--Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
--As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
--Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
--In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
--Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."
--For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
--The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
--Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
--When Chuck Norris sneeze, he don't say "Atchoo" he says "DIE EVERYONE!!!". That's what happens next.
Black tears.
Very Olympic.
We only gave her the shirt after all the events were over.
I found more:
--Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
--Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
--Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
--Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
--Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Jeep.
--Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
--Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the f*** Chuck Norris is.
--Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
--Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
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