2020 Christmas at home

Clara was excited to carefully arrange the Christmas cookies, carrots, and glass of milk for Santa. She had even picked out a specific spot on the kitchen table where the plate should go. 

When I put the kids to bed, after I told them I loved them I said "Merry Christmas Eve!" thereafter for the half a dozen times or so I had to go back in there each time I left Clara would say it to me again.

Around 9:30 she got up to use the bathroom and I had to walk her through washing her hands and going back to bed. As she was leaving the bathroom she poked her head in the living room very quickly, and of course it looked exactly as it did an hour or so ago when we put them to bed. She complained that Santa hadn't come yet. I pointed out that she hasn't even gone to sleep yet. We have told her many times that Santa won't come if she's awake. She asked if he would come very very quickly as soon as she fell asleep. I think she thinks the moment she falls asleep, he will appear.

I set my alarm for 1am and Jack and I got up then to put out presents. It was fun playing Santa with him. I was actually pretty nervous that Clara would wake up and peek. We were careful to put out all the non-Santa presents first just in case. Then we tried to quickly stuff the stockings (I guess we've decided in this house that's a Santa thing), out out the Santa presents, and eat 80% of the milk and cookies (we just put the carrots back in the fridge). Not a creature stirred.

The next morning I waited impatiently for the girls to wake up. As usual Calvin woke up first, but I didn't want to just be hanging out with him in the living room when the girls got up. I wanted them to be the ones to "discover" that Santa had come. I brought Calvin into our room with Jack and me and he dozed some more. I lied awkwardly on the edge of the bed to give him room without letting him roll off of it and I tried to do things on my phone. Of course on this day the girls slept in more than usual.

Still, eventually I heard them get up, and they came into our room and Clara shouted "Mom and Dad, IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Then she looked down the hallway to the kitchen table and saw some milk and cookies still left, and I could tell for a moment she thought no one had eaten them. She had a little frown and said "Wait a second..." and walked toward them, but then she saw they were mostly gone and got really excited. Then she turned and saw the presents. It was magical.

I told the kids they could open one gift each and then we were going to get dressed in our Christmas outfits. I've really come around to how important ritual--including specific clothing--can be to making something feel special, plus I wanted to have a lot of cute photos. The girls were excited to put on their dresses and Clara asked that Jack not come in the nursery so she could surprise him with her beautiful dress. I told Clara she looked absolutely beautiful and she smiled and said "Yes. I do!"

They were also thrilled to take the last chain off the Christmas countdown chain and Clara jumped up and down when I said "It's finally Christmas!"

We went back out to open more gifts, and I enjoyed how they wanted to stop and play with each gift rather than tear through all of them at once. We paused present opening a few times to let them play, and it was nice to know we have nowhere else we have to be and can take all the time we want. They stopped for awhile to check out Clara's stencil set in particular.

At some point we called Grandma Wiseman to thank her for her gifts, and Clara was happy to take the phone and chat with Grandma about how we made cookies and left them for Santa and how he ate most of them, and about how when we woke up there were so many presents.

This year Jack and I separately took the girls to Dollar Tree to buy gifts for each parent, and it was so sweet to see how excited they were for us to open our gifts. They got me slippers, two coffe mugs that said mom, and some fake yellow flowers. Clara informed me I could use those the next time I marry Jack. They got Jack a calculator (which Jane thought was a phone), some pens, a magnetic notebook, and other items I was hoping he could actually use. 

When we had opened all the presents, Jack helped clean up and I made "Santa pancakes" which just involves using whipped cream and strawberries to make the pancakes look like Santa faces. Clara was very excited to watch. Calvin ate a lot of Jane's Santa pancake while she was in the bathroom, so I said I could help her make a new one. This time she wanted only the whipped cream, so her Santa had no hat or eyes or nose or mouth, just a beard. But she was happy with it.

