8.31.17 - August joy statuses

8.25.17 - "You are safe and you are loved."

Having a newborn really drives home just how much small children depend on their parents for everything. Jane is only just beginning to control her own body (starting to roll, successfully put her hands in her mouth, etc.). For most situations, if she has a problem her only recourse is to cry and hope someone does something about it. It's a shocking level of vulnerability.

Given my overwhelming love for her, I feel relieved and grateful that I'm in a position to help her when she needs it and take care of her well. Sometimes when she is crying, especially if I think she thinks she's been left alone, I pick her up and coo comforting thoughts in her ear, the number one being: "You are safe, and you are loved."

Of course she doesn't understand the content; that's for my benefit. It's as if I'm reassuring myself that my daughters are okay. And saying those ideas over and over has interesting effects on me: it makes me think about all the instances throughout time and geography when children were not safe and loved, even though I try not to. And those thoughts make me feel fiercely grateful that my children are okay, that I have a good husband who is a loving father, and that I'm able to provide my daughters a safe and comfortable home with more than they need.

It's amazing how profound and intense the love is for your own children. I love others, of course: Jack, my siblings, my parents, some of my closest friends. I care a lot about those relationships and how those people are doing. But it just doesn't feel anything like the love I have for Clara and Jane. And it's strange to think that this is how my parents have loved me. I love my parents but I had no idea it was like this for them.

I also think about how this feeling is likely how most parents feel about their children in most places and it's likely been true in most situations throughout history. I think about how all of us at some point started as innocent, adorable, vulnerable little babies. Even the worst of us, twisted adults who have since done terrible things: at one point just innocent little babies, many of whom were also profoundly loved by their parents. I feel as if the love of parents for their children is a nearly universal experience, one people with huge differences could potentially bond over.

It's certainly a major area of common ground for me with other moms I didn't previously have a lot in common with. I notice there are a couple FB friends I didn't interact with a lot before who I now trade likes with pretty regularly when it comes to post about our kiddos. Because we get it - we totally get why the other person would be so thrilled to post about milestones or cute faces or funny quotes. It's like having a lifelong crush you can't stop noticing and talking about, and it's wonderful. I'm happy to be experiencing it and I'm happy for my friends who are also relatively new parents getting to experience it too.

Parenthood is pretty amazing.

8.21.17 - Tichu Day (and solar eclipse)

Today was awesome.

First of all, any day that I take off calorie counting in the middle of a long bet feels like a mini vacation, and that was today.

Second, I enjoy when my newsfeed is filled with statuses about the same topic, especially when that topic is something pleasant like today: the solar eclipse.

And third, the main thing, we had Kale, Doug, and Henry up for a tichu day!

We planned this about a month and a half ago after the WallBQ in the bay area, and I've been looking forward to it. We had a nacho potluck (gluten free) and got in two full games of Tichu, which, if you know anything about Tichu, is kind of a feat. It's a long game.

It's a 4 player game and it was perfect that there were 5 of us (the three guests, Jack, and me) because that leaves Jack and me to rotate and take care of hosting and taking care of Jane (Clara was with Beth). And Jane was extremely cooperative, falling asleep just before the guys arrived, staying asleep for the first full game, and only waking up just seconds after we finished. Then I nursed her, she hung out with us for an hour or so, then she fell asleep in her swing again and is still asleep even as I type this, a few minutes after everyone just left. So Jane was pretty perfect.

So last night and especially this morning Jack and I cleaned pretty much the whole apartment. It usually takes guests for us to get it to this level of clean but it feels so good when we do. We even clean the back rooms even though they are very unlikely to go back there. Jack actually did most of it, so I'm grateful for that.

The solar eclipse was happening just as the guys were arriving and Jack tried several times to look at it, all with painful and slightly funny results.

Also I got Sarah W's Ravenclaw quilt for Jane and it's beautiful.

The guys arrived with fruit juice and cherry Coke and chips and gauc and salsa and sour cream. We already had the rest of the nacho ingredients: chicken, black olives, yellow corn, black beans, bell peppers, and of course a ton of cheddar cheese. Oh and Henry brought some pretty excellent flaky Parmesan too.

Jack sat in a few rounds while I made the nachos and visited from the kitchen (advantage of a small apartment: cross-room conversations aren't much of a feat). Once the nachos were in the oven I took a turn and we switched on and off for a while. Jack and Kale were losing at first and then we turned it around while I was playing, so that was fun. I even got a decent exciting moment on camera (Jack mad Doug made his Tichu), which I usually miss in Tichu games.

We also had time to talk a bit of politics and relationships and other things, and that was pretty nice. At one point Doug said he thought I gave good advice (in a particular story) and I thought that was flattering. And of course it's easy to make all three of those guys laugh, but especially Kale, and I love that. I sipped half cherry Coke half Diet Coke the whole time, and it was delicious.

Overall a relaxing and fun day with friends I don't get to see much but pretty much always enjoy when I do.

8.19.17 - Errata joys

(Jen R)

8.17.17 - Revolution Wines

Beth and I finally got to hang out together. We went to Revolution Wines on a beautiful summer evening. We sat on the patio and ordered some wine and small plates from the Happy Hour menu plus some more of each based on a Groupon Beth treated us to. And we just sat and talked for hours.

