10.31.21 - Joy status: Halloween on FB

Halloween is one of the best days on Facebook. I love all your costume and decor pics!

10.29.21 - Joy status: broccoli cheddar soup

I was having a frustrating day because Clara woke up sick and things hobbled along from there. BUT. Merlene (my MIL) watched the girls so I didn't have to reschedule an important work call, and when I finished the call I came down to the kitchen to find she had also made broccoli cheddar soup! And it's all rainy and gloomy outside so it's a perfect soup day!

10.11.21 - Joy status: autumn day

Today was such an autumn day. 

Woke up to thunderstorms which the kids watched eagerly when they were supposed to be getting ready for the day. As I drove Jane and Calvin to in-home daycare, Jane (4yo) kept wistfully remarking at how beautiful the sky was with dark blue mixed with sunrise gold. She said "oh! It's such a lovely day!" It rained on and off all day and I loved it. Currently I am working out of an extra room at my mom's house, and when I got there this morning she had put up all of her fall decor on her front porch and in her living room and it was incredibly cozy. I had autumn squash soup for lunch. And then this evening I went on a long walk through a park by a lake with my sister-in-law and it was very breezy and cool and there were leaves of all kinds of colors covering the path the whole way. It was beautiful.

10.2.21 - Joy status: begin the last quarter of the year

The last and best quarter of the year is off to a good start. I put up a few Halloween decorations in the kids' room before they came home yesterday, and they were so excited! They decided to wear their Halloween t-shirts for pajamas and fell asleep to twinkling pumpkin lights. Also this morning there is rain on the ground and it smells like pancakes in the house. So cozy!

9.21.21 - Joy status: overcast and chilly, and Once Upon a Child

 It's overcast and chilly today.

This evening I went to Once upon a Child and got one new Halloween shirt for each kid. They were really excited when I showed them at home and wanted to try them on immediately. Calvin was so pumped when I put his on that he ran around the living room a couple times. Then we put on songs from Nightmare Before Christmas so they could dance.

In general I really love the last quarter of the year with all of the best holidays, and in particular I have enjoyed it more since having children and getting them excited with themed clothes and books and making decorations together and all of the anticipation of each event. It is so much fun!

11.17.20 - Joy status: It's raining

 It's raining. 🖤

9.14.20 - Kid snippets: It's fall today!

Jane: Mama, can we watch pumpkin videos?
Me: No, not right now.
Clara: But it's fall today!
Me: You can't watch videos in the morning.
Jane: But it's fall today!
Me: ...? That isn't related. You still can't watch videos in the mornings.
Jane: But it's fall! It's fall today Mama!
Me: That doesn't matter!
Jane: Yes it is!

Pic taken same day of Jane's "dress"

12.25.19 - Highlights of the Missouri Christmas Trip

Sadly as life gets increasingly busy I have less and less time to update my blog and remember all the good memories, but I suppose having too many good memories to track is a good problem to have. In any case I didn't take any notes of this Christmas trip in real time, so I'm now retrospectively (and hopefully quickly) going to mark the best memories.

In contrast with years prior, this time our trip all preceded and ended with Christmas. I really enjoyed that because (1) it gave us more time to enjoy the Christmas season while on vacation in Missouri and (2) it meant the trip ended on a high note, rather than the ho-hum feeling of the week after Christmas and before New Year's.

Also in contrast with previous trips, none of the kids got sick at all during the entire trip. That alone made it much more enjoyable. As a corollary all three of them slept pretty well almost every night, meaning Jack and I also got decent sleep, which of course makes everything better.

As another bonus, the girls are now at an age (especially Clara) where they can really get excited about holidays. This was true for 2019 with the 4th of July (fireworks, popcorn), Halloween (pumpkin patch, Trunk or Treat) and now the Christmas season. Here's a short list of all the Christmas-themed events they got to participate in:

• 12/13 - Arrive in STL, help decorate Mimi's Christmas tree.
• 12/14 - Santa Pancake breakfast at Connection Church (including gluten free pancakes, Charlie Brown's Christmas on the big screen, story time and pictures with Santa, and Christmas karaoke)
• 12/15 - Snowed in at Mimi and Gpa's, got to try on winter gear, explore the snow, ride around in a toboggan in the front yard, watch Jack make a Blues fan snow man, and then come inside for hot chocolate!
• 12/18 - Polar Express! Cookies, cocoa, dancing, silver bells, and all while decked out in Blues pajamas.
• 12/19 - Sledding in the morning in Mimi's backyard. Christmas light shows that night. I didn't get to do this one because I was having sushi dinner with Neil and Everett, however the kids went with Jack, Mimi, and Gpa to see two shows: one at the Church on Mexico and another at a private house all decked out.
• 12/20 - St. Charles Christmas Traditions - collecting the cards of Christmas characters such as Sugar Plum Fairy and Jack Frost, all while enjoying essentially Christmas town, with the jingle bell horse-drawn carriages, carolers along the streets, tons of decor, and at one point watching a violinist play beautiful carolers and giving her a dollar.
• 12/22 - Christmas Cookie Party at Aunt Linda's and Christmas at the Jackson's. Dinner, Christmas story, gifts and stockings, letters to Santa.
• 12/24 - Christmas at Jama's. Homemade gluten free cinnamon roll toast, more gifts, and cousins to play with.