One of the girls' stocking gifts was nail polish. I painted their nails and put a 5 minute time on to let them dry. But for Jane, even 20 minutes later she was still holding her hands carefully and hesitatingly touching things. She kept looking at her fingernails and admiring them, it was pretty cute.

I spent the rest of the day on and off helping the kids learn about their new gifts and cooking for a fancy dinner. I made cheesy "bread" (mostly chopped cauliflower), a cheesy sun dried tomato Brussels sprout bake, and cranberry bliss bars. At some point during all this, our neighbor Gana came by and offered us a bowl of potato salad to wish us Merry Christmas, which was so sweet especially since she doesn't really celebrate Christmas. Later I left her a tupperware container of cranberry bliss bars and a card in return.

While I was cooking I video chatted with Mom for awhile. She was at Julie and Denny's but took a break to talk to me about how our days were going. I propped the phone on the counter so I could cook while talking to her and it was a nice little visit.

Before dinner we Skyped with the Jacksons to do our virtual letter exchange. Don & Merlene outdid themselves this year by making every letter a rhyming poem. I also think it's sweet that they write individual letters to not only Jack and me but also each of our kids. Aaron and Katie's letter had a part about how much they appreciate my SPL work, which meant a lot to me.

Dinner was also great. Both Jack and Calvin seems to really enjoy it. Clara mostly just ate the Costco rotisserie chicken but that's okay. Jane seems to like everything except the Brussels sprouts. I was just proud to have put a whole dinner together, and a little exhausted. We also had just enough wine left for one glass, which Jack gave to me.

At the end of the evening all three kids got to try their ultra soft robes from Mimi and Gpa, and the girls got to check out their reading lamps Jama had gotten them. 

12.24.20 - Christmas Eve kid snippets

Clara: We need to get a kitty
Me: We are not getting a kitty
Clara: But Mom! People need kitties!

Clara made a small mistake on her drawing. She muttered in frustration "This is freaking embarrassing!"

Clara wanted to put more ornaments on the tree. We have a bunch but no hooks, so I told her we have to put string on them to hang them up. She was fine with it but then she wanted to be a puppy. She would not respond to me if I said "Clara"; I had to say "puppy." Also she was trying to manipulate the ornaments only with her mouth. So it became a more long-term project.

Earlier today Clara used the bathroom, and when I asked her whether she had washed her hands she said she had when I knew she hadn't. So she got in trouble for lying and there were some tears (hers, not mine). Just now she used the bathroom and I asked her whether she had washed her hands.
Clara: ...no
Me: Okay, go wash your hands.
Clara: Okay. AND I'm not lying!!

She has also recently been having a problem with yelling when she's angry. We are working on using her words better. But just now:
Clara (yelling): WHERE are the PENCILS?
Me: They're right here on the counter. What did we say about yelling?
Clara (calm): I'm not yelling. I'm just shouting.

Jack took the girls to get Christmas presents for me.
Clara: Can you tell me something Mommy likes?
Jack: Mommy likes…you.
Clara: Noooo! I don't want to be inside a present!

12.23.20 - Joy status: looking forward to Christmas day

Despite having to change all of our original plans, I'm happy and relieved to realize I'm really looking forward to Christmas Day.

In order to keep Christmas feeling special, we are still going to dress up the kids. Calvin doesn't care, but the girls are excited about their fancy Christmas dresses - Jane has a velvety green one, and Clara has a chiffon kind of red one. I'm sure I will get lots of pictures.

I also went ahead and planned a menu, which is saying something for me because I really basically never cook. For food ideas I asked what everyone was doing for Christmas dinner in a group for parents of kids with celiac, and I was very impressed and slightly intimidated by the many ideas people gave me. We are going to do Santa pancakes, which I learned are basically pancakes where you use strawberries and whipped cream to make a Santa hat and beard. For dinner I'm getting a Costco chicken (so delicious, so easy), and then I'm going to make a Brussels sprout cheese bake and a cauliflower parmesan "bread" with marinara dipping sauce. Also planning to make cranberry bliss bars for dessert--for some reason cranberries just seem very holiday appropriate. The girls, especially Clara, really like to "help" me cook, and prepping for an end-of-day meal will make the day feel more like an event.

