10.29.21 - Kid snippets: sometimes Jane kicks and bites

Clara: Jane do you want help cleaning the living room or do you want to do it by yourself?
Jane: Oh! You can help me.
Clara: Yeah do you know why I want to help you? Because you are my best sister ever!
Jane: Yeah. But sometimes I kick you and bite you.

10.23.21 - Kid snippets: Calvin's plate is empty

Calvin thinks he should be able to leave the table as soon as his plate is empty, even if it's only empty because he took all the food off of it and put it on the table.

10.22.21 - Kid snippets: Clara will live to 162

Clara (6yo): When am I going to be grown up?
Monica: Well you're legally an adult when you're 18 years old, although you'll still have more things to learn after that.
Clara: Nooooo. I'm going to grow up when I'm 162 years!!
Monica: Okay.
Clara: And I'm very smart, I know everything.
Monica: Okay.

10.20.21 - Kid snippets: Jane wants to be called "Maybe"

I recently introduced Jane to "Call Me Maybe," and she *loves* it. She keeps requesting that we listen to her "girl song." We've listened to it a lot this week and we were dancing to it tonight. Now she's requesting I no longer call her "Jane" and instead refer to her as "Maybe."

10.18.21 - Kid snippets: Ruby's learning book

Ruby isn't due until next April, but Clara is already creating a "learning book" of shapes and numbers and ABCs for her.

10.17.21 - Kid snippets: Jane's fresh breath

Every night after Jane brushes her teeth she wants to breathe in my face so I can see that her breath smells nice.

10.8.21 - Kid snippets: when to take out the ice

My kids and their cousins are sitting down to dinner together.

Me: Clara don't stick your hand in your drink.
Clara: I just want to get the ice.
Me: No that's not how you do it.
Josiah (cousin, 4yo): You drink all the water, THEN you take out the ice.

10.7.21 - Kid snippets: dancing to Can't Help Falling In Love

Tonight I tried to show the kids the second half of Labyrinth but for the most part they wouldn't stop doing other things, whining about stupid crap, and interrupting the movie. It was not what I'd hoped for.

But when it was over, Jane asked me if we could dance to lovely songs. So I put on the Elvis Presley version of "Can't Help Falling in Love" and the whole family danced to it three times. During one iteration, I held Calvin in my arms and danced with him while Jack did the same with Clara, and Jane twirled in her pretty dress between us all. It was pretty fantastic.

I think feeling that range of irritation to joy in the span of barely an hour is quintessential parenting.

10.4.21 - Kid snippets: What Calvin is thankful for

I asked the kids what they're thankful for.

Clara: I'm thankful for [lists every family member]
Jane: I'm thankful for every single day of the month, and I'm thankful for [also lists every family member].
Calvin: I tankful...boo, geen, yewwow, red, puhple

10.3.21 - Kid snippets: I have NEVER heard that before

I'm baking a pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting for Jack's birthday.

Clara: "pumpkin cake"? I thought it was pumpkin pie!
Me: No, it's a cake.
Clara: That doesn't make any sense!
Me: Why not?
Clara: Because "pumpkin cake" aren't real words. It's pumpkin pie.
Me: You can have a lot of pumpkin things. You can have pumpkin ice cream, or pumpkin cake, or pumpkin cupcakes, or pumpkin pie. Lots of things can have pumpkin.
Clara (6 yo): I have NEVER heard that before.

10.2.21 - Kid snippets: Jane spends the night at Jama's

Tonight is Jane's (my 4 yo's) first time spending the night by herself at Jama's house. I asked her a couple times throughout the week if she wanted to do it and she always said yes. We packed a tiny little backpack with her overnight stuff and when we got to the house she wanted to wear it for the very brief walk from our car to the front door. Then she kept the backpack on in the house and made sure that everyone saw that she had her backpack for spending the night.

We all stayed for dinner. When it was time for me to take the other two kids home I thought maybe Jane would be nervous. She definitely was not. She was happy for us to leave haha. She gave everyone a big hug and enthusiastically told us goodbye. Then, even though it was only about 7:00, she told Jama she was going to go put on her pajamas and brush her teeth to be ready to spend the night.

I'm very happy we live here so that my kids can have this one-on-one time with their grandparents and my shy girl in particular can get some undivided attention.

9.22.21 - Kid snippets: Clara knows a joke

Clara: I know a joke!
Me: If it's about poop I don't want to hear it
Clara: Nooo! It's not about poop.
Me: Okay
Clara: I know how to spell "mouse." It's M-O-U-S. Now say "What's the last letter?"
Me: What's the last letter?
Clara: A tail!! That's a joke!!

(It's supposed to be "What's at the end?")

9.12.21 - Kid snippets: Clara already knows everything

The first week of school was complete and Clara still had to go back the following Monday.

Clara: How long do I have to keep doing this?
Me: Oh a long long time. All of your childhood and most of the time you are a teenager too. Get used to it because it's going to be many years.
Clara: But why do I have to go to school so much?
Me: Well there are a whole lot of things you'll learn that will help you get ready to be a grown up.
Clara: I already know what I need to know! I know math and ABCs and can read!
Me: There is actually going to be even more than that.

In other news today Jane used my mom's set of play dishes and tiny little table and chairs to make a pretend dinner for Clara and me. She even used all of her strength to pull a full size chair over for me since I can't sit in the children's chairs. Then she let us know that her and my empty plates were filled with gluten food and Clara's had gluten-free food. Then she happily poured us what she told us was coffee and we all pretended to eat together and she was thrilled.

And finally, just in the last week Calvin has started actually giving me kisses upon request instead of gleefully shouting no and running away.

9.11.21 - Kid snippets: Ya wah-come

Calvin: Mah-eee, look!
Me: Oh you stacked the puzzle pieces in a tower. That's cool!
Calvin, very proud: Ya wah-come!

9.6.21 - Kid snippets: Clara gives trees air

I was driving the kids on the highway.

Clara: Why do we have to have so many trees?
Me: Well we breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, but trees breathe in carbon dioxide and out oxygen, so it's like we're trading.
Clara: So it's the opposite!
Me: Yes.
Clara: Are the trees breathing right now?
Me: Yes. Anytime the leaves are green they're breathing.
Clara: I'm going to breathe on them to give them more air. *breathes heavily on the closed car window*

8.28.21 - Kid snippets: Billiong or 100

Clara was describing her school to me.

Clara: Do you know how many kids are in the lunchroom?
Me: How many?
Clara: A BILLION kids!
Me: A billion, wow
Clara: Well maybe like 100

And randomly, Jane: When my mouth is talking, I get tired.

8.4.21 - Maybe kids should put me to bed

I'm tired.

Me: Maybe you guys should put me to bed and then you can stay up while I go to sleep and you can clean the kitchen.
Clara: Great idea!

8.3.21 - Kid snippets: Mommy no do that!

Calvin is sitting in my lap coloring scrap paper at the table and repeatedly saying "Mommy no do that!" as I sit here doing literally nothing.

7.28.21 - Kid snippets: Thanks because you love me

Just now when I gave Clara a kiss goodnight, she wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear "Thanks, Mom."

I pulled back to look at her.

Me: Thanks for what?
Clara, with a very serious face: Because you love me.
Me: *dies*
(Jk jk)
Me: I *do* love you!
I give her another kiss.
She smiles.

Fin.

7.26.21 - Kid snippets: napkin on my head

My in-laws use bandanas as cloth napkins. Today for the first time in forever I was wearing a bandana. As I was about to leave the house Clara shouted "WAIT! ... You've got to take that napkin off."