11.30.18 - November joy statuses

11.29.18 Visiting Aujang and Sarah

I haven't seen my friend AJ in person since summer of 2008. Recently he let me know he would be in the bay area for a meeting and then had a couple hours before his flight. So yesterday I drove down to Oakland to see him. I talked with Reece most of the drive down, which gave me some good visiting time with a FB friend no longer on FB and also made the drive go quickly.

I asked AJ to meet met at the Starbucks off Edgewater Drive, which happens to be the Starbucks where I used to study all day while Jack worked at the Walmart next to it. I was slightly proud of myself when I was able to remember how to get there without consulting Google Maps. I was surprised, though, to see the Walmart is now closed. Just an empty unmarked building for now. The Starbucks was also entirely different, which shouldn't have surprised me since it's been years since I've been there and most locations change their indoor arrangements every 6 months or so.

Anyway, I got there early so I enjoyed snipping dance home videos for a compilation project I'm working on. AJ arrived with his friend and business partner Tyler, and we walked to the Chipotle next door so they could get lunch while we visited. We talked for probably 1.5-2 hours about work and relationships, how I met Jack, things like that, and it was really fun. I could have easily visited much longer but they had to go catch their flight. It's wonderful when you reconnect with friends and you immediately are comfortable around each other again.

Since I was already going to be all the way down in Oakland, I had asked Sarah if she's be free to have dinner, and she was. I drove to the Panera she had chosen and kept working on my dance clips (which really make me smile and laugh to myself) until she got there. She bought my dinner (very sweet) since I had driven down, and then we also visited for nearly three hours. We both kept saying we should get going soon but then kept...not doing that, haha. And we made each other laugh pretty hard a few times. It was great.

Overall an unexpected but really nice day of socializing with friends I don't see much. I'm particularly glad Sarah lives in the bay area because, even though we still see each other only every few months, it's a lot more often than we saw each other when she lived in Minnesota.

11.21.18 - Thanksgiving (for us)

Because Neil, Emily, and the Wolks had to leave Thursday, we celebrated Thanksgiving on Wednesday.

First of all, it was great for my family to stay at the Air Bnb. It's like a two minute drive from Dad's house, as opposed to a 40 minute drive between the ranch and Dad's house. We got to sleep in until the kids woke up naturally, and when they did wake up we didn't have to worry about waking anyone else up. I gave them a bowl of Cheerios which they happily ate together and we turned on the big screen TV for them to watch Super Simple Songs. They both seemed pretty impressed with that huge TV, which is on a table only a couple feet off the ground. For them it's probably like a mini movie screen. We got ready to go in our own time and then drove the very short drive back to Tejon.

When we arrived Dad was making pies. Zoey, Rocket, and Sola were cutting hearts, stars, and flowers out of extra pie dough to make pretty pie toppings. There was a lot of flour around, and I let the kids know that because Clara has celiac she can't touch the flour and if she does she has to wash her hands. They seemed to understand and take it seriously. I like when kids get to the age where they feel sort of honored at being given real responsibility.

I was also gratified to see how seriously Dad was taking it. A year ago when we arrived for Thanksgiving he went to hug Clara while he was covered in flour (he just didn't remember), but in contrast this year when the older kids were done with pie decorations he instructed Rocket to go to the master bathroom, change all his clothes, and wash off his hands and arms. He also had Rocket get Zoey a chance of clothes, all so that they wouldn't likely get flour on Clara. Dad still had several hours to go in the kitchen, and so he kept reminding people to please keep Clara out of the kitchen because of the flour. It is a relief to see the people around us take her Celiac seriously and make sure she's protected. Of course when she's a bit older it will be much easier because she will understand and keep an eye out for herself, but right now when she doesn't get it the extra eyes help.

Not long after we got there, Jack took the kids and Julie and I walked to Safeway to get contact solution for her and gluten free pizza for Clara. After we walked past her old house and then back to Tejon, visiting the whole way, mostly talking about marriage and kids. It's good to have a sibling that can relate on that level.

