6.11.18 - Pool day & Polite Society

I woke up around 7 a.m. and went to Mom's. We used the Starbucks app to mobile order some iced grande mochas, then I walked in and grabbed them on our drive over to City Hall, and we walked all around the City Center and park talking. It was early enough that it wasn't too warm and we had a really nice time. I haven't been up there in years so it was nice to see again.

On the way back we stopped by Walmart Neighborhood Market and Mom picked up some groceries for herself and some gluten free food to keep around for Clara, which was very sweet. When we got back to her house I took off in a hurry so I could get back to the Jacksons and help get the girls ready for all of us to go to Mark & Linda's pool!

First of all the girls' suits were absolutely adorable and I really enjoyed that. And while I'm feeling a little worn out from all the supplies we have to pack (food, diapers, back up clothes, etc) every time we bring the girls anywhere, this outing was totally worth it. I also haven't been to Linda's in years, and I love spending time with her, and I haven't seen Mark in forever, so all of that I was looking forward to.

Clara's ballerina-like swimsuit

We got there and she waved us to park in her driveway. We went inside and there were not one but three cats (Santino, Mikey Fredo, and Purrrrl), and Clara was psyched  about that. She kept pointing them out and petting them, and Jane started crawling around chasing them, and for the most part the cats took it in stride.

Before we had even got outside the Wolks (minus Denny) and Ellen arrived, so we got everyone sunscreened up and ready to go. Incidentally the sunscreen Merlene bought us is excellent--it's not only gluten free but it's spray on yet still lotion (not aerolized spray) and seems pretty effective. Anyway as we were prepping all the kids Clara noticed the pool outside (which I also have never seen finished and which is gorgeous) and she kept saying "Swim?? Let's GO!" So excited haha.

Yet when we finally got outside she was of course a bit hesitant about getting in, which is fine with me as I want her to be cautious, although I'd also like her to see how fun swimming is. Zoey and Malcolm got in right away, and Jack waded in with Jane (who was perfectly content to be in the water), but Clara mostly stayed at the top step on the shallow end. I tried to entice her with various pool toys or by sitting next to her to get her to go in at least one or two steps more. At one point she stood near the edge of the pool and I got her to jump to me, but when I dipped her in to her waits (where her life jacket reached the water) she got scared and yelled "NOOOOO!" so I put her back on the top step. After that she didn't even want to go on the steps and spent a long time (over an hour at least) walking around the pool perimeter watching everyone, sometimes throwing balls back and forth, sometimes cheering for Linda and Ellen (and Jack) playing pool volleyball, but certainly never actually getting in the water.

Clara is cautious with the pool and perfers to walk around it.

Zoey is happy to get right in.

I was a little disappointed because I think if she tried it she would love it, but I tried to remind myself that she was having a great time anyway and there's no hurry. Zoey and Malcolm were loving it and Mark and Linda are great hosts and seemed happy to share and to tell us about how they put it together (along with other cool aspects of their lovely backyard, such as Mark's very organized garden which Julie really liked).

We had corn on the cob and strawberries and even some delicious vegan bread Ellen brought back from her friend's bridal shower weekend. Mark grilled hot dogs and had his homemade relish and dilled carrots (which Jane liked) and other treats. It was all so pleasant. Of course we had gluten free food for Clara (the muffins she loves, string cheese, oranges, PBJ) and she seemed happy with that.

At one point Clara was sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet on the top step, and I was spinning a yellow beach ball in the pool, which she found very exciting. Most of the rest of our crew were sitting at the patio table eating lunch, and on the radio Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" came on. I've always liked that song largely because of its inclusion in the soundtrack to "Almost Famous," which I enjoyed in high school. Something about being in Missouri in the summer, at a pool, listening to a nostalgic-sounding song that reminds me of high school--man, all of it was nostalgic in a very happy way, and I started singing along while swirling the beach ball and Clara seemed to enjoy it. It was really lovely.

Jane tries to inhale a corn on the cob.

