiderman.

7.7.21 - Joy status: full size washer, less carpeting

A full sized washer and dryer, and a place for my kids to eat their meals that isn't over carpeting! Details that make domestic life a little bit easier.

7.7.21 - Kid snippets: Is there someone in the dentist?

For some reason, Jane refers to the basement as the "dentist," so she was getting pretty annoyed with me when it took me a long time to understand what she meant by "Is there someone in the dentist?" (Also, no, there's no one in the dentist.)

7.1.21 - Kid snippets: Mom doesn't know about space

From the other morning while I was driving the kids to daycare:

Clara: Why do we live on Earth and not one of the other planets?
Me: Earth is the only one with oxygen. We wouldn't be able to breathe on the other planets.
Clara: But there is some oxygen in space.
Me: No, when we go in space we can breathe if we are on a spaceship or if we have an astronaut suit that keeps the oxygen in. But there isn't oxygen just in space by itself.
Clara: But some galaxies have oxygen.
Me: No, not to breathe. Not that we know of.
Clara, getting annoyed: Mom! You need to just say "I don't know about space!"

6.29.21 - Joy status: trading child care with Julie

My sister Julie and I have started trading watching each other's kids once a week. This would already be a nice setup on a practical level because we each get a child free day every other week at no cost. But when I dropped my kids off this morning Julie also talked about how excited she is to have a house full of chaos and children.

6.23.21 - Joy status: suburban privacy

Our bedroom windows no longer face directly into someone else's living room windows a few dozen feet away. Right now we are on a second floor that faces the space in between two other houses that are across a street. Hurray for suburban privacy!

6.21.21 - Joy status: Calvin's bedtime routine

The main lullaby I sing the kids is "Baby Mine" from Dumbo, so sometimes Calvin asks me to sing "A E Mine." Recently he has started singing it along with me in that sweet toddler voice of his with a big grin on his face. Last time when the lullaby was done I said "good night, I love you" and he laughingly said "gah night!" as if it was some great inside joke of ours

6.15.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin doesn't come down the stairs

I'm trying to teach the kids that when I say "come here" they need to answer "Coming!" Calvin has picked up on it surprisingly fast.

Just now he was sitting at the top of the stairs to the second floor, and from the first floor Clara called and asked him to come see her. He immediately shouted "COMING! Cwawa! Coming Cwawa!" And then he just sat there.

Me: Buddy, you can't just answer "coming." You also have to actually go see her.
Calvin: Mama! I Cwawa coming!
Me: I know, bud! Now go down the stairs.
Clara: Callllvinnn! Come see meeeee!
Calvin, earnestly: Coming! I coming!! *proceeds to just sit at the top of the stairs*

This cycle repeated at least 10 times (with me laughing more each time) before he finally went downstairs.

6.15.21 - Joy status: stomp away

We no longer have anyone living below us, so I no longer have to keep telling my kids to stop jumping or stomping.

6.12.21 - Joy status: Friends to help us move

We are almost done loading the truck and we are almost ready to depart for Missouri and we wouldn't have been as ready as we are now if it wasn't for a whole lot of help from our dear friends. People have helped pack over the last week or two, and then today load the truck itself, grab food and water for everyone, keep the kids busy, pack (tons of) last minute things, dismantle and move heavy furniture, make donation runs, scrub walls, and basically anything else I could think of to ask. Thank you, thank you! We have so many good friends.

6.3.21 - Joy status: Clara can't wait to move to MO

Clara is *so* excited about moving to Missouri. She's bugging me all morning about how we need to pack. I told her I'd get dressed and then we'd start, and she ran to start choosing boxes to tape.

5.31.21 - Kid snippets: Clara can lift two milk

We are listening to the soundtrack to The Princess and the Frog and there's a part where they say something about someone being beautiful.

Jane: Mom, just like I'm beautiful!
Me: Yes, you are beautiful. And you're also smart!
Clara: So am I. I'm smart.
Me: Yes you are. You guys are smart. And you know what else? You are hard workers!
Clara: Yeah just like we are smart but also strong!
Me: Yes, and you work hard. Even when things don't work right the very first time, you keep trying.
Clara: So strong you can lift milk!
Me: Okay, but-
Clara: Maybe even TWO milk!
Me: Okay.

5.28.21 - Kid snippets: Clara explains where babies come from

Clara explains pregnancy to Jane.

Clara: Jane, the baby stays in mommy's tummy and then in a few weeks it comes out of her vagina and then they cut the vine.
Jane: Hm. Yeah.

I think for their age that's pretty close.

5.24.21 - Kid snippets: Look, here's the deal

When Clara wants to explain something complicated, she starts with "Look, here's the deal."