The next few hours were actually pretty relaxed. I visited with Dad and Jill and whoever was in the kitchen/dining area while helping Dad prep different dishes. Jane napped for a long time on Dad's bed. Clara played very happily either directly with the other kids or near them with the fake food, especially the ice cream scoops and cones, which she loved. Jack even found time to do a couple quizzes.

Clara and Malcolm dump clementines out of their truck.

Eventually everyone arrived from the ranch (Neil, Emily, Ellen, Everett, Henry) to help out. There was a bit of chaos as Dad tried to make sure there were enough ovens to keep everything warm, and Jack and Everett ran some dishes to our Air Bnb to use the oven there. I mostly watched the kids and stayed out of it. When Jane first got up from her nap she was a bit stoic but she warmed up eventually.

I was also kind of excited that this year we officially had a kids table. We pulled the coffee table from the front living room into the dining room and Zoey, Malcolm, and Clara sat at it. For a second Clara was upset because she wanted a chair, but we found a step stool for her and she was fine with it. She ate her gluten free pizza and didn't care in the slightest that everyone else was eating other stuff. I guess she's used to it. Even better, Jennifer brought individual gluten free pies, so after dinner Clara got her own apple pie. I thought that was really sweet, since she'd been pointing out the pies all day.

At the grown up table I got to eat in relative peace thanks to Julie taking Jane for a while and then Jane eating happily from Jack's lap. There were waaaaay more cheesy potatoes than we could possibly go through, but that's a good problem to have. There was also rare steak, which was awesome, and Jennifer's cranberry sauce was excellent! It's some kind of finely diced fruit salad type recipe including celery for crunch and nuts. Really the best cranberry dish I've had for Thanksgiving. Neil and Emily made a lot of vegan food and their vegan "cheesy" potatoes were pretty good. Their vegan spaghetti (zoodles = zucchini noodles) and sausage was delicious too. I wouldn't have even known it was vegan if Julie hadn't told me.

After dinner there were plenty of hands to help clean up and Dad was playing a lot of very cheerful dance songs he likes. Jane had really started to warm up and would kind of sway to some of the music. She also does this little move where she puts one arm behind her back and the other across her stomach and kind of bounces her knees a bit. It was a big hit, especially with Paul and his parents. Paul seems to really love little kids.

Also now that Dad was finally not covered in flour he was able to play with Clara. She had been calling for him ("Papi! Papi look!") all day to show him what she was doing but he had to watch from a distance because of the baking. But now he could play. He went down to the family room and danced with Clara, Malcolm, Zoey, and sometimes Rocket. Malcolm in particular was getting waaaay into the music and just going nuts. Apparently he especially likes 'No excuses' by Meghan Trainor, because when Julie put that song on he sort of froze for a second in a look of delight and astonishment, and then started dancing crazy fast. It was great. Clara had a similar reaction to the recent favorite: 'I've been everywhere man' by the Road Hammers. They sing the verses very quickly and she marches her feet up and down as fast as she can while yelling 'Faster!' It's awesome.

The day before Sola had asked me if we could play The Paper Game or Quiplash and I told her not that day but probably on our Thanksgiving day. She had mentioned it once or twice during today also, and Harrison also asked about it, so clearly they were excited. Neil kindly set up Quiplash on his laptop (hooked up to the big screen) and a lot of people got to play. It was a big hit. It's great to have a game that allows you to sit still on the couch and laugh, and in our big and chaotic family it's also great to have a game that can keep moving along even when various people get interrupted and have to leave and come back to it. It also worked out well that my siblings were playing but so were Harrison, Sola, and even Rocket (Emily lent him her phone) because there were sort of two groups of humor and it caused a lot of split votes, instead of one side dominating with only one person the odd man out. It was also a good way to wind down as the music is a lot more low key compared to the dance music Dad had been playing.