Eventually Jane was rubbing her eyes so I went upstairs and nursed her in the guest bedroom and she completely passed out. Jack joined her and I went back down to the pool. Julie, Ellen, and I were goofing around while Linda took some pictures, and it was then--when no one was paying attention to her that she could tell--that Clara tentatively got back in the water. She layed down in the water on the first step and let her legs dangle over the other steps.

Getting braver.

I brought one of the pool boats over to her and she seemed interested but just before she was about to try to step into it Malcolm jumped in, so I launched him off and grabbed the other boat for Clara. I don't think it hurt that she saw Malcolm do it, and she was ready to get in. "Clara boat??" I picked her up and put her in and she loved it! I pulled her boat all around the pool for at least 45 minutes. She had her sunhat and eventually also Linda's sunglasses, and she was very happy to just keep floating. If I ever dragged her nearer the stairs again she would protest with "Oh! Oh! Clara boat!" meaning she wanted to keep floating. I was thrilled, actually, that she was in the water so much. I eventually dipped my hair in too, which incidentally is definitely in my joy inventory. Such a wonderful feeling.

She wanted to check out the fountains.

Eventually Jack came back down with a refreshed Jane and I had her on my hip in the pool. I took Clara out of the boat and held her on the other hip, and she was scared for a second but then seemed to really enjoy it.

By now we had been at Linda & Mark's for nearly 5 hours, so we decided to pack it in. Clara passed out on the way home but did wake up when we got back, which was fine because I figured it meant she wouldn't stay up too late with Don & Merlene watching her.

Jack and I took turns taking showers and watching the kids. Dave dropped by after work and visited briefly and saw the girls. Then Jack and I left the girls with Don & Merlene and we drove to Saint Louis to have dinner with Mike (his treat). On the drive there we were on the highway and I saw a woman next to us with her windows down singing along to whatever she was listening to. I couldn't hear her at all but it was a pleasant sight. At Jack's insistence (sweet of him) I slept on the way there, and I woke up when we parked in a beautiful area with tall old style houses that reminded me of San Francisco. They were across the street from a large beautiful park with wrought iron fences.

We walked down a super clean sidewalk and found the restaurant, and Mike was in the lobby waiting for us. He introduced us to the owner, Bryan, and we were sat immediately. Turns out Mike knows the owner from years before the restaurant even opened, and he spent weeks helping set up various IT and electrical framework, he continues to help maintain the restaurant, and in exchange he eats there for free probably about once a week. So that was amazing and made me feel more comfortable with him treating us to such a nice meal.

The food was good but the drinks in particular were great, and they all had funny pop culture names like Thai Fighter and I Am Groot. The restaurant has a steampunk theme which I really liked, including gears and pipes holding up lamps and bookshelves, etc. The whole thing is in a brick building which doesn't hurt. We had some fried portobello mushrooms for appetizers and dark chocolate pretzel bread pudding for dessert--those were probably my favorite parts. And we talked and laughed and had easy conversation the whole time. It was very enjoyable.

Then on the way home Jack was talking to me about things he'd been thinking about inspired largely by the sermon he heard at his parents' church on Sunday. And he told me that (paraphrasing) he finds me so attractive not just physically but as his wife and specifically because I've "kicked ass" keeping our family afloat the last couple years while he finished nursing school. It meant a lot to me to hear him say all of that. In fact I think it's one of the more profound and kind things he's said to me, so that was a nice way to top off the night.

Bedtime stories

I remember being a kid and resting against my mom while she read us stories. And I've enjoyed reliving that nostalgia by watching Jill read storeis to Harrison, Sola, and Rocket. But now I get to enjoy the other side of the equation by having Clara cuddled up on me watching the pages turn as I read her stories.

More days than not I read her a few books throughout the day, and every night we read 3-4 books together as part of bedtime routine, always including "Blueberry Girl" and always ending with "It's a Wonderful World" (which, since it's a singing book, serves as kind of a lullaby).