My dad says that all the time, but Clara is hardly ever around him. I didn't think I said it much if ever, but idk where else she'd get it.

5.22.21 - Joy status: Jack's nursing job

**Jack has a nursing job.**

Since last September he's applied to perhaps 40-50 positions in California with no response (aside from an occasional generic "position is filled"). He started applying in Missouri about 5-6 weeks ago and on Thursday one of the main hospital networks in the area (SSM) offered him a position! It's in their new grad onboarding program on the medical-surgical unit, which is great because the position (a) involves plenty of training and (b) is more generalized experience, both good for someone starting out. He starts three days after we unload the moving truck!

5.17.21 - Joy status: Girls get to socialize with neighbors

Tonight Clara heard other kids playing outside in the apartment complex and asked if we could go outside. So we grabbed Jane's new giant bottle of bubble mix (from her birthday) and went to see what was going on. Clara is absolutely fearless when it comes to playing with other kids and immediately ran up to a group of girls and asked if she could play with them. They were happy to oblige, especially since Clara and Jane came with bubble mix.

All five girls played with the bubbles for quite some time and then started running around the complex playing tag and hide and seek and shrieking in delight. My kids don't play with other kids often enough so it was wonderful to watch. I got the sense the other girls felt the same way. It also makes me look forward to when we get to Missouri and they get to hang out with their cousins on a regular basis and have a social life.

5.15.21 - Kid snippets: Clara is a good sister

Jane and Clara are frosting cookies together.

Jane: Clara, you're a good sister.
Clara: Yep!

5.14.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin laughing at things

I was playing a game with Calvin and asking him where all his different body parts were, but the only part he wanted to name was his butt. He laughed every time he said it.

On another note, every night at bedtime I tell him to lay down. He gets comfortable on his pillow and then giggles maniacally as I spread his blanket over him.

5.2.21 - Kid snippets: Hey Clara, I love you

Me: Hey Clara.

Clara looks at me.
Me: I love you.
Clara: Awwwwww

5.1.21 - Kid snippets: Are you happy to have have kids and babies?

I'm showing Clara the video tour I took of mine and Jack's first apartment, shortly after we moved in together. There's a part where I zoomed in on the books we had on our bookshelf.

Clara: There are no kids books?
Me: Well we didn't have kids yet, so we didn't have kids books.
Clara: Were you so sad? Were you sad there were no kids and babies?
Me: Well we weren't sad. We knew we might have babies someday.
Clara: And now are you happy? Because you have kids and babies?
Me: **Yes** I am SO happy to have you guys here. I *love* having you guys here!
Clara jumps up and down in approval.

4.9.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin needs his eyes dried

When I wash the kids' hair, I tell them to look at the ceiling so the water runs down the back of their heads. Clara is good at it. Jane is mostly good at it but not always. If she looks down and gets water in her face, she asks for a towel. I hand her a towel and she dabs the water out of her eyes and she is fine.

Calvin has witnessed this so many times now, that whenever I pour water down the back of Jane's head, Calvin urgently requests that I dab his face with the towel. This seems to genuinely comfort him even though no water has touched his head.

5.5.21 - Kid snippets: Jane and Sarah are introverts together

This one is actually from January, but I don't want to forget it. I didn't witness this; Sarah relayed it to me.

We hosted a hot chocolate potluck and had half a dozen guests. Three-year-old Jane (an introvert) approached Sarah (also an introvert).

Jane: Do you want to sit on the couch with me?
Sarah: Sure.
They sit. (The couch is across the room from where most people were hanging out.)
Jane: There are a lot of people in my house.
Sarah: Yeah there are.
They sit a moment.
Jane: Do you want to do a puzzle with me?
Sarah: Sure!
Then they did a puzzle together away from the crowd.

4.4.21 - Joy status: Living room to myself

Easter wore my family out, apparently, because everyone--even Jack--was in bed by 7:30 pm. You know what that means? That means I have *multiple* hours of *quiet,* **alone** time in *my own living room.* Happy Easter to me!

4.3.21 - Kid snippets

Clara tells me when she grows up, she'll have her own big house with four children named Joe, Ryan, Leia, and Reya. And **no grown ups**. I asked her if she'll have a husband, and she reiterated there will be **no other grown ups**. Just her and her children.

Also she will dye as many Easter eggs as she wants.

3.28.21 - kid snippets: Clara the extrovert at the playground

We took the kids to the playground first thing today. Clara chose her own outfit and was hoping there would be other kids at the playground who could admire it. But we got here kind of early and at first it looked like no one else was here.

Then Clara realized there was one other girl, probably a couple years older, on the other side of the playground. So, in extreme extroverted fashion, Clara runs to the edge of the playground, stops, and yells "HI!"

