5.31.17 - May joy statuses

5.28.17 - Singing to Clara

Clara seemed like she wasn't feeling well several times yesterday - GI problems maybe. Then last night not long before bed time she started holding her tummy and crying. We think she was having bad cramps or gas or something, although it would help if she could talk to tell us. Obviously this situation is not a joy, but I'm writing about it in my joy inventory because it gave me a chance to bond with her, something that has been rare the last two weeks since Jane was born (and basically constantly wants to eat).

I'm glad Dad was around because (1) he was able to hold Jane so I could take Clara and (2) he suggested Clara lay on her stomach, saying that position made him feel better if he had bad GI problems. I can't verbally explain this to Clara, but she was more than happy to run into my arms and cuddle, so after carrying her around for awhile I went into the nursery and laid down on her bed on my back, meaning she was lying on me on her stomach. That did seem to calm her down. She stopped crying and just laid there quietly and I rubbed her back and shoulders and told her it would be okay over and over.

Clara napping 5/24, taken right after we found out she has celiac.

Jane fell asleep and Dad put her in the crib and headed back to the hotel. I changed Clara to a night time diaper while she was still in bed (even just turning her on her back to change her made her cry, so I just went as quickly as possible and flipped her back over). Then for 20 or 30 minutes Clara quietly laid either on me or next to me and I rubbed her back and sang to her. Eventually Jack came in and put a water bottle in her bed and turned off the light, and she and I just laid staring at each other in the dark. I sang her "I am Moana," "Rainbow Connection," "You Don't Know Me," and "The Way You Look Tonight," and she mostly just stared at me with her little round face and her big round eyes. When I sang "I am Moana" she very softly sang along at the end.

There needs to be a word for when your heart is breaking but because you're happy, not sad. That's how I felt because I love her so much.

5.25.17 - Mom's visit

It was really nice having Mom out.

She got to spend a lot of time with Clara, which I know they both really enjoyed. She took Clara to the playground and the apartment complex pool.

Everyone has the same face in this picture.

They played games together like "Horsey Horsey" and sang songs and Mom gave Clara a couple baths.

Mom made Clara a tent fort under the dining room table.

 

I know Mom loves to get to spend time with her grandkids, and I am grateful Clara had people to pay attention to her while Jack and I were so preoccupied adjusting to Jane.

Clara enjoys Jama's hat.

Sporting the sunglasses Jama got her. Even checking herself out in the mirror.

Mom also made a bunch of my favorite recipes for dinners: chicken stir fry, fettuccine, and spinach sausage loaf. In each case she made enough for dinner and then more for us to freeze in the new mini freezer Don and Merlene got us. On top of that, she made some truly delicious citrusy wine drinks - half Sauvignon Blanc or Riesling and half pineapple juice with some ice and fresh strawberries and other fruits thrown in. They were excellent.

One morning Mom dropped Clara off with Beth but then took a really long time getting home. I eventually called her to make sure everything was okay, and it turned out she had taken my car to get detail cleaned! That was very sweet. My stress goes way down when everything is clean (and vice versa). Mom said it was funny to be at the cleaning place with all these much newer and nicer cars. She also thought the guys cleaning my old beat up Corolla were amused by how excited Mom was about it. So that was very sweet. It hasn't looked that good probably since I bought it 6 years ago.

At different points Mom ran errands for us, which was super helpful. In particular she found me three solid color ultra comfortable flexible tank tops at Target. I've been wearing them almost nonstop. They aren't actual nursing tops but they are flexible enough I can nurse in them, and I pretty much only want to wear sleeveless clothes at this point (it was in the high 90s almost the whole time Mom was here, ugh). She really hit the nail on the head with those tanks.

She also wanted me to have a chance to get out of the apartment. It really doesn't bother me much to be in the apartment a lot--especially when other people are helping keep it clean. But I didn't want to miss the chance for free babysitting for a date with Jack, so one afternoon he and I went to Leatherby's to enjoy fries and ice cream. It was nice to get out of the apartment but I also was getting sore by the end, as my tolerance for movement is still relatively low.

Pouting because there is no way I could finish all that ice cream.

I also like how Mom takes so many pictures and videos. It's nice to have a chronicler around besides me, and it's nice to actually be in some of the pictures.

The last day she was here, Mom talked me into taking Jane and going with Mom and Clara to the playground. It was a nice day for it, actually. I mostly just sat next to Jane, who was sleeping in her car seat. She did eventually wake up and I nursed her. That's my first time ever doing that in public. No one said anything to me and at one point a young girl (maybe 5) came up to check out Jane and her father explained "That's a little baby, isn't it?" He showed no signs of being at all bothered by me nursing Jane right there, and I actually found that very encouraging. Imagine if everyone were that comfortable and cavalier about it.

5.19.17 - Summary of Don & Merlene's visit

Don & Merlene got here on my due date, May 11, and stayed until yesterday (May 18).

