4.4.21 - Joy status: Living room to myself

Easter wore my family out, apparently, because everyone--even Jack--was in bed by 7:30 pm. You know what that means? That means I have *multiple* hours of *quiet,* **alone** time in *my own living room.* Happy Easter to me!

2.18.21 - Joy status: sun rising earlier

It's *also* now light out by the time I arrive to work.

2.17.21 - Joy status: sun setting later

It's starting to be light out when I leave work.

5.17.20 - Best of the Missouri trip

The weather was excellent. Everett and Mom couldn't stop commenting on how nice it was that cooler spring weather was lasting so long. In fact we only had any humidity in the last 3-4 days I was there. Before that there wasn't any real humidity, and typically the weather was in the mid 60s to mid 70s. Maybe one or two days in the high 70s or 80, that's it. Best of all, there were thunderstorms maybe 5-6 times. I love thunderstorms so much. I love the smell and sound, and I love the nostalgia. They remind me a little of when I was a kid and a lot of Missouri summers in my young adulthood (late teens and early twenties).

One of my favorite moments of the trip was sitting on Don & Merlene's front porch with all three kids watching a huge thunderstorm roll in. It really was a little awe striking and beautiful watching the clouds swirl around each other. Clara observed the dark clouds coming in on her left and pushing out the white clouds on the white. The fishing-themed wind chimes were playing and the American flag was whipping around, as were the branches in the big tree in their front yard. Don & Merlene joined us after awhile too. I was glad to really get the most out of that thunderstorm.

It was cool to get to be in Missouri in the spring. I don't think I've done that since Easter of 2009. Mom's yard in particular had a lot of blooming flowers and the gorgeous Japanese maple trees out front, plus her Easter yard flag and other décor. Just super cute. And when we went on walks around Don & Merlene's neighborhood there were likewise a lot of flowers in bloom--even one tree that had white petals falling all around it which the girls stopped to observe. Also robins everywhere. Just kind of cute.

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It was great to see Eddie and Elisabeth a few times. I saw them three times in 4 weeks, which is about the same average as when we typically visit Missouri. In particular, the first time I saw them I walked around Don & Merlene's neighborhood with Elisabeth, each of us pushing our babies (Eva and Calvin) in strollers. Then we sat in the front yard (at least 6 ft apart) and talked longer, and eventually Eddie joined us because he got off work early. Elisabeth took Eva home for lunch and a nap but Eddie stayed and we chatted longer. I'm always happy to see those guys but in this specific instance it had been only a day since my lowest point of the quarantine, and I was so relieved to see and visit with other people. Felt like a bit of normalcy, and socialization can make a big psychological difference.

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Speaking of walks, I thought we'd be walking around the neighborhood all the time, but we ended up doing so only a few times. Still they were really enjoyable. The first time I took all three kids to try to give Jack some space, and I tried to make the walk last as long as possible. We walked slowly and stopped to look at everything I could think to point out: trees, flowers (especially dandelions), different types of mailboxes, robins and other birds, rabbits, squirrels, storm drains, cute porch décor, house numbers, the sun. The girls enjoyed making countless observations, and Clara picked a lot of dandelions. We walked around the block we usually do, but then kept going up into the coldasack just to keep it going. It was nice to spend peaceful time with them. I also thought a lot about owning a house someday as I considered what I liked or didn't on each porch. We saw one or two signs announcing that FZS 2020 graduates lived inside, and like so many other things in St. Peters, it was nostalgic. I thought about high school and how I have memories in this same neighborhood from that time.

Over the trip Clara and Jane also went on a few walks with Mimi and Gpa, which I think gave them some nice bonding time and change of scenery while also giving us (Jack and me) little breaks.

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It was great getting to spend so much time with Everett. We spent a lot of afternoons sitting in the basement, him playing Kingdom Hearts and me trying to get work done, but all while chatting casually with each other. We made fun of Kingdom Hearts a lot (Sora is kind of an idiot) but we also enjoyed the animation and soundtrack. And more generally it's nice to visit without feeling pressure to hurry and make the most of it. During other Missouri trips I would have packed the schedule with social events, but we couldn’t' do that this time, and while it means we saw fewer people, it also means I was more relaxed with a more flexible schedule. And in the case of Everett, social distancing from everyone else made it easy for me to spend a lot more time with him than I normally get to.

We also did go have cigars on the DuPre bridge, twice. I love that tradition. We talk a lot more there, I assume because no one else is around, there are no other distractions, and it's usually relatively dark which means we aren't even distracted by what we're looking at. Both times we had more substantial conversations than we do when working/playing Kingdom Hearts, of course, and I think the bridge & cigars tradition gives me an unusual change to really hear how he's doing. Plus we always talk about the memories with that creek and the path to it and the DuPre neighborhood generally. It's nice to have someone that remembers that shared history.

