This morning Calvin woke up before everyone else and cuddled on the couch with me for a good 45 minutes--watching TikTok, lol.
My long work commute gives me time I wouldn't otherwise have to stay in touch with a lot of people I care about.
Last weekend I got to spend time with Neil and Ellen in person, and it was great. In fact I barely slept (relatively speaking) because I kept staying up late to talk.
Sarah also got to join us for lots of the weekend. I love how long she's known my family (17 years now!) and how comfortable she is around all of us even though we are so yelly.
Henry also joined and we played uninterrupted tichu and it was a really close game! 1005-1095 I think. I love close tichu games.
I felt particularly useful at work yesterday. Good feeling.
My office area faces a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows and this week when it was breezy leaves would flutter all around me.
Clara and Jane play pretend together frequently, and I'm so grateful they have each other for company.
Earlier this week we received some awesome kids Halloween books from Beth and several Halloween shirts, toys, and treats from my beloved in-laws.
We're going to the pumpkin patch tomorrow with the one family with kids who has been spending time with us these last several months. Really glad we have them to join. Apparently they are also psyched about it.
Next weekend we are going to "Erin's Halloween Candy Hunt," the event we've been counting down to in this house (literally, with a paper chain) since it was 45 days out. It's basically an easter egg hunt, but Halloween themed. It's going to be great, and it's entirely private so it cannot be cancelled unexpectedly.
Jack often calorie counts the dinners he makes just for me, so I can better track what I'm eating. Such a sweet gesture.
Our Director of Operations at work has decided to just...redo the office kitchen? And it's adorable. Lots of new colors and storage, backsplash, etc., feels halfway to a home kitchen. I really like it.
A few of my friends who have left FB over the years have created a Discord channel for a group of us to keep in better touch, and it's been a great connection and outlet the last few weeks. So glad they thought of it.
Last night when I pulled into my parking spot, Clara was standing in the nursery window and saw me. She started grinning hugely and as soon as I got out of the car she started shouting hello to me. Very sweet.
Most nights when I get home from work, I walk in the front door and there is a moment when each of the kids realizes I got home and starts beaming. Calvin usually starts bouncing up and down on his butt reaching up for me to pick him up. Also very sweet.
The travel day was not bad at all. Calvin slept on the way to SMF and we made it through security no problem. At the gate he hung out with me watching out the window while I messed on my phone. Once we boarded Neil and Emily were already on the flight because they very graciously left Portland early so they could help me with him from SMF to DEN. Emily slept most of the flight and Neil and I visited and did crosswords together. He helped me a lot by holding various items while I adjusted Calvin. It makes a big difference. Once we landed they helped watch my stroller and things while I changed Calvin and got readjusted. We met up with Everett, then Henry, and all drove back to COS together chatting happily and driving carefully because it was snowy. Calvin slept the whole way. What a good traveler. It was great to get to Tejon and not be concerned about gluten. Matt made a bunch of pizzas in the brick oven and we enjoyed those with some wine. Miss Kristin took Calvin and we all went to early karaoke (we arrived about 7pm). It was also great to go out and know that I wouldn't have to wake up, move, and try to get back down two toddlers at the end of the night. Getting a little baby to go back to sleep is a bit easier. So I really enjoyed the karaoke night. I just had a few Angry Orchard's and tried a few new karaoke songs (some worked (Ruby Baby) and some didn't (Written in the Sand), but it was good to try), and just generally enjoyed myself. Afterward, we all traipsed to the Air BnB. Actually we drove because it was pretty cold out, but the place is so close by (half a block) that we probably could've walked just as easily. The Air BnB was adorable - a little cottage with a cozy bedroom downstairs and several more beds in the A-frame attic. We set up the pack and play in the downstairs bedroom and Calvin and I slept there peacefully. And because it was just me, there was plenty of space to bring Calvin in bed through the night and nurse him while half sleeping, which is something I always really enjoyed with Jane and was glad to get a chance to do with Calvin for once. In fact in general it was great to get to spend so much time with Calvin, just the two of us. Now that I'm back at the lab I don't see him as much during normal weeks and it was good to get lots of cuddles in. It doesn't hurt that he's mostly very easy and cheerful and everyone else also enjoys seeing him. It was great to stay at an Air BnB so close, because I could just walk Calvin and me back and forth whenever I needed to without impacting anyone else's schedule or needing to borrow a vehicle.