I love reading to her. I love how she can be making all sorts of loud, bored baby noises until I pull a book out and then she gets quiet and attentive. I love how she kicks her legs when she gets excited from recognizing one of the books or from me singing parts of it. I love how she holds her breath for a secon and then coos "Ba!" when she's happy about what we're doing. I love how sometimes she very suddenly turns to look up at me, as if surprised to realize I'm the one she's sitting on and that it's not some disembodied voice reading the story to her.

And of course I'm happy to be (hopefully) setting the stage for her to have a lifelong love of reading herself. I think about how someday we'll probably read the first Harry Potter book together, and maybe when she's a preteen she'll be curled up in a chair in a living room of a house we live in (that would be amazing) reading Calvin & Hobbes. And who knows what books will come out during her youth that we'll be life-shaping for her. I am so looking forward to it!

7.10.15 - CO summer trip

After we visited MO we flew directly to CO. Neil and Everett took the same flight out as us. Ellen was already there as she had been apartment hunting the weeks before. Julie and her family drove out so they could bring Charlie with them.

The CO trip was also too short and a bit hectic, but also had a lot of fun points. Highlights:

• When we first arrived at the house, the gigantic dining room table was covered in a feast of leftovers, including a spinach quiche, ribs, and a cream cheese pie (plus tons of other stuff). It was all delicious. It reminded me of the feast scene in Hook.
• Dad got Jack, Clara, and me a hotel room so we had a quiet, peaceful place to sleep each night. The room included a California King bed, which was wonderfully spacious and big enough for Clara to sleep between us with still enough room.

• The hotel had complimentary breakfast each morning, and since I had to wake up at 7am to pump anyway, the first morning we all three got up and went to get breakfast. While down there we found the Julie et al (who also had a hotel room) and we got to hang out with them for awhile, which was nice.

"Baby-off" with the Wolks during breakfast.

• The weather was pretty cool and rainy the whole time, which I loved, again, because of how dry California has been.
• It's really sweet to see how well Sola looks after all the younger kids. Apparently at some point Jill paid Sola for helping babysit, and Sola used the money to buy Zoey and Rocket gifts. What a sweetheart.
• One of the gifts Sola got Rocket was a big foam dice. Rocket and I played a game where we both just throw the dice and whoever rolls the higher number wins. He kept trying to orient the dice to land on 6 and drop it straight down, but since it's foam it would still bounce. It was funny to watch. He got pretty excited about our never-ending competition.
• The first night we were in town, Dad and Jill hired Ms. Kristin to watch the kids, and all the adults went out to sing Karaoke. I nursed one Angry Orchard the whole time (so I wouldn't have to worry about pumping and dumping) and we sang all night. Dad and Jill had hired the karaoke DJ for that night, so our group sang nearly every single song without having to wait. So fun.

• At one point Bryon picked "Come and Get Your Love" and somehow that evolved into Neil and Everett singing back up as if they were in a heavy metal band.
• The 2nd day a lot of the adults went to the ranch, but I stayed back with Clara and Jill and the kids, and I was glad I did. The house was much more peaceful. I sat in the family room and watched some Pokemon, and noticed Rocket subconsciously singing along to the theme song at the start of each new episode. Pretty cute. Later the bigger kids went to play in the backyard, and I went and sat on the front porch swing with Clara in the relative silence and sang to her and enjoyed the view. The front porch is my favorite part of that house. So peaceful and relaxing and pretty.
• After everyone came home, later that night, Neil, Everett, Ellen and I played DOOM for about 3 hours. It was such an absolute blast--possibly my favorite part of the entire trip. I was laughing almost nonstop the entire time, and so were they. Everett especially makes it more fun because he makes such ridiculous squeals and weird noises of desperation and laughter when he's trying not to be killed. At one point he and I were both on the "roof" of the level, which is a big open space, and he was trying to shoot me with the single barrel shotgun and he missed all 12 shots. I laughed so hard I cried. There were tons of hilarious moments like that, and we really only stopped because it was midnight and Jack and I needed to go back to the hotel and get Clara down.