I also got to spend Everett's birthday with him, which is very unusual. We went with Mom and picked up sushi (Wasabi, but at the wrong location of Town & Country, oh well) and then ate it at a picnic table near the Missouri River in old town St. Charles. Mom laughs so easily she encourages me to try to joke more often which makes her laugh more often. And of course she thinks Everett is hilarious, and he thinks her laughing is itself funny, so yeah, lots of laughing. After we visited for awhile at her house, and then way later Everett came to Don & Merlene's with his laptop so we could play Catan online with Jack and Neil (Neil and I had figured out how to set it up earlier that day). Don & Merlene even sang Everett Happy Birthday. Catan was a blast. We played two games. Calvin stayed awake through all of the first but just sat on the couch between Everett and me and hung out. He really wanted to hit Everett's laptop but eventually got it out of his system. Poor little guy was exhausted by the end of the first game and fell asleep almost as soon as Jack took him. Then we played one more game, probably a mistake because we were up too late, but we were all joking around the whole time. Neil (the only one not physically in the room) kept playing the devil on the shoulder trying to get everyone to go after each other. I also had some candy and chips around to snack on while we relaxed. It was a fun evening.

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I'm glad the kids got to spend so much time with Mom.

We went to her house a bunch of times, and it was really helpful to me because it's an extra pair of hands, helpful to Jack because he gets a more relaxed break to study, helpful to the kids because it's a change of scenery and they love their Jama. We played in the backyard a lot, particularly with her hose. Clara liked to "paint" the entire back wall of the house with water. Jane liked to water the plants. And her back patio furniture makes it easy to just feed them outside, if we want.

I also love Mom's front porch. It's very cozy and well decorated. Once or twice I got to sit peacefully up there with Calvin in my lap as he watched cars drive by and cooed. And one time Jane and Calvin took naps at the same time, so Mom played with Clara in the house and backyard and Everett and I sat and chilled on the front porch for probably over an hour.

Mom and I also took the kids to All Saints twice. The first time we went to look inside the church. The girls were very impressed and at first kept calling it a castle, saying it was just like in Beauty and the Beast. We also took them to the playground, of course, and especially the 2nd time we went they had a blast. The weather was great and Mom and I took turns (mostly Mom) chasing them all over the playground while they giggled and shrieked "You can't catch me!!" I so enjoy how much my mom and my kids like spending time with each other.

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Also glad the kids got to spend time with their cousins. This took longer because we waited until we had been in MO at least 2 weeks, but then we had a playdate with the Jacksons all over to use Mimi & Gpa's new playset. There was also a kite, sidewalk chalk, and bubbles, and they loved it. It's so good for kids to get to spend time with other kids, and I'm glad all of our kid are roughly the same age.

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And of course Don & Merlene were fantastic hosts, as they always are. Paid for our groceries, made countless meals, clean every night (we tried to be better about cleaning up as part of night time routine, but it's still never the same as if there weren't a bunch of kids in the house), did laundry, babysat so Jack and I could go on dates, etc. They are ceaselessly generous and kind.

5.12.20 - Joy status: general joys in Missouri

I figured out how to control YouTube videos on my in-laws' TV using my phone. Makes it a lot easier to pick useful videos for my kids to watch.

I also filled the entire tank this morning for like $18 because gas is so ridiculously cheap right now. Felt like I was getting away with something.

Jane has been super sweet all day. When Clara gets upset, Jane asks her what's wrong and if Jane can do something about it she does, such as going back upstairs and getting Clara's blanket for her.

Finally, we are supposed to have thunderstorms three different days this week and I'm psyched about it. It's one of my favorite things about the Midwest.

4.28.20 - Joy status: watching a thunderstorm with the kids

Sitting on my in-laws' front porch with the kids watching a thunderstorm roll in last night. It was really beautiful. The clouds were enough different shades of gray that you could easily see them swirling around each other. As they approached it was breezy and warm, but pretty quiet (except Merlene's fishing themed wind chimes). Midwestern thunderstorms are wonderful. I feel lucky we've already had two since we've been here.

 

4.25.20 - Joy status: Thunderstorm date

Date night: to go sushi at a picnic table by the Missouri River.

The best part of the date was watching a thunderstorm rolling in. Midwestern thunderstorms are in my joy inventory.

We coudl tell it was going to start pouring on us soon, so we were sort of speed walking to the car in the warm wind, but we were so happy to experience the thunderstorm rolling in we were kind of giggling about it.

It did start sprinkling on us as we neared the car, which we were very dramatic about. Once in the car we sat for a minute and continued to watch.

We drove a short way and picked up drive thru Dairy Queen, then came back to the riverfront and ate ice cream while it poured all around us. I loved it.

4.14.20 - Joy status: snow melting

Joy inventory: watching snow melt rapidly

4.30.19 - April joy statuses

2.14.19 - Kid Snippets - Clementines, umbrellas, rain

Last night:
Clara: Daddy, say "awwww yeah!"
Jack: Awwww, yeah!
Clara: Say "I want to turn on the videos!"
Jack: Nice try!