On top of that we have never before done the thing where the kids wake up Christmas morning to a bunch of presents that weren't there the night before. I think they will flip.

It's going to be a good day.

12.20.20 - Joy status: video readings with Jane

Joy Inventory and kid snippets: every night that I've been out of town, I video chat with the kids before bed. And every night Jane very proudly shows me and reads to me If You Take a Mouse to the Movies. (She has the whole book memorized so she can "read" it to me.) Adorable.

12.16.20 - Taking the girls to get gifts for Jack

I thought it would be good practice for the kids to give gifts to Jack and me. I don't want to actually spend a lot of time or money on it though, lol. So today I took the girls to the Dollar Tree. 

It's only about 4 minutes from where we live, but they really enjoy when I mount my phone to the dashboard and let them watch our progress on Google maps. Clara kept asking if we were going to the Christmas store, And whether they had 100,000 or a million presents. I told her we were going to a store that had a lot of Christmas supplies though possibly not 100,000. 

When we got there they enjoyed looking at a lot of the Christmas stuff that's up front. I had to explain to them many times over that we were looking for gifts for their dad, not for them. Clara wanted to buy a gift for her teddy bear, Bobo. She was a lot more interested in that than finding a gift for Jack. I tried to avoid the toy aisle, because I knew they would get distracted with what they wanted. Jane noticed calculators in the office supply aisle (she thought they were phones), so she picked one of those out for Jack. I convinced Clara to pick a magnetic notepad and some nice pens and Jane also chose a headset.

Jane considered getting Jack a little doll set. She said he'd like it.

Then we went to the Christmas card section and they each picked out one for him. Clara's was one of the ones that's supposed to hold cash, although of course she doesn't know that. Jane's was one addressed to someone's son with love.

I brought cash just for the occasion, and I had each girl check out separately so they could each hand the dollars to the cashier. When Clara got her change she jumped up and down and giggled in excitement.  Jane did not notice as much, because she was more interested in all the example balloons on display beyond the cash registers. 

On the way home both girls talked a lot about The change Clara had, which they called monies.  Clara dropped a coin and said she had three monies and now she only has two monies. Jane reassured her that they would find it together. Jane is so sweet and attentive to Clara sometimes. Clara was excited to get home to put the coins in our coin jars in the kitchen.

When we got home we busted out some of the brand new Christmas wrapping paper I recently bought, as well as ribbons and to/from tags. Clara helped cut the wrapping paper, and she and Jane each chose the color ribbons for their respective gifts. They watched with great interest and anticipation each time I filled out a tag to Jack from one of them. Calvin participated by walking all over the wrapping paper and trying to take supplies from us the whole time we were using them. And also at one point he kept hitting the wrapping paper with a fork. But he tends to stay content if he feels like he gets to be involved. As we finished wrapping each gift, the daughter it was from would go put it under our Christmas tree.

Once we were done with all of it, I found a small box for Clara to put a stuffed monkey in to give as a gift to Bobo. I had tried to tell her that Bobo is a stuffed animal, and stuffed animals don't get gifts. She responded that Bobo is a person, and should have a gift. Then she referred to him as "person Bobo" as we discussed it. Anyway Jack helped her wrap the gift for Bobo.

Since then Jane and Clara but especially Jane have asked me multiple times when we are going to open the presents. We keep explaining it won't happen until Christmas, but that doesn't stop them from asking. Clara said it's taking a long time.

12.16.20 - Kid snippets - Clara's puzzle strength

The girls have been really enjoying this website (https://im-a-puzzle.com/) for online puzzles. Mostly they've chosen the easiest level (9 pieces) but suddenly today Clara declared she wants to try the "supreme" level (49 pieces). So we set it up for a cartoon elephant puzzle, and as soon as she saw all the pieces:

Clara: Oh no no no, it's too many!
Me: I think you can do it. Why don't you try?
Clara: Ok. I will do all these puzzles and see what the elephant looks like. I'm not going to be tired about this! I'm going to BE STRONG! *Strikes a pose and flexes her arms, to the extent a 5 year old girl can do that.

