5.19.17 - Summary of Don & Merlene's visit

Don & Merlene got here on my due date, May 11, and stayed until yesterday (May 18).

As always when they visit, they were a tremendous help the entire time. Merlene made so many meals and snacks that when they left our fridge was overflowing. In particular she made tortellini twice - once for dinner and once the morning they were leaving so she could freeze some for us to have later.

She had plenty of room to freeze the tortellini because she and Don surprised us and bought us a mini freezer for our dining room. Jack and I had been talking about how we wish we had more freezer room because soon most of our freezer will be taken over by freezing breast milk. Well while we were at the hospital having Jane, they went out and picked up a mini freezer and got it set up for us. Then they took a picture of it and showed it to us when they came to visit us in the hospital. Such a thoughtful and useful gift! I'm quite excited about it.

I originally wasn't sure if it would be better to aim for Don & Merlene to get here before or after Jane was born. I didn't want them to get here when Jane wasn't here yet and miss out on time to spend with her. On the other hand Jack still had finals the week after Jane's due date and I wanted to make sure we had plenty of help to facilitate him studying. So we opted to have them come out on Jane's actual due date, and in retrospect that was a great idea.

First, I was so very pregnant by then that we could use the help anyway. Second, it meant that when I did go into labor, Jack and I were able to leave for the hospital as soon as we needed to, because Don and Merlene were already staying at our apartment and were available to take care of Clara. I'm so glad it worked out that way, because I originally expected to labor at home for 6-8 hours like I did with Clara, but this labor was much faster. We were leaving for the hospital less than two hours after my contractions began. I was glad we didn't need to wait for someone to come over for Clara, and we didn't need to take Clara with us to the hospital.

Also, I was glad we had Don & Merlene here to give Clara plenty of attention. I wouldn't want her to feel neglected as Jack and I are preoccupied with a newborn. Fortunately she had plenty of play time with her GPa and Mimi and she seemed to really enjoy it. In fact I think I missed Clara more than she missed me, which is fine with me.

Don and Merlene took Clara to a 5K while Jack and I were at the hospital having Jane.

I'm grateful for how matter of fact and unperturbed Merlene and especially Jack are about the facts of post-birth recovery. On more than one occasion, Merlene ran out and got me various odds and ends to help me with that. It also just made me a lot more comfortable not feeling as if I had to pretend to feel better than I did or more put together than I was.

I'm also grateful for Don's handiness. While they were here he and Merlene steam cleaned all our carpets, and he sealed our front door screen (to prevent mosquitoes at night) and installed a new toilet seat that comes with a trainer sized seat for toddlers. These are the kinds of projects Jack and I have the capability to do, but definitely not the time or energy. They are also the kind of projects that make a big difference day after day, lasting and helping long after we've eaten all the frozen dinners they made us.

Trying to do a family photo, laughing because Don had to hurry from the camera to get in the photo.

They also paid for basically everything the whole time they were here: groceries, supplies, the rental fee for the steam cleaner, etc. I made a few comments about how I didn't want them to feel obligated and I could tell it would add up, and Merlene pointed out that they saved a lot by not having to get a hotel and instead staying with us, so that helped make up for it. That made me feel a bit better. Either way I'm very grateful, especially since right now I am not working much at all so our income is low.

Because of Don & Merlene, for the first five days of Jane's life I was able to focus almost exclusively on feeding her and resting and recovering without worry about the household duties or Clara. And Jack was able to study for his last tests without worrying too much about helping me (although he still has been a big help). Makes such a huge difference. Their visits are definitely in my joy inventory.