Jane helped me peel a clementine. I would start one peel and then she'd pull it the rest of the way off. Each time she would get SO excited and squeal and stomp and turn in a circle and sometimes just yell (like she does). She didn't actually want to eat the clementine or anything, of course, but she was pretty excited that it was peeled.

This morning:
It was pouring out, so Jack took the kids to the car one at a time with an umbrella. Jane first. When he opened the umbrella she looked delighted, and I could hear her repeating "Umbwewah!" all the way down the stairs and to the car.

Meanwhile Clara stood on the covered balcony with me, talking incessantly about the weather. "Mommy, say 'the rain is pouring down!' Mommy look, look at the rain! Mommy the rain is on my head!" (She did not want to put her hood on, preferring the full experience.)

12.31.18 - December joy statuses

 

5.1.18 - Spring books

4.28.18 - April showers!

4.7.18 - Weather changing...

4.1.18 - Gluten free Easter

3.17.18 - St. Patrick's Day

I actually forgot it would be St. Patrick's Day until last night when I saw Google's Doodle for the day.

This is one of those minor holidays that of course can't compare to the Trifecta in the last quarter (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas), but as a kid I always enjoyed all the holidays quite a lot. I think it might because we made a big deal about them at school, and Mom had decorations for at least some of them at home. Otherwise I remember making our own drawings and decorations to put in the dining room at home for each holiday. And I always enjoyed feeling special and included wearing green on St. Patrick's Day (or dressing up for easter, or wearing red on Valentine's Day, etc.)

Now that I have my own kids the "minor holidays" seem fun again, even though so far they are too young to know what's going on. And even though we probably won't even leave the apartment on this laid back Saturday, I went ahead and dressed them both in some of the only green clothes they had and put on my own greenish cargo pants (which, incidentally, I couldn't wear without an extendor last time I tried them on, and now they fit no problem. Thank you calorie counting!)

Clara reads along to One Fish, Two Fish.

Jane snuggles her blanket.

I had no plans beyond that but I did bake some blueberry muffins today including a lot of zucchini and real bluberries, which made the batter look dark green. We'll pretend that was for St. Patrick's Day. And it was really a joy turning on the oven light and watching Clara get excited about the muffins baking. She put her nose up to the window and said "Oh wow! So muffin!" and she kept knocking on the oven door, haha.

When the first batch was done, I fed some pieces to Janey in her high chair and Clara squooshed next to me on the kitchen chair I was sitting on and remarked "Two? Two muffins!" meaning one for her and one for me. She seemed to get a kick out of that. So all three of us shared a moment wearing our green clothes and eating our slightly green freshly baked muffins, and it was pretty nice.

Finally, here is my post on FB for the day:

I've been trying to get Clara to take a nap for like an hour, and once or twice I've heard her sitting at the nursery door knocking. I open the door and say "Clara Lynn, go lay down," and she jumps up and runs and gets in her bed. Wait long enough and the process repeats. Just now I went to do the same, but instead of opening the door I just said through it "Clara Lynn, go lay down." I could hear she didn't move, so I said it again and still heard nothing. So I opened the door to make her go lay down, only to realize she is asleep at the foot of the door, haha. Guess that's where her nap is happening today.

3.1.18 - Safe and warm

For some reason I was extra exhausted last night and struggling to stay awake from about 8:30 pm onward. Jane was not tired. Eventually I decided she would have to either play in her crib or cry in her crib until she went to sleep because I was too tired to keep an eye on her safely. The first joy of this post is that I put her in her crib and she just smushed her face into her blanket, cooed a little, and then fell asleep. That is perhaps the second time in her life that has happened.

So I went to bed by 9:30 pm (Clara fell asleep very early because she had been up since 5 am with only an hour and a half nap). The second joy of this post was that Jane didn't wake up to nurse until about 5 am. That is 7.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep for me! I felt so rested it took me a while go to back to sleep after nursing her. 7.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep is worth more than like 9 hours of interrupted sleep, in my opinion.

But at 5 am, while I was nursing Jane, it was raining really hard outside and the wind was blowing, and it sounded very cold and wet. I actually love that weather. And I listened to the wind and rain and watched Jane, mostly asleep, nursing, and thought about Clara all snuggled in her big girl bed with her Maruader's Map blanket, and I felt incredibly fortunate and grateful that I'm able to keep my children safe and warm.

Parenthood has introduced a much higher level of vulnerability to my life. Caring about the wellbeing of my children is much different than caring about the wellbeing of anyone else I know, including myself. And I know there are countless parents with countless struggles with their children. There is plenty in my life I'd like to change and improve upon, but when I think about the big picture this way, I feel humbled and grateful for all that Jack and I have.

4.16.17 - Spring showers!

4.16.17 - Easter baskets

3.26.17 - Why I Love Rainy Days