[This as far as I was able to write at the time, the rest are just my quick notes.]
--Our Air Bnb is adorable and cozy, with plenty of space for Calvin and me to have our own room. Plus it's less than a block from Dad's house, so we can just walk back and forth.
--Emily took Calvin so I could take a much needed nap. I slept peacefully on Dad's huge bed for probably 1.5-2 hours and the other adults just took care of Calvin, feeding him and keeping him busy. It made a huge difference in the overall day.
--It was the most relaxed Thanksgiving day we've had, probably because there were fewer people, especially children, and because Matt did all the cooking so Dad wasn't stressing about it.
--And so of course the food was especially amazing, including bacon wrapped turkey stuffed with rum-soaked fruit or something.
--Calvin fell asleep right before it was time to eat dinner so I got to eat the whole dinner in peace. In fact I specifically remember sipping lavender wine (weird but delicious) and telling the room in general that I was in such a good freaking mood because I felt well-rested and was about to eat an amazing meal and Calvin was being very easy and I got to hang out with everyone.
--Then I got to sit on the couch and cuddle and play with Calvin while most of the other adults cleaned up the mess of a kitchen.
--Everett took Calvin so I could play the Paper Game, and I got through almost the entire game before needing to tend to him. When it was time to read our cards and I was taking care of Calvin, Rocket was very happy to read my cards for me, which was sweet.
--Henry went ahead of me to the Air Bnb to set up the pack and play, so when we got home I was able to sing to Calvin to calm him enough to nurse him lying down (my favorite, and something I've really enjoyed on this trip) and then put him to bed.
--Then I got a good 2.5 hours sleep before I needed to pump again, which is when I took the chance to write all this out real quick. And of course then go back to sleep. --We made no plans for Sunday so we were able to lounge and play games and pivot at our leisure. --I got to play a game of Catan while Emily and Henry kept Calvin busy/happy. --I laughed a lot at how one-sided the game was and, actually, how good Rocket was and how he kept accidentally trash talking. --I enjoyed Thanksgiving leftovers all day, especially cheesy potatoes. --I got to visit with Ellen for awhile. I don't get to talk to her as much anymore because she's so busy with residency so it was good to chat one-on-one while we unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. --We rewatched all of Dad's 60th Birthday video and then decided to watch the 50th one as well. --I got to play two games of Quiplash while Calvin leaned against Emily and happily hung out with everyone. I laughed very, very hard, especially when Everett answered "What should the next Lucky Charms marshmallow be?" with "Hot sog mmmm burger meat so good marshmellow." Seriously. Laughed until I cried. It was such a fun and relaxing trip.
Several people commented or privately messaged me to say they'd love to come visit and hold Calvin. That was already encouraging. Others commented asking for details on how to send us diapers, and Ellen suggested we just make a small Amazon registry to make it easier for people. So a couple days later I did just that, and I just linked the registry ad a comment under the original status. I didn't really feel comfortable linking it as its own status because it seemed too demanding, but Ellen posted it herself with this comment:
I didn't expect her to do that and was touched by her help. That status was only two days ago, and the next day we got a whole bunch of diaper pail liners from Henry and new baby bottles, pacifiers, and a breast pump from Nick.
Nick had all his gifts wrapped, which was sweet.
Then today we were inundated with Amazon boxes. I came home from work to a huge stack of them piled against the desk. Clara and Jane kept trying to scale them to "get up high" so Jack thought we should probably open them and put them up.
For the next 20-30 minutes the girls rotated between helping Jack open boxes (90% of which were diapers and baby wipes) and showing off how they could pick up individual boxes of diapers by themselves and move them around (from chairs to the floor to chairs again to the bunk bed and back to the floor, etc.) They were just extremely busy moving boxes of diapers, and Clara kept declaring "Mom, look! I'm so strong!" They would stop occasionally to help Jack open even more diapers and baby wipes, and despite almost every package being the same product, they got excited every time, haha.
I expected a lot of gifts from Nick because he had commented on Ellen's status saying he would "take care of it" and immediately after nearly everything on our registry had been bought! His generosity is stunning. And sure enough, the bulk of the gifts were from him, all of them gift wrapped too (which made for more fun as the girls untied glittery bags containing--you guessed it--diapers and wipes).