There were many wonderful moments and I wish I could detail them all, but possibly my favorite was during the snow day on Sunday, 12/15. In general I dislike snow, and this snow was falling heavy and meant we weren't going to the much anticipated Christmas Cookie Party at Aunt Linda's, so I was pretty annoyed when I heard about it. I'd also expected to have an hour to two to myself while Jack took the kids to church, and at first he was considering skipping it because of the winter storm warnings. However all worked out. The snow wasn't going to hit until a little later so he took them after all and I still got time for a shower and a nap (the luxuries!) Then Linda let us know she was going to have a Cookie Day Part Deux the next week, so we weren't missing out on that after all. But easily the best part was watching the kids, especially Clara, experience the snow.

Merlene had run out and gotten both girls snow boots, mittens, and hats. Clara was excited to put on her winter wear. Jane wanted to follow Clara's lead, but was also really irritated about all the stuff we kept adding to her outfit, resulting in perhaps the best picture I took all year:

The snow was still falling heavily when they got outside, and I captured some very sweet videos of the quiet interest they had. 

Calvin was sleeping peacefully in the cozy house, and I stayed with him, but Jack got busy building a (Blues fan) snowman and Don and Merlene got busy finding something suitable for a sled. At first Jane tried the makeshift bucket sled and fell face first into the snow pretty quickly. She was so upset, and I thought for sure she'd retreat to the house with me, but to my surprise she chose to stick it out (as long as someone was holding her). So Don carried Jane in one arm and pulled Mimi and Clara in another in the toboggan. I really enjoyed watching their wonder and joy...from the warmth of the house with Piano Guy Christmas music on in the background. Then there was a moment--blissfully captured on video--when Clara looked to me in the window and waved and said "hi Mom!" I don't know how to explain why but that just elated me. It felt like I was watching across time, from years in the future, a treasured memory of my sweet little girl enjoying a new experience. I've said before that sometimes parenting feels like heartbreak but out of happiness instead of sorrow, and this was one of those moments. I felt elated, and that may have best moment of an already pretty great trip. I would not have expected that from snow.

Absent more time to record all the other great moments, here are some favorite pics (of the MANY great pics I got thanks to Henry giving me his Pixel 3, which has a great camera):

At SMF waiting for our plane.

On the way to Santa Pancake breakfast.

Clara spontaneously ran up to hug Santa, and the photographer captured it. <3

Calvin meets Myrna.

Snowfall over a couple hours.

Hiding out behind the Christmas tree.

On our way to the Polar Express.

About to meet Christmas characters in Old Town St. Charles.

Mike treated us to dinner at Bellweather, and it was lovely.

Gpa and Mimi made gluten free tortellini.

11.30.19 - joy statuses

11.25.19 - (Early) Thanksgiving in Colorado

The travel day was not bad at all. Calvin slept on the way to SMF and we made it through security no problem. At the gate he hung out with me watching out the window while I messed on my phone. Once we boarded Neil and Emily were already on the flight because they very graciously left Portland early so they could help me with him from SMF to DEN.
Emily slept most of the flight and Neil and I visited and did crosswords together. He helped me a lot by holding various items while I adjusted Calvin. It makes a big difference. Once we landed they helped watch my stroller and things while I changed Calvin and got readjusted. We met up with Everett, then Henry, and all drove back to COS together chatting happily and driving carefully because it was snowy. Calvin slept the whole way. What a good traveler.
It was great to get to Tejon and not be concerned about gluten. Matt made a bunch of pizzas in the brick oven and we enjoyed those with some wine. Miss Kristin took Calvin and we all went to early karaoke (we arrived about 7pm). It was also great to go out and know that I wouldn't have to wake up, move, and try to get back down two toddlers at the end of the night. Getting a little baby to go back to sleep is a bit easier. So I really enjoyed the karaoke night. I just had a few Angry Orchard's and tried a few new karaoke songs (some worked (Ruby Baby) and some didn't (Written in the Sand), but it was good to try), and just generally enjoyed myself.
Afterward, we all traipsed to the Air BnB. Actually we drove because it was pretty cold out, but the place is so close by (half a block) that we probably could've walked just as easily. The Air BnB was adorable - a little cottage with a cozy bedroom downstairs and several more beds in the A-frame attic. We set up the pack and play in the downstairs bedroom and Calvin and I slept there peacefully. And because it was just me, there was plenty of space to bring Calvin in bed through the night and nurse him while half sleeping, which is something I always really enjoyed with Jane and was glad to get a chance to do with Calvin for once. In fact in general it was great to get to spend so much time with Calvin, just the two of us. Now that I'm back at the lab I don't see him as much during normal weeks and it was good to get lots of cuddles in. It doesn't hurt that he's mostly very easy and cheerful and everyone else also enjoys seeing him.
It was great to stay at an Air BnB so close, because I could just walk Calvin and me back and forth whenever I needed to without impacting anyone else's schedule or needing to borrow a vehicle.