Most of the time Jane uses the bathroom she slams the toilet lid, despite me repeatedly telling her to be gentler/quieter. Just a bit ago she did it again.

Me: Honey, *don't slam the lid*!
Jane: But I swammed it care-foe-we!

Kids "help" me wrap their Dollar Tree Christmas gifts for Jack.

12.13.20 - At-home Polar Express

 Yesterday the Jackson cousins were going to have a polar Express party at Donna Marlene's. We were originally going to skip it. Then they asked us if we wanted to video chat with them live. I considered saying no because I didn't want my kids to see a party going on that they couldn't go to. But then I decided we could just have our own party and enjoy it with them long distance. 

So I brought home some large boxes from work, and yesterday the girls and I spent between four and five hours turning those boxes into our own miniature polar Express for them to sit in while watching the movie. in retrospect the process of making the train was probably as much if not more fun for them as the actual watch party. Clara in particular had a lot of input and was excited to add glue to construction paper. They both were excited to press the construction paper onto the box. I also sketched out the words "The polar Express" in fancy lettering and then Clara traced over it with a purple crayon. It was a long but pretty fun project and I was really happy with the result.

The train was done a few hours before the movie, and the kids got to play with it plenty. Clara put a cap on jingle Bear and have him sit in the engine and be the engineer. She also wrote hers and her siblings names on each of their respective train cars. 

We dressed the kids and ourselves in St Louis blues pajamas as an homage to last year's polar Express. We gave the kids bowls of zebra popcorn and Jack made them hot chocolate. We let the girls drink theirs out of the polar Express mugs with straws. Then we video chatted with the Jacksons for probably 10 or 15 minutes and it was pretty adorable. The cousins took turns showing each other their polar Express setups. Marlene had made a train of boxes also for because the cousins to sit in. The girls were excited to show our train and our little people Nativity set and our mugs. The cousins washed it all with appropriate interest and showed their treasures too. 

When it was time to watch the movie we turned off all the lights except for the Christmas lights. I gave the kids blankets to have in their respective train cars. Of course Calvin didn't last long before he tipped right out of his, and eventually Jane was too nervous with the creepy parts of the movie and wanted to sit with Jack and me on the couch. But Clara stayed in her caboose the entire time.

I think the best moment was right before the movie was starting and Clara could not contain her excitement. She kept saying she was so excited and stimming and even holding her breath a little bit. That alone might have made it worth it to me.

And as a bonus I even was able to write a lot of my Christmas cards while they were watching the movie. 

12.11.20 - Stocking glitter and Holiday Lights

Today was unexpectedly pleasant. It's just a random Friday, but we had a lot of nice little Christmas moments.

First of all, Don and Merlene sent us a Little People nativity set. The kids had a lot of fun playing with it today. The best part was how Clara and Jane play together and acted out stories with each other using the figurines. 

While Calvin was napping, the girls and I added glitter names to all of our stockings. It was a relaxing project for me since I didn't have to manage Calvin at the same time, and the girls seems to find it all pretty magical since of involved glitter. Clara said it looks like fairy dust. Jane whispered more than once that "it's beautiful."

When we were done with that, Clara wanted to write a letter to Santa. Not long prior she had been telling Jack and me about how Santa was going to bring her a Peppa pig doll. So as she dictated a letter to me for Santa, I kept trying to get her to tell him what she wants for Christmas. But she just didn't want to because she was more interested in telling him what we've been doing around the house to prepare for Christmas, such as adding names to the stockings. After I wrote out her thoughts, she signed herself and added some Christmas doodles at the bottom. She also was excited to put a stamp on the envelope. 