• The next day the guys helped Dad pour concrete walkways in the backyard, and then all the siblings and their kids got to put our hand prints in the concrete next to the trampoline. Nostalgic.
• At some point Matt (who couldn't join us for the trip this year) sent a huge tin of caramel and cheese popcorn, and I munched on that throughout the whole trip. Delicious.

• The third night Ms. Kristin babysat again, and the rest of us went to the rodeo. It was raining really hard and Ms. Kristin was kind enough to lend us her car, since the Jeep had a window out. The seats for the rodeo were stadium style and covered, though, so the rain wasn't a problem once we got there. I got to see the every end of mutton busting, and then all the rest. Jack was really into it, cheering super loud. Neil and Everett were cracking jokes the whole time, and Harrison and Rocket were goofing around behind us and laughing pretty hard. It was a lot of fun.

Rodeo selfie.

• After we got back from the rodeo, Neil, Ellen, Everett, Jill, Sola and I played the paper game. It was Sola's first time, and she did a great job. Her drawings were hilarious and her descriptions included details she inferred herself, which always makes the game better. Even though we were all kind of tired, we had a lot of fun reading the results, and we played two games.

7.6.15 - MO Summer Trip

Jack, Clara, and I went back to MO for a quick few days to see everyone, and to let everyone meet Clara. The trip was chaotic because it was too short and we were trying to get visits in with everyone. Still, it was also fun. In no particular order, my joys from the trip:

• Clara did well on both flights to MO, sleeping a lot and not fussing much.
• Mom picked us up from the airport and she brought Neil with her, and she thoughtfully packed us a bunch of food to eat on the ride home.

Early in the morning, getting ready to fly out.

• Zoey was very interested in Clara and treated Clara very sweetly.

Zoey and Clara.

• I got to see Julie's new house and she gave us a tour. Also got to enjoy sibling time at the house and a bunch of junk food Mom bought.
• Jack and I stayed with his parents, and Merlene made us many delicious meals, including tortellini, taco salad, blueberry muffins for breakfast, etc.j
• Don and Merlene's living room couches are so comfy. I'd almost rather sleep on those than in a bed.
• I found time to go to Picasso's with Julie, and we got to sit in the decorative chairs just like old times.

• We had time to see Grandma and Grandpa for a few hours, at their house, which is nostalgic to me. Also Grandma made cherry pineapple dump cake, and it was amazing.

4 generations!

• We found time to visit Mom every day we were there, so she got some good cuddle time in with Clara.
• The weather was relatively cool and even rainy, which is so great for us from dry, dry California.
• Clara got to meet her cousin Naomi, and Jack and I joked with Aaron and Katie about Clara and Naomi being rivals. It was hilarious.
• Dave got to meet Clara and seemed to like her.

• Merlene introduced me to The Big Bang Theory and it actually was pretty funny.
• We had great weather for Sugar Creek winery and I got a nice buzz going.
• I took a break at Sugar Creek to go the car and pump, and while there I had a good PM convo with an old FB friend who is having a hard time. It made me grateful for technology all over again.
• Being a new parent gives me so much to talk about with other new parents. I had a lot of great visiting with Missy, and with Katie too.
• I got to talk one-on-one with my father-in-law more than I think I ever have before when he and I happened to both be awake early.
• Clara got used to sleeping in a pack and play in Don and Merlene's office, despite a rough first night.
• Don and Merlene got a lot of good visiting and cuddle time in with Clara.
• Jack had time to play Resistance with his and my brothers.
• He also had time to visit with some of his very old friends, including Ian and Chris.
• Jack's family managed to drive up from southern IL to meet Clara.

• That includes Clara meeting her namesake, Jack's paternal grandmother.
• Don and Merlene got some amazing photos of Clara and Naomi together. Some of the photos look downright professional.
• I got to see Eddie and Elisabeth briefly, and we laughed a lot playing 5 Crowns.
• Clara finally rolled onto her back, and though I wasn't in the room when it happened, apparently everyone cheered as if it were a sports event.