[This as far as I was able to write at the time, the rest are just my quick notes.]

--Our Air Bnb is adorable and cozy, with plenty of space for Calvin and me to have our own room. Plus it's less than a block from Dad's house, so we can just walk back and forth.

--Emily took Calvin so I could take a much needed nap. I slept peacefully on Dad's huge bed for probably 1.5-2 hours and the other adults just took care of Calvin, feeding him and keeping him busy. It made a huge difference in the overall day.

--It was the most relaxed Thanksgiving day we've had, probably because there were fewer people, especially children, and because Matt did all the cooking so Dad wasn't stressing about it.

--And so of course the food was especially amazing, including bacon wrapped turkey stuffed with rum-soaked fruit or something.

--Calvin fell asleep right before it was time to eat dinner so I got to eat the whole dinner in peace. In fact I specifically remember sipping lavender wine (weird but delicious) and telling the room in general that I was in such a good freaking mood because I felt well-rested and was about to eat an amazing meal and Calvin was being very easy and I got to hang out with everyone.

--Then I got to sit on the couch and cuddle and play with Calvin while most of the other adults cleaned up the mess of a kitchen.

--Everett took Calvin so I could play the Paper Game, and I got through almost the entire game before needing to tend to him. When it was time to read our cards and I was taking care of Calvin, Rocket was very happy to read my cards for me, which was sweet.

--Henry went ahead of me to the Air Bnb to set up the pack and play, so when we got home I was able to sing to Calvin to calm him enough to nurse him lying down (my favorite, and something I've really enjoyed on this trip) and then put him to bed.

--Then I got a good 2.5 hours sleep before I needed to pump again, which is when I took the chance to write all this out real quick. And of course then go back to sleep.
--We made no plans for Sunday so we were able to lounge and play games and pivot at our leisure.
--I got to play a game of Catan while Emily and Henry kept Calvin busy/happy.
--I laughed a lot at how one-sided the game was and, actually, how good Rocket was and how he kept accidentally trash talking.
--I enjoyed Thanksgiving leftovers all day, especially cheesy potatoes.
--I got to visit with Ellen for awhile. I don't get to talk to her as much anymore because she's so busy with residency so it was good to chat one-on-one while we unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher.
--We rewatched all of Dad's 60th Birthday video and then decided to watch the 50th one as well.
--I got to play two games of Quiplash while Calvin leaned against Emily and happily hung out with everyone. I laughed very, very hard, especially when Everett answered "What should the next Lucky Charms marshmallow be?" with "Hot sog mmmm burger meat so good marshmellow." Seriously. Laughed until I cried.
It was such a fun and relaxing trip.

11.1.19 - Hobby Lobby with the girls

Took the girls with me to look for Halloween/fall decor discounts and they had a wonderful time. They were so excited about all the beautiful crafts and decorations that we ended up walking slowly through the entire store just so they could look. Jane's favorite part was all the fake pumpkins and pumpkin-based decor. Clara's favorite parts were the large artificial Christmas trees and an oversized Rudolph doll.

And while the three of us got out of the house and took our time exploring, Jack got to enjoy some peaceful one-on-one time with Calvin, who basically watched Jack clean and offered emotional support in the form of smiles and coos. And that in turn means *I* got to return to a much cleaner-than-usual apartment.

Oh, plus I bought one new Halloween decoration and a couple things for a Thanksgiving craft I'm making, all for less than $10. So yeah, win for everyone involved. :)

Those red flowers? Hobby Lobby sale.