Then tonight we took all three kids for a drive-thru Christmas light experience. It's the first year they've done this, and I imagine it was partly in response to the pandemic. No one had to leave their cars to experience it. Jack found some caramel chocolate popcorn on sale at Costco, so we brought that and drinks with us and slowly drove through all of the different displays. At one point about two thirds in was a live Santa to wave to everyone. Clara really love that. Both the girls seemed to really enjoy all of the lights. Jack and I enjoyed seeing which corporate sponsors designed which displays. For example one display was a reindeer driving a monster truck trying to run over a grandma in a walker. The sponsor was a senior assisted living home, lol. The organizers have volunteers give out candy canes for all the children in the cars, and they also broadcast Christmas music on an FM station for everybody. It was a really pleasant little outing.

12.11.20 - Kid snippets - Clara's diplomacy skills

Don & Merlene sent us a Little People nativity set and all the kids are excited to play with it. Clara got it all set up but Calvin kept trying to take pieces off the table. Clara would yell at him, and then I'd remind her she has to share and to give him some pieces, which she did--very begrudgingly.

At one point when Clara wasn't watching, Calvin scattered several pieces across the living room. Clara commanded Jane to retrieve each piece, and Jane was content to be part of the action. But once they had the whole set together again:

Clara: Okay, Jane, you can go play something else if you want.
Jane: But I want to play with you.
Me: *glares at Clara*
Clara: ...Oh sure...but if you *want* to play something else...just let me know!
Jane: Okay!
Clara: How about if I play with this and you watch me?
Jane: Okay!

Clara's diplomacy skills are slowly improving.

12.9.20 - Joy status: SERI Christmas luncheon

I was sick last week and my lab rescheduled our Christmas luncheon just so I could be here for it. We had it today, and first did Secret Santa. It was pretty cool seeing what everyone got each other and watching people try to guess who thought of each gift. Whoever had our boss bought him the world's tiniest violin so he could hand it to people when they complain to him, lol. We also ordered Italian food to be catered to the lab. We didn't actually all sit and eat together because of our covid protocols but I did get to work on a puzzle in our newly finished "meditation room" while enjoying eggplant parmesan, and it was very relaxing.

12.7.20 - Kid snippets - trying to make Christmas cards

I'm trying to help the girls write some Christmas cards. Clara keeps saying we are going to "envelope them" (mail them) to people. Jane has spent all her time so far discussing who she will send cards to, but refuses to actually open a card and draw anything in it. Calvin is banished to the nursery, where Jack is trying to distract him so he stops pulling art supplies off the table.

So far we have completed one card.

12.31.19 - joy statuses

12.25.19 - Highlights of the Missouri Christmas Trip

Sadly as life gets increasingly busy I have less and less time to update my blog and remember all the good memories, but I suppose having too many good memories to track is a good problem to have. In any case I didn't take any notes of this Christmas trip in real time, so I'm now retrospectively (and hopefully quickly) going to mark the best memories.

In contrast with years prior, this time our trip all preceded and ended with Christmas. I really enjoyed that because (1) it gave us more time to enjoy the Christmas season while on vacation in Missouri and (2) it meant the trip ended on a high note, rather than the ho-hum feeling of the week after Christmas and before New Year's.

Also in contrast with previous trips, none of the kids got sick at all during the entire trip. That alone made it much more enjoyable. As a corollary all three of them slept pretty well almost every night, meaning Jack and I also got decent sleep, which of course makes everything better.