6.8.15 - June Colorado visit

Clara and I went to visit Dad, Jill, and the kids for a weekend. I was nervous about traveling alone with Clara but overall it was fine. On the flight out she slept through check-in and security, woke up long enough to eat a bunch and get changed, then slept from takeoff until baggage claim! I couldn't have asked for more.

Jill picked us up and I enjoyed a visit with her on the ride back to Dad's house. Then Sola and Harrison finally got to meet Clara. Sola in particular was delighted, and I told her she could kiss Clara's cheeks as often as she liked as long as Clara didn't fuss about it. She took full advantage of that, haha.

The trip was short but sweet. It was nice for the grandparents (and Sola) to get to enjoy taking care of Clara. It's also always nice the kind of food they have at Dad's: skinny cow ice creams and full fat fruity yogurts and goldfish crackers and pistachios and all sorts of things I love.

My favorite part of the trip were the times when we would sit on the front porch for hours visiting. Their neighborhood is beautiful in the summer: so many huge green trees all along the street and so many houses with picket fences. The adults would sit and sip drinks and eat snacks and watch the kids play with bikes and dogs and the fountain and so on. We (the adults) would also take turns holding Clara and letting her sleep on us, and she seemed quite content with all of it.

Even this afternoon before I left for the airport, Dad and I sat on the porch swing chatting while Clara dozed and the other kids played with water guns and the fountain. It was so pleasant.

On the trip back I had probably half a dozen strangers remark at what a good baby Clara is. Those remarks make me feel so lucky, because I feel like it's just Clara's personality, more than training from Jack or me.

And then Jack was waiting for us at the airport when we got back. He couldn't wait to hold Clara and talk to her again. <3 So lucky to have him as husband and dad. He's in the other room right now just hanging out with her while she coos.

12.25.14 - Christmas Day!

I woke up earlier than everyone except Mom, which I seem to usually do when visiting home. I hung out with her one-on-one for awhile. She made everyone eggs, bacon, and buttered bread and set out a bowl of clementines. It kind of reminded me of the breakfast in Little Women ("Isn't butter divinity??")

Grandma and her mini-me.

Neil, Ellen, and Everett got up one by one and we all started helping with the list Mom had printed of cleaning to get done before the party. It was pretty easy with so much help. Neil and I had a rousing conversation about one of the best movies ever, Warrior, while I was cleaning the kitchen and he was cleaning the living room. We got everything done with an hour to spare before people started coming over. It was a relatively stress-free set up. 

The festive red-and-green couple.

Most of Mom's family ended up coming over. There was a brief moment of panic (secretly, just for Everett and me) when Grandma didn't bring cheesy potatoes, but it turned out Uncle Mark had it covered. Whew. And Mike & Laura brought their pasta house salad, which I love. So much good food. 

Mistletoe kisses with the kiddies.

Zoey and Damien play as a team with the elliptical.

I chatted with people in the living room and basement for awhile, but eventually I settled in the living room to play 5 Crowns with Everett, Ellen, and Mom (I think). After a couple rounds we dealt Uncle Mark in, and later Mom wanted to play with Zoey so Linda took Mom's place. It was a great game--Ellen and Mark were neck-and-neck for most of it, and Mark was pretty into it, which we appreciate. Everett was losing terribly the entire time, but he was a good sport about it, and it made it funny every time I read the scores in order because he was always so far behind. 

Neil can't take all the excitement.

Playing or at least watching 5 Crowns.

Not long before the game ended, we were surprised by a visit from not only our cousin Suzanne, but also our cousins Andy and Angela and their spouses. I went in the basement and talked with them for awhile, and it was really enjoyable.

Throughout the day people remarked on Clara, insisted I look fabulous, and asked if they could touch my belly. Strange to think next time I see most of them I'll have a baby in hand.

Finally got Everett & Ellen to really smile by taking a pic behind my huge stomach.

Everyone wants to hold the baby.

I know Jack got to Skype with his family, and I did get to talk to him for a bit that night, though we were both kind of tired. Overall it was a pretty nice day.