But to make the event even more touching, we also got gifts from multiple people I hadn't realized or expected. For example Kelsey bought Calvin a very Calvin-looking onesie. Erin got us more diaper pail liners and diapers with funny notes attached, we got more diapers and wipes from Einar, Jen R., Neil, and Jack's Grandma and Aunts Cheri and Linda, and Angela sent us an Amazon gift card. As we opened gift after gift after gift not only was it an increasing relief in terms of supplies but it was also so touching in terms of feeling taken care of and supported by friends all over the country.
Anyway, after awhile Jane and Clara got busy building an apparent fort out of boxes of diapers in our bedroom while Jack stayed in the living room and finished breaking down boxes. Finally there was only one unopened box, and Clara helped Jack with it. It was more diapers, and to my delight Clara exclaimed "Again!! Holy moly!" Lol. I didn't even know she knew that phrase.
Jack raised the crib as high as it will go and managed to pack all the diapers and wipes underneath.
Between all the baby supplies we still have from Clara and Jane as littles plus all the supplies we've gotten for this unofficial baby shower, we are in great shape for Calvin's incoming. I'm so grateful for all our friends!
I didn't have time to write a full blog post, but highlights:
It was very sweet watching Ellen walk across the stage and get "hooded." Can't believe she has an MD finally. So much work. I'm really proud of her. I thought she looked incredibly sophisticated in her graduation attire. I'm extra proud of her because she doesn't have a doctor or even PhD in the family (unlike nearly everyone who graduated) and I think that speaks to her particular resilience, confidence, and hard work compared to people who came from families with more pedigree and experience. She's a freaking BAMF.
Ellen on the top step because she now has the most advanced degree.
Lunch after the graduation was a lot of fun, actually. Dad, Jill, Rocket, Ellen, Igor, and I all went to a pretty nice sandwich place (Steubens) and had a pretty funny conversation about the use of the word "like" in conversation. Had a great time, also had a chocolate malt.
Other highlights of the visit before that included Ellen making spinach sausage loaf, ridiculous amounts of giggles on the drive home from a taqueria dinner (I was the only sober one, Mom and Julie were giggling at everything, it was pretty funny), and giving Ellen her med school scrapbook and enjoying her and other people enjoying it. I love making a good scrapbook.
On Monday I went to Berkeley to give my presentation for the public health course. I talked to Reece most of the way there, which made the trip fly by. I thought the presentation itself went very well, with no hostility even during Q&A. Everyone was very amicable.
Afterward I had thai dinner with perhaps 10 members of Berkeley Students for Life, and that was even better. We stayed and talked for nearly three hours about all sorts of things, and it was interesting getting their perspectives and enjoyable being asked mine. It was nice to have sincere conversations about atheism too.
Most of the drive home I talked to Ellen about how the presentation went, which made the trip again fly by.
On Tuesday after we put the kids to bed, Jack and I played online Tichu with Henry and Kale. It was so much fun. Jack and Henry were stomping us for awhile. At one point it was 380 to 820, and then Kale and I won the game within two rounds by grand tichu 1-2 and then tichu 1-2, ending at 1080 to 820. It was amazing. The entire game we had an online chat going where we were joking around, which is great because it's a low maintenance way to get some interaction with them. Really enjoyed it.
On Wednesday Jack went to give platelets as he does periodically and learned his platelet count is now too low and he has to switch giving whole blood like, as he puts it, the "plebs." He jokes, but he actually was kind of bummed he couldn't give the more difficult and possibly useful donations, and while that isn't a joy, it made me proud of him to realize how much he cares about his blood donations. What a sweet man.
I also got a solid day of work in (a rare occurrence lately) and then took the girls so Jack could work an evening shift. The three of us listened to "Friends on the other side" from Princess and the Frog for probably half an hour straight, each time dancing and singing along, each time they got more excited for the crescendo ending. It was a lot of fun.