After a few rounds of that it was time for those of us with small children to go back to our Air Bnb's and put them to bed. I helped Jack get our kids to bed, and then I went back to Tejon and Dad and I drove up to the ranch to join Neil, Ellen, and Everett for DOOM! (Neil had been trying to get the DOOM network working with a lot of frustration, and he had previously mentioned he didn't know what the point was since we'd never get a chance to play anyway without me staying at the ranch. I told him I would absolutely make a trip to the ranch to play DOOM, which I think is extremely fun, so he felt more motivated and figured it all out). Dad watched us for a good hour, and we of course were laughing our heads off. At first there were some settings issues with this version of DOOM and none of the guns were reappearing, so we were having a lot of pistol fights which we still found hilarious. Neil fixed it eventually though. Also this version allowed us to change the colors of our players to anything, so I was black and Ellen was purple. This version also showed your rank (X out of 4) and the spread between first and last place, which was kind of cool. We played for a little over two hours. There were at least two points where I was laughing so hard I had to stop playing and just get it together. I love it.

I was pretty exhausted when I got back home so it was good to get into our already warm apartment and pass out. Overall an excellent Thanksgiving.

11.20.18 - Traveling to Colorado

Traveling kids is generally a huge pain, but there are moments where it's very sweet.

Yesterday as we were getting ready to leave, Jack kept going between the car and the apartment loading things up, and the more he left the apartment the more anxious Jane got to leave too. She brought me her shoes and gestured and babbled in a way that was clear she wanted to put them on and go. Once I put her shoes on she kept slipping out the front door as I was trying to finish things up inside. I finally gave up and stood with her at the top of the stairs out front to watch Jack pack up the car, and she seemed content for the moment. It was pretty sweet.

I took this pic while hauling allll our luggage to some seats to wait for Jack to get back from parking the car so we could check in.

At Sacramento airport, Jack and I were checking our many bags and car seats while the girls hung out in the (blessed) double stroller. Suddenly Clara turned around and offered Jane her sippy cup, and even though Jane had refused to drink from it in the last 30-60 minutes, she still willingly held it in her mouth basically as long as Clara wanted, and they both seemed tickled by that.

We rode up the glass elevators, which I genuinely enjoy just on my own, but which are more fun with the girls because they seem very interested in what's happening. Then of course we got to ride the little shuttle from ticketing to the terminal. Jack faced the stroller forward right next to the front window so Clara could watch as we pulled away from "the station." She was so excited. Once the shuttle started moving she shouted "Wheeee! Woohoooo!" a few times and the adults around us were laughing and talking about how it's even better than Disneyland (no wait, and it's free). So that was delightful.

We used TSA Pre-check for the first time, and while the TSA still shouldn't really exist, it was definitely faster and easier than the alternative. Shorter line, and you don't have to take off your shoes or belts or take out your electronics. So that was nice.

When we got to our gate we had plenty of time to spare so we had a little airport picnic of pancakes (gluten free of course, with apples diced in), hard boiled eggs, beef jerkey, and a nut mix. The girls stayed in the stroller while we handed them bits of food, and they ate a lot.

We let the girls out of the stroller to stretch their legs while they still could. I love how at most airports the windows go all the way to the floor, because it means little kids can easily look outside and watch everything going on. They both stood against the window looking outside and for a little while they both lightly kicked the windows and stomped on the window frames listening to the metallic thuds. Clara started walking back and forth along the length of one window frame watching her shadow on the airport carpet. Jane noticed some people sitting a few seats away from us and kept staring at them but wouldn't wave hi back until she had crawled to the safety of my lap. Then she smiled and babbled "hi" a few times.

The flight itself went okay. Neither girl slept but neither got very impatient either. Jane played a lot with trying to move the cards around on Spider Solitaire on my phone. She also got some Doritos from the little girl and Grandma we sat next to. The Kindle kept Clara busy the whole time in the row right in front of us.

In Denver, Clara loved the train from the gates to baggage claim. She and I sat at one end of our car so she could see outside. We were facing the adjoining car and there were two young kids sitting there too, so Clara was facing them. All three pressed their hands against the glass and looked at each other, and when the train started moving all three looked amazed and delighted, to the point where, again, adults around us we're laughing. Clara kept waving to them and saying "Hello my friends!" It was so sweet.

Jane fell asleep on the way to baggage claim and stayed asleep for our wait for Neil to arrive (he got stuck in traffic).