As another bonus, the girls are now at an age (especially Clara) where they can really get excited about holidays. This was true for 2019 with the 4th of July (fireworks, popcorn), Halloween (pumpkin patch, Trunk or Treat) and now the Christmas season. Here's a short list of all the Christmas-themed events they got to participate in:

• 12/13 - Arrive in STL, help decorate Mimi's Christmas tree.
• 12/14 - Santa Pancake breakfast at Connection Church (including gluten free pancakes, Charlie Brown's Christmas on the big screen, story time and pictures with Santa, and Christmas karaoke)
• 12/15 - Snowed in at Mimi and Gpa's, got to try on winter gear, explore the snow, ride around in a toboggan in the front yard, watch Jack make a Blues fan snow man, and then come inside for hot chocolate!
• 12/18 - Polar Express! Cookies, cocoa, dancing, silver bells, and all while decked out in Blues pajamas.
• 12/19 - Sledding in the morning in Mimi's backyard. Christmas light shows that night. I didn't get to do this one because I was having sushi dinner with Neil and Everett, however the kids went with Jack, Mimi, and Gpa to see two shows: one at the Church on Mexico and another at a private house all decked out.
• 12/20 - St. Charles Christmas Traditions - collecting the cards of Christmas characters such as Sugar Plum Fairy and Jack Frost, all while enjoying essentially Christmas town, with the jingle bell horse-drawn carriages, carolers along the streets, tons of decor, and at one point watching a violinist play beautiful carolers and giving her a dollar.
• 12/22 - Christmas Cookie Party at Aunt Linda's and Christmas at the Jackson's. Dinner, Christmas story, gifts and stockings, letters to Santa.
• 12/24 - Christmas at Jama's. Homemade gluten free cinnamon roll toast, more gifts, and cousins to play with.

There were many wonderful moments and I wish I could detail them all, but possibly my favorite was during the snow day on Sunday, 12/15. In general I dislike snow, and this snow was falling heavy and meant we weren't going to the much anticipated Christmas Cookie Party at Aunt Linda's, so I was pretty annoyed when I heard about it. I'd also expected to have an hour to two to myself while Jack took the kids to church, and at first he was considering skipping it because of the winter storm warnings. However all worked out. The snow wasn't going to hit until a little later so he took them after all and I still got time for a shower and a nap (the luxuries!) Then Linda let us know she was going to have a Cookie Day Part Deux the next week, so we weren't missing out on that after all. But easily the best part was watching the kids, especially Clara, experience the snow.

Merlene had run out and gotten both girls snow boots, mittens, and hats. Clara was excited to put on her winter wear. Jane wanted to follow Clara's lead, but was also really irritated about all the stuff we kept adding to her outfit, resulting in perhaps the best picture I took all year:

The snow was still falling heavily when they got outside, and I captured some very sweet videos of the quiet interest they had. 

Calvin was sleeping peacefully in the cozy house, and I stayed with him, but Jack got busy building a (Blues fan) snowman and Don and Merlene got busy finding something suitable for a sled. At first Jane tried the makeshift bucket sled and fell face first into the snow pretty quickly. She was so upset, and I thought for sure she'd retreat to the house with me, but to my surprise she chose to stick it out (as long as someone was holding her). So Don carried Jane in one arm and pulled Mimi and Clara in another in the toboggan. I really enjoyed watching their wonder and joy...from the warmth of the house with Piano Guy Christmas music on in the background. Then there was a moment--blissfully captured on video--when Clara looked to me in the window and waved and said "hi Mom!" I don't know how to explain why but that just elated me. It felt like I was watching across time, from years in the future, a treasured memory of my sweet little girl enjoying a new experience. I've said before that sometimes parenting feels like heartbreak but out of happiness instead of sorrow, and this was one of those moments. I felt elated, and that may have best moment of an already pretty great trip. I would not have expected that from snow.

Absent more time to record all the other great moments, here are some favorite pics (of the MANY great pics I got thanks to Henry giving me his Pixel 3, which has a great camera):

At SMF waiting for our plane.

On the way to Santa Pancake breakfast.

Clara spontaneously ran up to hug Santa, and the photographer captured it. <3

Calvin meets Myrna.

Snowfall over a couple hours.

Hiding out behind the Christmas tree.

On our way to the Polar Express.

About to meet Christmas characters in Old Town St. Charles.

Mike treated us to dinner at Bellweather, and it was lovely.

Gpa and Mimi made gluten free tortellini.