Today (Thursday), Jack and I had Clara's IEP meeting with the school district, and it was almost uniformly wonderful news. She has already met all but one of her annual goals which were set only last September. Both her teacher (Macie) and school speech therapist (Beth) emphasized how much Clara has excelled and what a pleasure she is to work with. She's going to move up to an inclusion classroom next year, and they believe that will help her make even more progress with socializing and speech because she'll be around peers she can learn from. It sounds like they've built a lot of continuity into the transition, too, because she will have the same speech therapist, she's already met and spent some time with the new teacher, and her current teacher might be in a position where she still sees Clara about 60 minutes per week anyway.
Overall it was great news, and so encouraging. It was good to be reminded of what her goals originally were and see how far she's come already. Her staff seem confident she will be pretty ready for kindergarten in a year. What a relief!
Because Neil, Emily, and the Wolks had to leave Thursday, we celebrated Thanksgiving on Wednesday.
First of all, it was great for my family to stay at the Air Bnb. It's like a two minute drive from Dad's house, as opposed to a 40 minute drive between the ranch and Dad's house. We got to sleep in until the kids woke up naturally, and when they did wake up we didn't have to worry about waking anyone else up. I gave them a bowl of Cheerios which they happily ate together and we turned on the big screen TV for them to watch Super Simple Songs. They both seemed pretty impressed with that huge TV, which is on a table only a couple feet off the ground. For them it's probably like a mini movie screen. We got ready to go in our own time and then drove the very short drive back to Tejon.
When we arrived Dad was making pies. Zoey, Rocket, and Sola were cutting hearts, stars, and flowers out of extra pie dough to make pretty pie toppings. There was a lot of flour around, and I let the kids know that because Clara has celiac she can't touch the flour and if she does she has to wash her hands. They seemed to understand and take it seriously. I like when kids get to the age where they feel sort of honored at being given real responsibility.
I was also gratified to see how seriously Dad was taking it. A year ago when we arrived for Thanksgiving he went to hug Clara while he was covered in flour (he just didn't remember), but in contrast this year when the older kids were done with pie decorations he instructed Rocket to go to the master bathroom, change all his clothes, and wash off his hands and arms. He also had Rocket get Zoey a chance of clothes, all so that they wouldn't likely get flour on Clara. Dad still had several hours to go in the kitchen, and so he kept reminding people to please keep Clara out of the kitchen because of the flour. It is a relief to see the people around us take her Celiac seriously and make sure she's protected. Of course when she's a bit older it will be much easier because she will understand and keep an eye out for herself, but right now when she doesn't get it the extra eyes help.
Not long after we got there, Jack took the kids and Julie and I walked to Safeway to get contact solution for her and gluten free pizza for Clara. After we walked past her old house and then back to Tejon, visiting the whole way, mostly talking about marriage and kids. It's good to have a sibling that can relate on that level.
The next few hours were actually pretty relaxed. I visited with Dad and Jill and whoever was in the kitchen/dining area while helping Dad prep different dishes. Jane napped for a long time on Dad's bed. Clara played very happily either directly with the other kids or near them with the fake food, especially the ice cream scoops and cones, which she loved. Jack even found time to do a couple quizzes.
Clara and Malcolm dump clementines out of their truck.
Eventually everyone arrived from the ranch (Neil, Emily, Ellen, Everett, Henry) to help out. There was a bit of chaos as Dad tried to make sure there were enough ovens to keep everything warm, and Jack and Everett ran some dishes to our Air Bnb to use the oven there. I mostly watched the kids and stayed out of it. When Jane first got up from her nap she was a bit stoic but she warmed up eventually.
I was also kind of excited that this year we officially had a kids table. We pulled the coffee table from the front living room into the dining room and Zoey, Malcolm, and Clara sat at it. For a second Clara was upset because she wanted a chair, but we found a step stool for her and she was fine with it. She ate her gluten free pizza and didn't care in the slightest that everyone else was eating other stuff. I guess she's used to it. Even better, Jennifer brought individual gluten free pies, so after dinner Clara got her own apple pie. I thought that was really sweet, since she'd been pointing out the pies all day.
At the grown up table I got to eat in relative peace thanks to Julie taking Jane for a while and then Jane eating happily from Jack's lap. There were waaaaay more cheesy potatoes than we could possibly go through, but that's a good problem to have. There was also rare steak, which was awesome, and Jennifer's cranberry sauce was excellent! It's some kind of finely diced fruit salad type recipe including celery for crunch and nuts. Really the best cranberry dish I've had for Thanksgiving. Neil and Emily made a lot of vegan food and their vegan "cheesy" potatoes were pretty good. Their vegan spaghetti (zoodles = zucchini noodles) and sausage was delicious too. I wouldn't have even known it was vegan if Julie hadn't told me.