Unfortunately that meant she woke up just as we were loading up the truck, and she was very unhappy to be in her car seat. Inconsolable, at first. That's definitely not part of the joy inventory, but when we stopped for gas I swtiched seats with Jack (so he was in front and I was next to Jane). We also moved Jane's seat to the middle so she was next to Clara, and even though Clara was sound asleep (even snoring), Jane seemed slightly comforted by being near Clara. She kept reaching out to Clara and babbling. She was still crying a lot, but I leaned next to her and sang softly. My theory is she has to stop crying to hear what I'm singing, and it (sort of) worked. She started settling down for the first time in maybe 20-30 minutes. She still kept crying intermittedly but she was definitely winding down. I sang her "If I Only Had a Brain," "Rainbow Connection," "You Don't Know Me," and "Someday," and by the time I was done with all that she was calm enough that I could read her a book and that took her all the way to total calm. (Previously she'd been crying so hard if we got a book out she just shoved it away.) So I read her "A Time for Everything" and then sang her "Wheels on the Bus," and by then she was calm enough I could give her the Kindle and let her browse the kids videos on it. She made it the rest of the trip. It was a huge relief because when we had gotten gas we still had 50 minutes to go, and it was endearing to me that I can still sing to her and it helps a bit.

It was a relief to get to Tejon. Everyone was still there and we got to visit for a while. Jane only wanted to stay in my arms and glare at everyone for quite a while, but once she had some tacos she warmed up and ultimately she and Clara were playing with Malcolm and Rocket upstairs in the kids' room.

11.15.18 Kid snippets - Ow be careful!

I was lying on the floor reading a book when Jane came over and dropped another book on my eye. I shouted "ow!" Then Clara said "Ow be careful!" and smacked my stomach pretty hard. Not sure why she thought those two would go together. I looked at her and said "What are you doing?" And then she hit my shoulder and said "Be careful!" Lol. Like an Italian grandmother or something.

11/4/18 - Nick & Terrisa's visit

11/4/18 - Terrisa and Nick drove up from the bay area (Nick as far as San Jose!) to visit us for the day. We went to lunch at Thai Basil. Nick drove all of us. Mom sat shotgun and she and Nick had one convo while Terrisa and I discussed political stuff in the back seat. Both those conversations kept going strong on the walk from the car to the restaurant and well into lunch. We sat at a cute table by the window. I like how all the tables had multi-colored roses on them, very pretty.

I got a dish with chicken and pineapple that was pretty great. Mom got a green curry eggplant dish plus Nick ordered some kind of peanut curry fried rice thing for everyone to share. The women all split a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Somehow it escaped my notice (or memory) that Nick just doesn't drink at all. He doesn't like the taste. But even so he treated all of us to the entire meal, which was so sweet. He's very generous. He said it feels easier to be generous with friends as opposed to dating because if he is more generous on dates it comes off as pressure rather than kindness. Anyway we talked animatedly for a long time about mostly politics. It was enjoyable. 

Afterward Nick wanted to go to a gelato place he loves called Devine, and it was indeed great. We sat outside on a nice day and talked about Nick helping SPL with tabling. What a helpful guy. I also had some kind of raspberry whiskey chocolate gelato that was excellent, and Nick told me to get some for Jack too--so I got him something with pistachio and something with caramel.

We headed back home but the day continued! Nick and Terrisa stayed for hours and especially Nick and I went back and forth on immigration, dating, and many other topics. I really enjoy talking to Nick because he's intelligent, his memory is unbelievable, he will concede points, he isn't put off by my own aggression, and he is very direct, fearless really. It's a specific kind of connection where we can both be relatively direct without the other having a hard time with it. So that's pretty great. Later--much later--Nick also went out and got us all In & Out for dinner, which is especially nice because Clara can have some of the fries because they are made in gluten free fryers.

Anyway it was a long and very pleasant visit.

11/3/18 - Nutcracker with Mom and Beth

Saturday. Jack went to work a 5 am shift and Mom, Clara, Jane, and I stayed in our pajamas for hours and had GF pancakes and hung out. Mom and I visited in between playing with the girls, who enjoyed the deflating air mattress.

Mom gave the girls a bath. Jane was over it quickly but Clara hung out for a long time. After Jane went down for a nap Mom got some good one-on-one time with Clara while Jack and I went up to Sac State to sign up for gym membership at the Well.