The girl looks a little bit uncertain and starts walking toward her parents. Clara starts chasing her shouting "MY NAME IS CLARA AND I AM 6 YEARS OLD DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?" (I cannot even write the status without laughing.)

Fortunately the girl was good humored and joined Clara on the swings. I'm hoping Clara's extroverted tendencies will keep mitigating some of her social quirks.

3.27.21 - Joy status: roku and echo dot

We bought a Roku, which works with our Echo Dot, which means I can now control the kids' Youtube videos via voice commands, and I **love it**. 

3.27.21 - Kid snippets: kids pretending to be puppies

About once a day, Jane lies on the ground, covers herself with a blanket, and asks me to "open the present." When I remove the blanket, she pops up saying "woof woof woof!" I say "Are you a puppy??" and she nods vigorously and sticks her tongue in and out. She's been doing this for weeks, maybe months.

This morning Calvin came up to me covered in his blanket yelling "Mama!" When I took the blanket off, he uncertainly stuck his tongue out and grinned. I said "Oh! Are you a puppy?" and he yelled "Yeah!" Then he crawled around a bit and repeated the process. As a big bonus, my still-not-speaking little guy announced "I-uh pup-puh!" I'm pretty sure this is his first attempt at a sentence.

3.26.21 - Joy status: Clara and Hunter video chat

Clara's best friend, Hunter (who tragically moved to the midwest last year) sometimes "calls" her via video chat. She uses my old phone (it doesn't have service but it can use wifi) and he calls her through her FB profile, which means they can chat independent of what Jack and I are doing. They mostly play with different filters and pretend to be pickles or something. It's adorable, and it makes Clara sooo happy.

3.26.21 - Kid snippets: stolen kid's book

Jane cannot find her book "If You Give a Pig a Pancake," so she has accused me of sneaking it away to my work.

3.23.21 - Kid snippets: Clara's subtle plotting

Tonight I came home from work with a bunch of Easter coloring pages. Clara started coloring one right away, but unfortunately for her when I come home it's also time for bed. (The coloring pages are meant to be for tomorrow.) As I read them stories and got them in bed, Clara kept talking about how she will get up as soon as the sun comes up and finish her Easter coloring page. Then as I was leaving the nursery:

Clara: Hey Mom?
Me: Yeah?
Clara: Are you going in your room to rest?
Me: Yeah.
Clara: And is Dad going to rest too?
Me: I don't know, maybe.
Clara: But is he going in your room too?
Me: He might hang out in the living room for awhile.
Clara: Maybe he can hang out on your bed.
Me: Maybe, I don't know. I'm going to bed though, I'm tired.
Clara: And can you shut the door?
Me: Sure *starting to close the nursery door*
Clara: No no, can you shut *your* bedroom door?
Me: Uh, no.
Clara: Hmm.

With all the subtlety of a 6 year old, she's plotting how to finish her coloring page ASAP.

3.19.21 - Parenting is amazing.

 A couple days ago I saw this video and actually teared up:

The video makes me think about how it feels to be a mom, how much we love our children and want the best for them, and how hard it is to articulate those feelings to anyone who has never been a parent. It just changes your entire life. It changes you, it makes you grow and love in ways you didn't know were possible.

Since watching the video I've had the song in my head all week. I've been listening to it at work and humming it to myself at home. In fact the other night after the kids were in bed I was humming it in the shower. I heard Clara pitter patter in to use the bathroom but pretended not to notice. I was still humming to myself when

Clara: Mom? Are you

Me: Yeah?

Clara: Are you taking a shower?

Me: Yeah.

Clara: Oh. I'm just using the potty.

Me: Okay babe. *continues humming*

Clara: Mom?

Me: Yeah?

Clara: You're making beautiful music! It makes me so happy to listen to it.

Me: Oh, thank you!

And then she went back to bed.

3.19.21 - Kid snippets: band girl

We are listening to The Beatles' "I Want You" (recall repeated choruses of "she's so heavyyyyy").

Clara: Who is "she"?
Me: The girl he likes.
Clara: What does she look like?
Me: I don't know. What do you think she looks like?
Clara: I don't know. Probably a band girl.

3.15.21 - Kid snippets: kid says what

Jane: Can we watch Max the Glow Train?
Me: You have to help me clean up first.
Clara: *What?*
Me: You have to help me clean up first.
Clara: I already heard you.
Me: Then why did you say "what"?
Clara: Because...that's just what I say when you talk.

3.14.21 - Super efficient day

 The day was efficient both for getting work done and for spending quality time with the kids (two things I've recently been a bit anxious about).