After dinner there were plenty of hands to help clean up and Dad was playing a lot of very cheerful dance songs he likes. Jane had really started to warm up and would kind of sway to some of the music. She also does this little move where she puts one arm behind her back and the other across her stomach and kind of bounces her knees a bit. It was a big hit, especially with Paul and his parents. Paul seems to really love little kids.
Also now that Dad was finally not covered in flour he was able to play with Clara. She had been calling for him ("Papi! Papi look!") all day to show him what she was doing but he had to watch from a distance because of the baking. But now he could play. He went down to the family room and danced with Clara, Malcolm, Zoey, and sometimes Rocket. Malcolm in particular was getting waaaay into the music and just going nuts. Apparently he especially likes 'No excuses' by Meghan Trainor, because when Julie put that song on he sort of froze for a second in a look of delight and astonishment, and then started dancing crazy fast. It was great. Clara had a similar reaction to the recent favorite: 'I've been everywhere man' by the Road Hammers. They sing the verses very quickly and she marches her feet up and down as fast as she can while yelling 'Faster!' It's awesome.
The day before Sola had asked me if we could play The Paper Game or Quiplash and I told her not that day but probably on our Thanksgiving day. She had mentioned it once or twice during today also, and Harrison also asked about it, so clearly they were excited. Neil kindly set up Quiplash on his laptop (hooked up to the big screen) and a lot of people got to play. It was a big hit. It's great to have a game that allows you to sit still on the couch and laugh, and in our big and chaotic family it's also great to have a game that can keep moving along even when various people get interrupted and have to leave and come back to it. It also worked out well that my siblings were playing but so were Harrison, Sola, and even Rocket (Emily lent him her phone) because there were sort of two groups of humor and it caused a lot of split votes, instead of one side dominating with only one person the odd man out. It was also a good way to wind down as the music is a lot more low key compared to the dance music Dad had been playing.
After a few rounds of that it was time for those of us with small children to go back to our Air Bnb's and put them to bed. I helped Jack get our kids to bed, and then I went back to Tejon and Dad and I drove up to the ranch to join Neil, Ellen, and Everett for DOOM! (Neil had been trying to get the DOOM network working with a lot of frustration, and he had previously mentioned he didn't know what the point was since we'd never get a chance to play anyway without me staying at the ranch. I told him I would absolutely make a trip to the ranch to play DOOM, which I think is extremely fun, so he felt more motivated and figured it all out). Dad watched us for a good hour, and we of course were laughing our heads off. At first there were some settings issues with this version of DOOM and none of the guns were reappearing, so we were having a lot of pistol fights which we still found hilarious. Neil fixed it eventually though. Also this version allowed us to change the colors of our players to anything, so I was black and Ellen was purple. This version also showed your rank (X out of 4) and the spread between first and last place, which was kind of cool. We played for a little over two hours. There were at least two points where I was laughing so hard I had to stop playing and just get it together. I love it.
I was pretty exhausted when I got back home so it was good to get into our already warm apartment and pass out. Overall an excellent Thanksgiving.
Jill: My favorite part of Field Day was Harrison singing.
(I don't have a pic of Harrison singing but here he is playing hot potato.)
Everett: Henry telling me he's going to give me his super awesome phone come October because he's going to get a new one then.
Henry: water balloon fight
Henry cleans his glasses while Dad takes the fight up a notch with the hose.
Me: Everett singing Led Zeppelin
Neil: I'd say it's tie between the Betrayal game with Ellen where Dad became stupid Ox and bringing Clara in from the car while she was passed out. Beating Everett in chess is a close second. Clara being excited about the plane taking off was also great.
Bryan: My ultimate victory in Munchkin.
Me: I love how much Clara enjoyed the bubble machines and four wheeler and everyone singing karaoke.
Ellen: Dad being dumb Ox was soooo funny. I also really enjoyed day 2 of just hanging around talking.
Julie: Not in any particular order: driving the jeep at the ranch, karaoke, watching my kids run around the ranch, meeting Emily, the five united.