7.13.19 - Renata's day visit

Even though Renata lives much closer now (San Francisco), our schedules are such that we rarely see each other, so a few weeks ago we picked a date to stick to, and that was today.

I got some work done in the morning and then Jack helped me clean the apartment relatively thoroughly. Amazing how much we can get done when (1) Jane is asleep and Clara is watching a video and (2) we are kind of hurrying because we have company coming over. This might be the cleanest my desk has been since I assembled it.

Jack left to study for the NCLEX and Jane woke up shortly before Renata arrived. Renata came bearing gifts: gluten free pizza, rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes, watermelons and cantaloupes, and toys. She brought this adorable mermaid-themed tea set and a Melissa & Doug set of fake food. She also brought some very cute baby boy clothes for Calvin.

At first Jane was being very shy and just laying against me on the couch not looking at Renata, but Clara was excited to see her and very excited about the toys. They started playing with the tea set right away (which Clara informed us was actually hot chocolate) while Renata and I visited. Of course eventually Jane warmed up and started also pouring hot chocolate and putting pieces of food on plates to hand to Renata and me. Clara also handed food to her stuffed elephant, Fawn, and stuffed puppy, Jelly.

It was wonderful having Renata here. I'm in the last month of pregnancy and I am very easily tired and irritable. I'm struggling to be home with the girls by myself because it inherently requires getting up and down so much. Renata took care of a million little things so I could stay seated on the couch (getting Jane her cup, getting the girls food, helping the girls wipe off their faces, etc etc) and it really does make a huge difference. Besides that, she kept me very awake and alert because we were animatedly visiting the whole time. She briefly had to leave in the middle to pick up Mia from the groomer's, and while she was gone I was struggling to stay awake while the girls watched a movie. As soon as she returned it was easy.

And it was great catching up with her! I've been thinking recently about Renata, actually, and how she is one of my female friends who I resonate with specifically in terms of how direct she is and how readily she advocates for herself. These are qualities I've always liked about her and have come to appreciate more as time goes on.

The girls were fairly excited to see Mia, who is a smaller dog and very even-tempered and relaxed. Clara very carefully would pet Mia and Renata let Clara give some dog treats. Jane mostly observed. At one point Mia barked a few times--not that aggressively in my opinion, but it frightened Jane. But I held her for a bit and she recovered quickly. We took the girls and Mia around the complex for a walk. I loved the summery outfits they ended up wearing--Jane so cool in her sunglasses (which she specifically requested), and Clara looking a little "punk rock" (so I told her) in a frilly tulle pink skirt with bright green and red ninja turtle boots. It had been a hot day and even then at past 6 pm it was pretty warm, but at least a lot of the complex was in shade and it was a tolerable warm. Mia can be off leash and totally fine, even when other dogs are around. It was pretty impressive.

We went back to the apartment and had some of the tangerine popsicles Renata had brought for us. We ate them on the front porch/balcony so the inevitable drips wouldn't get all over the apartment complex. Amazingly we couldn't get Jane to try one, but she happily brought the tea set out to us--one piece at a time--while we ate. Clara enjoyed her popsicle very much until it started melting on her hand, so Renata showed her how to wrap a paper towel around the stick to hold it. Ultimately Renata ended up holding it for Clara while she ate, and then we put the rest in a bowl and let her eat it with a spoon.

She stayed and visited with me until it was time to put the girls to bed, and even then she helped clean up the apartment while I got them ready. When she and Mia left the girls ran to the nursery and watched them out the window as they went to their car, waving and saying bye. Renata turned what would have been a long, tiring, slightly boring, difficult day into a really fun summer-themed visit, and I am so glad she came up!

4.30.19 - April joy statuses

2.14.19 - Kid Snippets - Clementines, umbrellas, rain

Last night:
Clara: Daddy, say "awwww yeah!"
Jack: Awwww, yeah!
Clara: Say "I want to turn on the videos!"
Jack: Nice try!

Jane helped me peel a clementine. I would start one peel and then she'd pull it the rest of the way off. Each time she would get SO excited and squeal and stomp and turn in a circle and sometimes just yell (like she does). She didn't actually want to eat the clementine or anything, of course, but she was pretty excited that it was peeled.

This morning:
It was pouring out, so Jack took the kids to the car one at a time with an umbrella. Jane first. When he opened the umbrella she looked delighted, and I could hear her repeating "Umbwewah!" all the way down the stairs and to the car.

Meanwhile Clara stood on the covered balcony with me, talking incessantly about the weather. "Mommy, say 'the rain is pouring down!' Mommy look, look at the rain! Mommy the rain is on my head!" (She did not want to put her hood on, preferring the full experience.)

12.31.18 - December joy statuses