This morning the girls woke up before Calvin. I heard some feet pitter patter into my room while Jack and I were still asleep. I didn't move or open my eyes and for a moment tried to see if I could tell which kid it was. Then I heard the empty Diet Coke can on my nightstand (from last night) lift up and get put back down, and I knew Clara had tried to see if there was any Diet Coke left to sip. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see both girls. Clara decided she wanted to go to the kitchen table and draw me a surprise, but Jane got in bed with us and lay there peacefully, awake but quiet, while I dozed with my arm around her. I think Jane in particular really benefits from cuddles. 

Eventually Calvin woke up and called to us from across the hallway. I picked him up and we all went into the living room. I had to avert my eyes so that I wouldn't see the surprise drawing Clara was still working on for me. I brought Calvin--all bundled up in his beloved blanket--to the couch, and he cuddled next to me on one side while Jane cuddled next to me on the other, and they both watched me do a jigsaw puzzle on my phone. Jane kept giving me helpful suggestions for the puzzle. Eventually Clara proudly presented her drawing for me - a pink butterfly with orange spots - and explained we have to save the drawing to put on the wall in May, not April. For some reason.

Then the girls went to play together in their room, and managed to do so peacefully for at least twenty minutes. And the entire time they did that, Calvin just leaned against me and watched me work on that puzzle. He was entirely content, not even wiggling around. It was great.

Later in the morning we got out the dress up clothes, and after both girls got decked out we played the freeze dance game for awhile, first on my phone with Spotify, and then through an official app with Alexa. Clara loved it. Alexa plays different styles of music and asks the kids to dance like robots, queens, turtles, and other figures before they have to freeze. Jane mostly watched Clara and smiled shyly, but when they said to dance like a queen she suddenly stood on tiptoes and jutted her chin in the air, held up part of her dress elegantly with one hand, and toddler strutted around the living room. It was awesome. Even Calvin put on a purple necklace and wiggled around with them a bit.

Later in the day I locked myself in my room and got a lot of SPL work done, which always puts me in a good mood.

Then in the afternoon, one of our new babysitters, Mariah, came over with her7-year-old daughter. Since Mariah hadn't been here in several weeks, and only once before, we decided Jack would leave to work on the job hunt and I would stay and let the kids get used to her. But only about half hour in they seemed very comfortable--and in Clara's case, really really happy--to hang out with Mariah and Abrielle, so I went in my room and left the door open while I did some more SPL work. That worked for about 30-45 minutes until Calvin remembered I was there and wanted to hang out. I reset him in the living room and shut my door, and he handled it fine. I got work done the whole time they were here, and meanwhile I could hear them having a wonderful time. They played with Alexa and then practiced expressing different emotions and other games, and by the time I emerged everyone except Calvin was sitting on the floor in a circle, feet touching, and bounching a ball to each other while they made animal sounds. Clara and especially Jane were laughing so hard. In fact when Jane saw me, she asked me to go away, lol. (Exact opposite of how she usually reacts.) The evening was a huge success.

And as I type this, I can hear Jane happily singing a song (that it sounds like she made up, which she does a lot lately) in the other room.

3.14.21 - Kid snippets: 9 3/4 fractions

Clara: Mom, 3 + 4 is *not* 9.
Me: That's true. Do you know what it is?
Clara: 7
Me: Very good, how did you know that?
Clara: I just did. But Mom, that's why your shirt is *wrong*.
Me: My shirt?
I look down and realize I'm wearing my platform 9 3/4 shirt. This girl doesn't know Harry Potter.

3.14.21 - Joy status: finding childcare

5-6 weeks ago I sucked it up and paid for a membership to Care dot com so I could post an ad, and since then we've hired two sitters to rotate weekends. So far each one has been unexpectedly unavailable once, and the other has been able to cover for them (hence hiring two of them). We've had at least a bit of help for four weekends in a row, and it's making a huge difference.

And as a bonus, one of them has a 7-year-old daughter who I said we'd be happy to have along, so now the kids are getting a little bit more other-kid exposure. Clara in particular is thrilled.

3.11.21 - Joy status: losing weight

I've lost and kept weight off consistently enough that I'm starting to wear out a new notch on my belt.

3.7.21 - Cuddles with Jane

 Typically Calvin wakes up first, followed shortly by Jane and eventually by Clara. But this morning, Jane woke up first. I was already awake, still in bed, looking at my phone, when I heard the nursery door open and saw Jane step tentatively out. I gestured silently for her to come to me, and she ran up with her blanket and baby Dumbo (stuffed elephant). I picked her up and put her in bed between Jack (still mostly asleep) and me. Jack and I both turned facing her. I draped an arm over her chest, and Jack and I held hands above her head. Jane was all the way awake, but happy to quietly lie in bed with us for awhile. I half dozed but each time I looked at her she was already looking at me. 

