6.6.17 - Clara and Jane update

I had more time when Clara was an newborn to record what it was like staying home with her. It was also a wholly new experience, making me more keen to capture it. Even so I want to remember Jane's beginning too.

The biggest difference between the two is that Jane is almost exclusively breastfed. I am really glad that's working out. It's a lot simpler than both pumping and feeding, and it does feel like more of a bond than bottle feeding (though I have nothing against that either). Jane has been slightly congested for about 2 weeks now ever since she caught some kind of sniffle Clara had. The congestion doesn't prevent her from feeding so I am not really worried about it, but it does make her breathing much more audible. When she's hungry she starts rooting and if I don't feed her pretty quickly she starts crying, but once I put her in the position to breastfeed she must know that means she's about to be satisfied, because she usually stops crying and starts breathing rapidly, as if she's excited. The congestion makes it sound like she's snorting like a little piglet. It's like she's rooting for truffles or something. It's actually totally adorable. Combine that with the fact that she seems to want to eat all the time and the piggy impression is complete.

I like to watch her cheeks puff in and out and her throat move as she swallows. I also like the way she purses her lips when she's done, as if to make her mouth as small and shut as possible. She often does this sort of post-feed stretch, always with her eyes shut, flinging her arms over her head and sticking her chin up.

Right: the face Jane makes when she doesn't want to eat anymore.

Jane is only 3.5 weeks old, but I've already tried letting her cry it out a bit from time to time. It's not that I want to per se, it's that I feel a lot of pressure to get other things done, especially paid work, while she's sleeping, but that's very hard to do if she's always sleeping on me. I think she's too little to cry it out, though, or maybe I'm just not ready for it, because I can barely make it 10 minutes, at the most, before picking her up. And whenever I pick her up I feel so relieved to be able to hold her and comfort her, and also endeared to her that she usually stops crying almost immediately and just rests her little fuzzy head on my shoulder. I know this is how probably just about all babies are, but some part of me still feels honored that she finds me so immediately comforting and I take pleasure in being able to comfort her.

The only place she wants to be: sleeping on me.

All of this Jane bonding time means I don't get to spend as much time and attention on Clara. Fortunately she has Beth and Jack to do that, and I think it's been a good phase for her and Jack in particular. Two nights ago after he put her to bed, Jack came into our room to tell me how much he loves our girls.

Even so, I miss Clara a bit, so I find it all the more delightful when I get to spend a little time with her sans Jane. Usually this takes the form of reading Clara a few stories while she sits in my lap. I tried to teach her to say either "more" or "read" when she wants me to read a story again, but she would say "more" and I would say "okay!" a little too consistently, so now when she wants me to read a story again she hands me the book and just says "okay!" Haha. If I try to redirect, asking her "more?" she just repeats "okay!" Oh well, she'll figure it out eventually.

I particularly enjoy reading "Pete the Cat (Wheels on the Bus)" to her because she mimics all the hand gestures I do for each page (wheels turning, wipers swishing, honking the horn, etc.) She also is really into "Hello Ninja" right now. Luckily it's very short so rereading it even 5 or more times doesn't take that long.

For a while now, whenever Jack or I are getting ready to put Clara to bed, we carry her to the other parent so she can kiss them good night. In the last few nights she's started pushing our faces toward each other so we'll kiss each other good night too, and then she always looks so thrilled when we do. So now the tradition is for Jack and me to kiss each other, and then both kiss her on each cheek. I love it.

Also, today is only my third or fourth time being home with the two girls. I'm starting to get a rhythm. Of course the trickiest part is when I need to feed Jane, because I am basically immobile. I've been shutting Clara into my bedroom with us so I can keep an eye on her. Today before I got set up, I brought in a few books, a forgotten toy from her toy box, her sippy cup, and a bowl of apple slices. I put them all on the hope chest, the closest thing to a table at Clara's height.

When I shut her in with us she did a great job. I was able to feed Jane and even watch one of my Netflix shows while Clara ate the apple and pretended to read to herself and just self-entertained. She's generally very good about that. I was having a hard time even focusing on my Netflix show because I was so enjoying seeing both of my girls at the same time, both happy doing what they were doing. Plus it's a relief to be starting to get some kind of rhythm with staying home with them.