12.23.14 - Picasso's & G&G's

I borrowed Everett's car and picked up Julie from Mel's house. I saw Zoey briefly, and when she saw my purse she asked me for "dum" (gum). I don't have any--she must associate gum with purses because of Ja-Ma. She didn't seem to believe me so I let her look suspiciously in my purse, haha.

Then it was a short drive to Main Street on a not-too-chilly day to have a soy Chai latte (Julie) and a Mona Snicker mocha (me) while sitting at the bar and watching people out the window.

The mocha, with the foam leaf and some whipped cream!

We don't get a chance to visit one-on-one much, both because we live in different states and, nowadays, because she has two kids that keep her pretty busy. It was nice to just sit and talk, mostly about families and marriage, since we increasingly share the two as major issues in our lives.

Julie is so happy to be at Picasso's! And back in St. Charles.

I love that Julie and I have made Picasso's a tradition. It's such an enjoyable coffee house with coffee-themed remakes of famous works of art and a cozy atmosphere and delicious food. Plus Main Street in general is pretty cute and it was nice to get to see at least a bit of it. But mostly I'm glad we have a tradition that allows us to get some one-on-one time.

After dropping Julie back off, I stopped by Mom's for a quick bite and then went to Grandma and Grandpa's for another one-on-one (or two-on-one?) visit. The last two years I've visited with them for close to 5 hours, which I've really enjoyed, but this year I had other stuff I needed to try to get done so I only ("only") stayed for 3 hours. It was still really nice. 

We just sat in the front room--I got to sit in their new, incredibly comfy TV chair complete with cup holders--and we chatted the whole time. At one point Clara was moving and Grandma got to feel her kick 3-4 times! That was delightful. I also notice I love telling them and other people stories about Jack either being funny or sweet and supportive. And I love when I can really make someone laugh, especially someone who doesn't normally laugh a lot (Mom doesn't count--she's so easy. :-P)

9.18.14 - My Sept CO visit

Before Dad started renting out his house in SF, he and Jill and Rocket would visit every month or so and I could just drive down and see them. Now they never come out, so I went to CO for a visit. As a bonus, that means I got to visit Julie et al as well and meet my new nephew, Malcolm!

D'awwww

I had chances to visit one-on-one with Dad, Jill, and Julie at different times, which was great. I got to enjoy the front porch swing in beautiful (read: not flippin' 100 degree) weather and see the leaves just  start to turn in CO. I also got a whole bunch of new (to me), free maternity clothes from Julie, plus I bought  afew additional ones at the local thrift shop. I am sitting here as I write this feeling very comfortable in stretchy shorts.

During one of the days of the trip Mom was in MO throwing Jack and me a long-distance house warming party. I got to Skype with her and Merlene and Aunts Teresa and Linda. It was really fun. I showed them my baby bump and they flipped over it, that was hilarious. For awhile Zoey skyped with us too and Mom showed her all her toys waiting at Ja-ma's house, and Zoey named the colors of different puzzle pieces. She's such a cutie.

It was great to see all the kids, too. One evening Sola read to me (and Harrison and Rocket) from the Calvin and Hobbes book I got her for her birthday this year. She does all the voices, it's great.

Jill picked me up and dropped me off on the 1.5 hour drive to the airport. We got to talk (I got to talk) the whole way, and it's always nice to get one-on-one time with Jill when Dad and I don't completely overtake the conversation. 

After she dropped me off I went to check my bag and the car seat Julie & Denny had given us. The baggage guy saw the empty carseat and asked, "Did you lose your baby?" I smiled and rubbed my stomach and said "The baby's right here!" He laughed. "Oh so you're just getting ready, saving a few bucks." "Yep." "So when do you get to meet your little friend?" "March 1st! And we find out the gender in 3 weeks." And he just smiled. I asked, "So do you have kids?" And he said "No...not yet!" But he seemed very happy. It was a really enjoyable conversation.

I have a few cute kid anecdotes but I think I'll save those for a separate post.

Wedding Joys - Leading up to the wedding.