I thought about the sweet intmacy of getting to quietly cuddle with my kids, and I'm especially glad it was Jane in this case. Calvin demands lots of cuddles and is pretty upfront about his needs. Clara is just not as interested in cuddling (or sitting still). I think Jane is still young enough and has the personality to really soak up lots of cuddles, but she doesn't ask for them often. It was nice to get a chance to give her some undivided attention.

Jane helping me make cookies on Valentine's Day

3.6.21 - Kid snippets: Magical wish machine vs fishing

Clara: When I grow up I will have a magic wish machine and you can wish to be any animal you want and it will explode in color and then turn you into the animal and you will be small!

Jane: When *I* grow up, I will go fishing!

3.5.21 - Joy status: resilient headphones

 I've accidentally run my headphones through the washer *twice* and **they still work**. Amazing.

3.3.21 - Alone time with Clara

Today was a lovely day overall, but I'm too tired to write out all the details. The main thing I want to make sure to remember is that Jack took Jane and Calvin on a few errands, and while Clara and I were the only ones home, I showed her pictures and videos of the day she was born and the days thereafter. We watched a video of her still at the hospital, yawning. We watched one of Jama giving her a sponge bath on the kitchen counter. While we watched them, she sat in my lap and cuddled and said things like "I was such a cute wittle baaaby!" And I felt overwhelmed with love and awe and joy at my sweet, precious child, getting so big so fast.

3.1.21 - Kid snippets: Clara is almost 6.

For the past week or two Clara hasn't been able to stop talking about how she's almost 6, which has been great. This morning she was particularly excited for us to switch all our calendars from February to March, because it means her birthday is almost here.

Tonight, just before bed, she asked me "Excuse me, Mom, but tomorrow at night I can cross off the 2 [the calendar square for March 2], and then the next morning, I will be 6?"

Me: "Yep, that's right, you will."

Clara: "And I will wake up and say [in awed whisper] 'I'm alive!' and then I will JUMP up--"

Me: "Do not jump on your bed."

Clara: "--I will RUN down my ladder and say to you [lies on her back and kicks and pumps her fists in the air] 'I'm six I'm six I'm SIX!'"

Tomorrow is her last day being five years old, and I can't believe it. It's going so fast. It's a joy to watch her grow but also sad to see her moving through young childhood so quickly. My heart is full.

Picture from earlier today trying out her lab coat from Ellen.

3.1.21 - Mom's lasagna

Ingrediets

• 1 lb. mild Italian Sausage
• 1 T. basil
• 1 T. olive oil
• ½ t. Salt
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 large can crushed tomatoes
• 1 T. chopped parsley
• 1 6-oz. Can tomato paste

• 10. oz. lasagna noodles

• 24 oz. cottage cheese
• ½ t. pepper
• 2 beaten eggs
• 2 T chopped parsley
• ½ t. salt
• ½ cup parmesan cheese

• 1 lb. mozzarella cheese (slices or shredded)

Instructions

• Brown sausage in hot oil then drain excess oil. Add the next 7 ingredients. Simmer uncovered until thick, about 1 hour. Stir occasionally. 

• Meanwhile, cook noodles in boiling water until tender; drain then rinse in cold water

• In a separate bowl, combine cottage cheese with the next 5 ingredients.

• Place half the noodles in a 13 x 9 baking dish; spread half of the cheese mixture over the noodles, then half of the mozzarella cheese. On top of the cheese spread half of the meat mixture. Repeat layers.

• Bake in a 375 degree oven for 30 minutes. Let stand 20 minutes before cutting. Makes 12 servings.

2.28.21 - Kid snippets: Clara learns about gravity

Clara, standing on an end table in the living room (totally not supposed to do that, btw).

Clara: Mom, I'm going to learn about gravity.
*She holds up a piece of paper in one hand, a large bouncy ball in another.
*She makes sure I'm watching.
*Drops both
Clara: See? The ball goes faster because it is heavier than the piece of paper. Heavier things fall faster.

I actually don't know why she knows that but I'll take it.

2.19.21 - Kid snippets: "I will worry about both of us!"

From earlier this week, as relayed to me by Jack:

Jack: Clara, you need to go sit on the potty.
Clara: But you didn't brush your teeth.
J: Those aren't related. Go sit on the potty.
C: You need to brush your teeth!
J: Don't worry about me, worry about yourself!
C: I will worry about BOTH of us!

2.18.21 - Joy status: sun rising earlier

It's *also* now light out by the time I arrive to work.

2.17.21 - Joy status: sun setting later

It's starting to be light out when I leave work.