I'm in the midst of a 6-week long bet with Julie and I had taken 24 hours off calorie counting just for this occasion. My 24 hours of freedom ended at 9pm, and since we had planned to meet at Revolution Wines at 6pm I thought for sure we would be done and I'd already be home by then. But nope, not quite. We talked so much that we didn't even leave the winery until about 9:20pm or so. But I'm glad for the pleasant surprise.

We talked a lot about our families and our husbands, and not as much as I would've expected about our kids (maybe because we already talk about them all the time). I got a nice buzz going for the first time in forever and the weather was perfect. We also had good timing because when we first arrived the place wasn't too busy, and it got busier as we stayed. And of course they had white string lights around the patio as it got dark. I love that. And Sacramento has blessedly few mosquitoes; in fact I don't think I saw even one.

It was such a nice evening. So great to be able to sit and relax and enjoy an uninterrupted adult conversation.

8.9.17 - Clara and Jane tidbits

This morning in the nursery I showed Clara how the sun going through the blinds was making a light and dark striped pattern on the carpet. She started at the pattern without reacting for a moment, then whispered "Wow!" Very sweet.

Later the trash truck came by. I stood her on the toy box and she moved the blinds aside to watch as the truck lifted the huge dumpster and then backed up, turned around, and drove through the apartment complex parking lot. She was fascinated, saying "oh wow!" and "train!" over and over.

Jack and I both think Clara is making good progress with speech. In the last week or two I've made her a bunch of vocab videos for objects around the house; I did one video for each room. Now every room we go into, she likes to name the objects she knows, and she seems very excited about being able to do so. I enjoy it too, because it's another way for us to interact. Her favorite objects right now are clocks (probably because there is one in every room), fans (which she currently pronounces as something like "fi-at"), the soap on the bathroom sink (which she likes to carry around while repeating "soap!"), and, by far, the microwave. I think it might be her only 3-syllable word so far ("micwowafe"). There are other 3 syllable words and phrases but she usually omits the 2nd syllable ("raw chaiw" for rocking chair, "pow-tow" for tomato, etc.) She will say "micwowafe" over and over for, I don't know, 10 minutes at a time with increasing excitement. So that's her thing right now.

Making sure I'm watching her as she comes up the steps after getting home from Beth's.

She's also starting to use some action words (besides "jump," which she has been using consistently for a couple months). In the last week she's really grasped that "up" means we will usually pick her up. I'm starting to train her to say "up please" but so far she only manages to say one or the other. She's also, just in the last 2-3 days, started bringing me her sippy cup and saying "more" for more juice. This is major progress because we've been trying to get her to say "more" in context for months and it's finally happening. I just added an "open and close" vocab video to her playlist, so we'll see if we can continue the verb trend.

Elephant Hat.

Jane is as fat and smiley as ever. I can't remember absolutely, but I am pretty sure Jane is smilier than even Clara was. We are down to only one feeding in the middle of the night now, and I enjoy how she just yelps a bit (instead of full crying), and then once I go get her she is very active and squirmy and smiley. It's like 4am and she's just so darn happy to see me (probably because it means she's about to eat). She also seems more patient than she used to be; instead of crying until she gets some food, she just kind of squirms around as I get set up and then goes to it. It's so cool to watch little babies learn routines. I also enjoy how, at least for her middle-of-the-night feeding, once she's done eating she just passes out on my shoulder. Completely. Limp. And then she goes right to sleep in her crib. I don't think she's fussed going back down after that feeding in two weeks. Both of my girls have eased into sleeping through the night without much difficulty. We are very lucky!

Sleeping in my lap right after finishing eating.

I kiss Jane's cheeks over and over again all day long. Often I kiss them at such an angle that my nose is touching her mouth, and she tries to suck on it. I love the smell of her baby milk breath.

About once a day when I put her in the swing (because she seems like she's getting a bit tired) she'll start fussing. So I sit right in front of her and just monologue in a soothing voice until she falls asleep. I tell her all the things I love about her, which would make a mini joy inventory on their own. They usually include:

• her fuzzy head and button nose and Buddha cheeks and heart-shaped tongue
• her chubby arms and fatty thighs and big tummy and little butt
• what a good eater she is
• what a good sleeper she is
• her frequent smiles
• her coos and squeals
• the way she kicks and flails her arms when she's excited

Look at that fat neck!

Mom bought a bouncy chair for Jane and it's been very helpful. The routine now is for Jane to wake up in the morning, eat, hang out on the dining table bassinet, hang out on the living room floor, and then hang out in the kitchen in the bouncy seat. This rotation keeps her busy for 1.5-2 hours, and then usually she's ready for her morning nap in the swing for 1-2 hours. It's nice to have a schedule, and it's nice to have the bouncy seat because it adds more locations for her to sit and look around before she gets bored. Today I also put her in the bouncy seat in the nursery while Clara and I played with Duplos, and Jane just watched us and hung out for probably over 20 minutes. So helpful.

The girls and Jack Skyping with the Jacksons.

I also notice Jane will last longer (as in not fuss) in one location if Clara is home and if she can see Clara. Clara is pretty mobile and loud, and it seems to really interest Jane, who just stares and stares. So Clara is helping out even if she doesn't realize it. Sometimes Clara will stand in front of Jane (in her bouncy seat) and just say Jane's name over and over again while pointing and waving her arms around and doing her excited finger movements, and of course Jane just stares at her. I love it. I'm already so glad we have siblings.

Mom & Jane selfie