Right after we returned Mom and I went up to Cinemark 14 and met with Beth to see The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. Mom was impressed with the relatively new theater and the way they let you get your own drinks. She thought it was all more efficient (it is). She also was surprised at how large the reclining seats are; she said she felt like a little kid, haha. The movie started with the animated Disney opening (a train moving through a small town and the view zooms out and you see the Disney castle with a moat) but then it moved seamlessly from that onward to a snowy Christmasy Charles Dickens-type town. Approximately three seconds into the Christmasy scene, Mom leaned over and whispered "This is great!!" Lol. She's definitely the target audience for the movie.

I enjoyed seeing it. The acting was mediocre but the visuals were great and it was indeed very Christmas-themed. Love the Nutcracker music. And it was just nice to sit still and eat popcorn and raisnets and not try to get a million things done at once. So that was a lot of fun.

11.2.18 - Kid Snippets

Jack just left to take Jane to Beth's and Clara to preschool. This morning was an especially cute session of getting the two of them ready.

Jane woke up happy in her little car pajama set. While she was still in her crib I handed her the soft pink teddy bear (Erin), the elephant, and the white jingly teddy bear (Vera). Each one she grabbed and smooshed her face into. In Erin's case Jane gave her a big hug and lay on top of her. She really likes that teddy bear.

Clara usually wakes up more slowly and it's hit or miss whether she'll be in a good mood at first, but she was today. I picked out an autumnal shirt--dark blue with gold and pink leaves and flowers on it, and the gold ones were sparkly. I pointed all this out to Clara after I put the shirt on her, and she was very interested.

Instead of changing her the way I usually do, I took off her diaper and had her stand to pull up her the pull-up herself. She could use more practice. But at first she wasn't interested so she just stood there with only a shirt on giggling and turning around, and even though I wanted to be stern it was pretty cute and I kept laughing in spite of myself. After a minute or two she did go ahead and pull up both her diaper and her pink leggings. She still doesn't understand pulling up in front and back so instead she just pulls up from the front extra hard--basically to her waist--in the hopes the back will follow over her tiny butt. It's pretty funny.

Jane was unhappy when Jack put socks on her, but all I had to do was pretend my fingers were feet walking toward her and then tickle her once or twice and she giggled and forgot all about it. I started to do the same to Clara, who always perks up if I'm tickling or "getting" Jane, but as soon as I turned toward Clara she giggled and RAN out of the room into our bedroom and shut the door. Haha.

I went to get Clara's shoes and called for her to come but them on to no response. I went to look for her and didn't see her in our room but then she wasn't in the nursery. I went back and double checked the back of our walk in closet, where she often stands in my long shirts and dresses, but she wasn't there. Then I realized she was just lying quietly on the floor on Jack's side of the bed, waiting to be found. When I found her I asked her to get up and she jumped up and announced that she is a kangaroo and hopped around a bit. She came into the living room without trouble and let me put her shoes on. I also picked out a pullover hot pink and black jacket for her made of nylon, and I have to say she looked fabulous. I should've taken a picture.

Normally I carry Jane out the door but today she toddled out on her own. She hesitated when we got to the stairs so I picked her up. Yesterday she had noticed the moon in the early morning sky so today she was looking for it and of course found it immediately. She pointed to it and said "Ah!" "Yes, there's the moon!" "Mooo!" Then she saw a cat walking by in the parking lot below. I said "Oh it's a kitty! Meow!" and she grinned really big and cooed. Then she went back to pointing out the moon and some birds flew by. Geese, I think. I said "Oh there's some birds, tweet tweet!" and as they flew away she said "Bye dada!" (That's how she says goodbye to everything.) She repeated it a couple times in her sweet little voice, so cute. I can't stop kissing her cheeks. She just ignores me.

I put her in her car seat and shut the door and she looked a little bummed. So I breathed on the cold window and drew a smiley face, something I don't think they've seen before, and both she and Clara were impressed, lol. When I went around to say goodbye to Clara and shut her door, she asked "Window? Smile?" So I did the same on her window and she was excited.

Love these kids.

Pic at Beth's after Clara arrived from a home evaluation.