2.16.21 - joy status: long power cords

Really long power cords, the sock slippers Julie got me for Christmas, my fingerless gloves.

2.15.21 - Kid snippets: Statue Delivery

Clara believes the Statue of Liberty is called "Statue Delivery."

2.13.21 - Kid snippets: "I can ask how I want!"

Clara: Mom!
Me: Yeah?
C: You're not listening!
M: You haven't said anything.
C: Before - I *said* get me a belt.
M: Hey Clara?
C: Yes?
M: Of the two of us, which one is the mom?
C: (shyly) ...you
M: And which one is the daughter?
C: (giggling) me!
M: And are daughters supposed to tell moms what to do?
C: (back to shy) ((quietly)) ...no
M: No. You can say "Mom can you please get me a belt?" But you do not say "Mom you're not listening, I **said**..." Now do you want to try again?
C: (quietly) Can you please get me a belt?
M: (cheerfully) Sure!
C: (loud again) AND when *I* grow up I can ask how I want!

Jane finished her lunch so she got to have a gluten free (woohoo!) Oreo. Calvin was not done yet and I didn't want him to see hers so I told her to hide it. She smiled slyly at him, which he didn't notice at all, and held the Oreo behind her back. Then she turned around, hand behind her back fully visible, and slyly walked away. (Fortunately he still didn't notice.)

Clara and Jane are watching this video about different sized stars, and it has a moment where it explains that if the earth was as close to one of these other giant stars as it is to our sun, it would be inside the star and "we would all be very dead."

Clara: Mom, if the sun gets to us we will all fall down and die! So quick! We have to hurry hurry hurry!
Me, laughing: What are we hurrying to do?
Clara: We got to get off the earth and into space where it's safe.
Me: Good idea.
Clara: I will ask the alien to take us somewhere safe from the sun. But before the Earth dies, we must put on our astronaut clothes BEFORE the Earth dies. So. Can we do that tomorrow?

2.11.21 - Joy status: upcoming Valentine's party, potential childcare help

Not one of my children woke me up last night. I feel so rested. One of our managers gave me a sweater that was too big for her and it is incredibly soft and cozy and I'm wearing it to work today. I went ahead and posted a job through care.com and I've had a lot of applications in my price range, so I'm hopeful Jack and I will start being able to go on dates again soon. My manager put me in charge of updating our company's website, and I'm enjoying the project. Finally, we are having a tiny Valentine's party for the kids on Sunday. My only specific idea was to make heart-shaped cookies, but their grandparents also sent them Valentine's gifts so they will have some things to open too. I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

2.10.21 - Mom is a great RN

My mom, an RN, began hospice work last year. She is really well suited to this kind of work. She's kind, attentive, and communicative, and she's taking good care of people in a difficult part of their lives (and their families' lives). The joy is that I'm so proud of her.

2.8.21 - Joy status: Dollar Tree

The Dollar Tree. I got a bunch of stuff there to have a little Valentine's party with the kids next weekend and it cost me almost nothing.

1.30.21 - Kid snippets: Clara's water cooler voice

Clara just went and poured herself a little cup of orange juice. Then she carefully walked over to me with it and, in the *most* office-water-cooler voice, said "Hello, Mom. Are you having a nice day?" and took a casual sip.

1.29.21 - Kid snippets: Clara describes hockey

Clara is telling us about the hockey game we are going to go to where we all watch her play.

Clara: And then I will hit the circle that is black!
Me: The puck?
Ciara: Yeah the cup!
Jack: The puck.
Clara: Yeah the puck! And then I will win the goal! And THEN I will get the TROPHY!

1.27.21 - Joy status: Losing weight and making professional progress

I'm very very close to finally reaching my pre-pregnancy weight! Also at work I passed my qualifying test for body fluid analysis, which means I should be able to start assisting (some of) the analysts with (some of) their casework. And I signed up for a genetics course I need in my long term prep to become an analyst myself. Productive day!

1.24.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin hates stray hair

Clara: I'm freezing cold.
Me: Go put some pants on.
Clara: Wait a minute! I'm warm!

Calvin really really hates it when a hair gets on him. Could be his fingers or toes or foot or anywhere. Sometimes it's his mouth because he picks food up off the floor. Either way he has a particular squeal that I already have come to recognize as "There is a hair on me! OMG get it off! OFF!" Given how much hair I have, that boy is in for a long road living with me for the next couple decades.

1.23.21 - Sweet evening with the kids while Jack is out of town

(Pre-evening kid snippets)

Jane asked to play "Text Me Merry Christmas." I did but I know Clara doesn't like it when we play holiday songs outside of their seasons. Sure enough Clara came up to me and very quietly asked if we could play a January song. I searched the word "January" on Spotify and found "January Wedding" by the Avett Brothers. It's a very laid-back, sweet sounding song. Clara started slowly dancing to it in the living room. When the singer actually sang the word "January," Clara turned to me with a huge open mouth grin.

