2.15.20 - Starbucks Mama-Clara date

I've switched to working three 11 hour shifts Tues-Thurs at the lab, and so I hardly see the kids in the middle of the week. Even Friday to Monday I leave for hours at a time every day to get work done at Starbucks. I go to Starbucks so often that when Jane is pretending to leave she says "Goo'bye Mom! I go to Sawbucks!" Apparently they also think I'm at Starbucks on lab days when I'm gone before dawn and back in the evening.

Recently Clara has started asking me if she can come to Starbucks with me, but since she always asks moments before I'm leaving to get work done, I keep telling her no. She handles it well but I thought it would be nice to show her what this mysterious Starbucks looks like. Also it would just be nice to have some one-on-one time with her, considering even when I am home she doesn't get a lot of focused attention with the younger two needing more of it.

So yesterday I told her that after ABA therapy we could go to Starbucks, just her and me. She was very focused on what it means to go to Starbucks and "be a grown up." I put a few things in my purse (I rarely use a purse, usually taking my entire backpack) and she insisted on carrying it herself. As we were walking down the stairs in front of our apartment, some neighbors with young children were playing in the apartment parking lot. I've chatted briefly with one of the moms before, so I waved, and she said hi. Clara waved back and said "Hi!" then "We're going to Starbucks!" She repeated that two or three more times, and grinned to herself. Adorable.

After she got buckled in she asked me to keep the purse next to her too. When we got to Starbucks I read the name out loud to her. We got out of the car and then she need to put the purse back on and zip it up so she'd be all ready to go.

I wasn't really sure what I could order for her. I don't know how big of a problem cross contamination is for Starbucks drinks. Most of their ingredients for drinks are gluten free, but not all. Then again they should be steaming only different kinds of milk in their steamers, never anything else, so presumably the steamers are gluten free. Anyway, I asked the barista at the register and we talked awhile about what was celiac safe. He said his girlfriend is gluten intolerant but has successfully tried XYZ drinks without issue, so at least he understood what gluten is. I ended up ordering Clara a kids hot chocolate without whipped cream and a rice krispie treat. I just got a decaf Americano.

We sat in the far corner where a bench lines the wall in front of ~10 ft windows and then curves in front of a wall with a huge Starbucks mermaid painting. There were two other guys in that area studying, and Clara seemed hesitant at first to sit near them but got over it quickly. We sat at our table and I got out the "Eye Spy" Disney cards, which I sorted into movie scenes. Then we put them together one or two scenes at a time and talked about all the characters in the images and what was going on. Clara wanted to share her rice krispie with me, and later wanted me to try her drink, and each time after I tried something she'd look at me and smile and nod knowingly (and ask me to do the same).

She carefully examined our cups to see they both had the Starbucks logo on them, and she liked that the smaller one was for her ("because I'm small") and the larger one was for me. She wanted us to take drinks from our cups at the same time. I showed her how to tap the cups together and say "Cheers!" and she was really excited about that too.

It was just after twilight and she was really noticing all the things she could see outside (outdoor lighting, umbrellas for outdoor tables) but also, even more amazing, the reflections of everything inside, including the baristas ("All our friends!") and her and me and the mermaid painting. She examined reflections vs real objects in the window for a long time.

At one point she wanted to go sit by herself at a table in the center of the store. She said something about how she would be a grown up. There were hardly any people there anyway, so I told her to go ahead and I watched from a distance. She glanced at me a few times to see if I was watching her and then smiled. After maybe 90 seconds she came back to sit with me. One of the guys who had been studying had since left so she wanted us to take his table instead (even more secluded). Once we sat down there she spontaneously said "Mom, I love you." Best date ever?

After that she spent a lot of time scooting around on the long empty bench and trying to move the window blinds up and down without me noticing (failed at that). She also found a penny at one point and proudly showed it to the barista who was nearby sweeping. At first he didn't hear her so I told her to say "Excuse me sir!" and then he noticed. He told her it must be a lucky penny and she could keep it. I told her we could take it home and put it in our penny jar. She was curious what I meant because she never realized we had a penny jar (considering our coin jars are on top of the spice rack, and well above her normal field of view).

I spent a lot of time watching her, thinking about how big she's getting, how fast time is going, and how sweet she is.

When we wrapped up she put the purse on again and wore it in the car on the way home. The whole experience was awesome, and I hope Jack and I find time to do more parent-kid dates from now on.