Jane was sitting on the top bunk holding a long stick and pretending it's a gun. She kept saying "Pew pew!" as a sound effect but also as a verb, as in "I pewed the kitty!" when she pretended to shoot her stuffed cat. She narrated her pretend play to herself, and I was trying not to laugh so I wouldn't distract her. I heard "Yeah now he's dying! Because! I'm a super hero. To the rescue! ... Just kidding he's fine. Pew! I pew the wall!"

(And the evening)

Out of boredom, I rotated the coffee table 90 degrees parallel to the green chair, thinking the kids would get excited about the larger space. Actually it was the minimal space between the table and the chair that caught their attention. Clara wanted to treat the space like a tunnel for a toy train to go through, whereas Calvin just wanted to squeeze into the space and sit there (thus blocking Clara's tunnel). 

In an attempt to distract Calvin, I spread a full size blue blanket over the living room floor, put an empty egg carton on it, and started filling the carton with the Toy Story 4 figurines, saying it was a boat on the ocean. This distraction was way more interesting to Clara, who started playing with the "ocean." Jane joined her. They played happily while Calvin sat in his cozy spot and watched the, occasionally crawling through one of the spaces in the coffee table to stick his head out and shout at them. They all continued to stay busy without fighting while I made dinner.

While I cooked spaghetti, I blended the sauce with a can each of green beans and corn. It still looked reddish, and smooth enough that it wasn't too obvious. When the food was ready, I asked Clara to put three forks and three paper towels on the table. She got really excited about it! (We clearly don't eat meals together very often.) She asked me if she could also get us drinks (yes) and spoons and more forks (no). We moved Calvin's high chair to the table, and I brought their plates of spaghetti. 

I don't know if Clara was hungry because she ate little lunch or if she was just excited to participate in a discrete family meal or both, but she ate all her spaghetti quickly and easily. She asked me if there were meatballs in it. When I said no, she informed me that this is regular spaghetti and real spaghetti has meat balls. At one point I got up to get something for one of the others, and Clara told me that when I'm not eating I need to place my fork next to my plate neatly, not leave it on my plate. She also wanted me to politely wipe off my mouth with a paper towel at the same time as she did. 

Calvin and Jane also finished their dinner pretty easily, so I gave everone miniature Tootsie pops. Clara wanted me to watch as she and Jane "cheers" each other, i.e. gently knocked their Tootsie pops together and said cheers.

After everyone finished their Tootsie pops, we had a bath. Jane was very eager to help rinse soap off everyone else. Clara was happy to let her (Calvin was ambivalent). At one point Jane dumped a cup of water right over Calvin's head, and he didn't freak out. He just kind of squinted and waited for me to offer a towel. (Small example of how the younger children grow up learning to be more flexible.) They started splashing and getting really silly until they were laughing at everything each other was doing. I didn't really want them to soak the bathroom but I also don't like to disrupt them if they are all really enjoying each other's company. They splash each other and say a bunch of gibberish and laugh and laugh (just now as I type this Clara told me to say "blue be binky macka bah bah boo" for example).

As is often the case right now, Calvin was done first. I got him dressed and set him up with some ABC videos while the girls enjoyed really splashing now that the shower curtain was closed. Not long after Jane, then Clara, followed. As I started typing up this post, the three of them were peacefully watching ABC videos together, and for a moment I watched them and thought about how deeply happy I am that they are growing up together, and we're forming a tiny tight knit community.

1.23.21 - Kid snippets: January songs and Jane pews the wall

Clara woke up and said she's not feeling well. We have a playdate today and I asked her if I should tell them not to come over. She told me that she will be feeling better at 11:23 a.m. She even got out her toy clock to show me what time she was referencing.

Jane asked to play "Text Me Merry Christmas." I did but I know Clara doesn't like it when we play holiday songs outside of their seasons. Sure enough Clara came up to me and very quietly asked if we could play a January song. I searched the word "January" on Spotify and found "January Wedding" by the Avett Brothers. It's a very laid-back, sweet sounding song. Clara started slowly dancing to it in the living room. When the singer actually sang the word "January," Clara turned to me with a huge open mouth grin.

And now Jane is sitting on the top bunk holding a long stick and pretending it's a gun. She keeps saying "Pew pew!" as a sound effect but also as a verb, as in "I pewed the kitty!" when she pretends to shoot her stuffed cat. She's narrating her pretend play to herself, and I am trying not to laugh so I don't distract her. I hear "Yeah now he's dying! Because! I'm a super hero. To the rescue! ... Just kidding he's fine. Pew! I pew the wall!"

1.22.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin moves the bacon

Last night I put a package of frozen bacon in a bowl of warm water in the sink to thaw. I checked some stuff online. I came back and the bacon is gone. In its place in the bowl of water is a can opener. I followed the path I saw Calvin take most recently and did not find the frozen bacon. Eventually I found it on the pantry shelf that is Calvin's height. Thanks buddy.

1.20.21 - Joy status: TikTok

TikTok. So many people out there sharing their humor and creativity, showing the things they really love (kids, pets, parents, favorite recipes and movies), inspiring athletic abilities and dances. I just love thinking about these people technically alone in their kitchens or backyards acting like total dorks in the hopes of making a bunch of strangers laugh. It's awesome.

1.19.21 - Kid snippets: a million million works to do

I was putting the kids to bed and Clara wanted me to sing a lullaby that is kind of long and I didn't feel like it.

Clara: Well if you don't sing it, we will NEVER go to bed!
Me: Wellllll if you don't go to bed I'm going to spank your butt.
Clara: [pause] Hmmm.

A few minutes later...

Clara: But Mom! I can't go to bed because I have a million million million works to do!

1.17.21 - Joy status: Making friends with sidewalk chalk

Yesterday we took the kids to the park. There were a lot of families there probably because the weather was nice. Clara was interested in playing with the other children, and so was Jane but Jane is very shy. Neither could quite figure out how to engage and instead they ended up playing in the sand of an empty volleyball area. Calvin wanted me to get out the sidewalk chalk that we finally remembered to bring.

Not long after I got out the chalk, various children, all of whom looked like they were age seven or younger, walked up to us and stopped 10 ft or so short and just stared at me. I started asking them if they wanted to use the chalk and they were all very excited to do so. Soon my own girls came back to do the same, and they all covered the picnic area sidewalks in their art. In the process Clara and Jane formed little temporary alliances and played delightedly and closely with the other kids for the remaining hour and a half that we were there. When we finally had to leave, we left all the small worn out or broken pieces of chalk for the other kids to keep playing with after we were gone.

It was pretty fantastic. I've already ordered a new set of sidewalk chalk to use as social glue next time we go.

1.13.21 - Joy status: Audiobooks and cranberry bliss bars

• I made gluten-free cranberry bliss bars and my coworkers loved them and were even surprised that they are gluten-free.
• Terrisa is coming to visit and watch the kids on Friday so Jack and I can get lunch. We haven't had a date since September so I'm kind of excited.
• Audible changed its membership package so I can get a bunch of titles for free, including some I was already interested in.
• Several friends recommended I read "Basic Economics" by Thomas Sowell and so far I'm enjoying it.

That's all I can think of right now. Tell me yours.

1.11.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin gets multiple high fives

Calvin had opened the door to the furnace and I told him firmly to shut it. So he did and I said "Good job buddy!" and gave him a thumbs up. Excited, he ran up to me and insisted I give him a high five.

Then he ran back to the furnace door, opened it, and looked at me waiting for me to tell him to shut it. Then he ran back and held his hand out for a high five.

Now as I write the status we are on at least our 7th iteration of this new game.

1.10.21 - Kid snippets: "Oh! I wish I was sick!"

I was driving on the highway with Clara and Jane in the back seat when an ambulance (no sirens, just an ambulance) passed us.

Clara: Oh look! I see something! It's red and yellow!
Me: Do you mean the ambulance? I see it too!
Clara, wistfully: Oh! I wish I was sick.

1.8.21 - Joy status: I love my commute

It's amazing to me how what was once one of the worst parts of my week--my ridiculous 80 mile commute to and from work--has become one of the best parts thanks mostly* to technology. I've come to really enjoy the time to myself as I either "read" audiobooks of interest or catch up with friends (live or through video messaging).

The child-free time of my commute has directly resulted in more substantial connections to some of my closest friends. I have a pretty great weekly and monthly rotation of "commute contacts." I think I would enjoy this in any case, but the added socialization has been especially helpful in the last year when in-person interactions are more difficult.

*I say "mostly" because another factor was my schedule change--I now commute only at times when there isn't any horrendous traffic, so that makes it a lot more peaceful.

1.4.21 - Kid snippets: "Open your eyes!"

Jane frequently asks me to close my eyes and then, without her having changed anything in the environment, she tells me to open my eyes again and points to whatever it is she wanted me to see (e.g. that she finished eating some food, or she finished a drawing or puzzle).

Right now the girls are watching Alice in Wonderland, but Clara is live narrating the entire movie, lol. "The birds fly. Alice is not angry."