As always when they visit, they were a tremendous help the entire time. Merlene made so many meals and snacks that when they left our fridge was overflowing. In particular she made tortellini twice - once for dinner and once the morning they were leaving so she could freeze some for us to have later.

She had plenty of room to freeze the tortellini because she and Don surprised us and bought us a mini freezer for our dining room. Jack and I had been talking about how we wish we had more freezer room because soon most of our freezer will be taken over by freezing breast milk. Well while we were at the hospital having Jane, they went out and picked up a mini freezer and got it set up for us. Then they took a picture of it and showed it to us when they came to visit us in the hospital. Such a thoughtful and useful gift! I'm quite excited about it.

I originally wasn't sure if it would be better to aim for Don & Merlene to get here before or after Jane was born. I didn't want them to get here when Jane wasn't here yet and miss out on time to spend with her. On the other hand Jack still had finals the week after Jane's due date and I wanted to make sure we had plenty of help to facilitate him studying. So we opted to have them come out on Jane's actual due date, and in retrospect that was a great idea.

First, I was so very pregnant by then that we could use the help anyway. Second, it meant that when I did go into labor, Jack and I were able to leave for the hospital as soon as we needed to, because Don and Merlene were already staying at our apartment and were available to take care of Clara. I'm so glad it worked out that way, because I originally expected to labor at home for 6-8 hours like I did with Clara, but this labor was much faster. We were leaving for the hospital less than two hours after my contractions began. I was glad we didn't need to wait for someone to come over for Clara, and we didn't need to take Clara with us to the hospital.

Also, I was glad we had Don & Merlene here to give Clara plenty of attention. I wouldn't want her to feel neglected as Jack and I are preoccupied with a newborn. Fortunately she had plenty of play time with her GPa and Mimi and she seemed to really enjoy it. In fact I think I missed Clara more than she missed me, which is fine with me.

Don and Merlene took Clara to a 5K while Jack and I were at the hospital having Jane.

I'm grateful for how matter of fact and unperturbed Merlene and especially Jack are about the facts of post-birth recovery. On more than one occasion, Merlene ran out and got me various odds and ends to help me with that. It also just made me a lot more comfortable not feeling as if I had to pretend to feel better than I did or more put together than I was.

I'm also grateful for Don's handiness. While they were here he and Merlene steam cleaned all our carpets, and he sealed our front door screen (to prevent mosquitoes at night) and installed a new toilet seat that comes with a trainer sized seat for toddlers. These are the kinds of projects Jack and I have the capability to do, but definitely not the time or energy. They are also the kind of projects that make a big difference day after day, lasting and helping long after we've eaten all the frozen dinners they made us.

Trying to do a family photo, laughing because Don had to hurry from the camera to get in the photo.

They also paid for basically everything the whole time they were here: groceries, supplies, the rental fee for the steam cleaner, etc. I made a few comments about how I didn't want them to feel obligated and I could tell it would add up, and Merlene pointed out that they saved a lot by not having to get a hotel and instead staying with us, so that helped make up for it. That made me feel a bit better. Either way I'm very grateful, especially since right now I am not working much at all so our income is low.

Because of Don & Merlene, for the first five days of Jane's life I was able to focus almost exclusively on feeding her and resting and recovering without worry about the household duties or Clara. And Jack was able to study for his last tests without worrying too much about helping me (although he still has been a big help). Makes such a huge difference. Their visits are definitely in my joy inventory.

5.6.17 - Baby "Sprinkle" (mini baby shower)

Erin has asked me more than once over the last few months whether I'd have a baby shower for Jane. I never planned on it because to my mind baby showers are mostly just for the first baby when you don't already own a lot of the supplies you need. Since having Clara we've vastly expanded our baby/toddler supplies to where another baby shower seems, I don't know, maybe greedy? I considered doing a "shower" that was just diapers and wipes (also Erin's suggestion, I think) but I've been too preoccupied to set it up, and I forgot about it.

So today (39 weeks and 2 days) Erin came over for a visit, and she brought with her:

1. A big box of ultra sensitive baby wipes
2. A box of 132 newborn sized diapers.
3. A bottle of some kind of fancy sparkling fruit juice, and
4. A wrapped gift with three white balloons and one "It's a Baby Girl!" balloon attached.

She said it was my mini baby shower just with her. I thought it was absolutely the sweetest most thoughtful gesture. We each had a glass of the fruit juice (after a "cheers!") and Clara really loved the balloons. She's seen balloons in grocery stores and things but I don't think she's ever had a chance to play with helium balloons before. They kept her busy for a very long time. They also made her hair very static-y, which was funny.

The wrapped gift was actually for Clara - several bath sponges decorated like bunnies and some bath-friendly books. Very thoughtful, given Clara has been having a hard time with baths and new distractions help.

So that was definitely the highlight of my day, but the rest of the visit with Erin was lovely too. She told me all about her bridal shower and showed me the scrapbook her mom and maid of honor put together. She also had pics and videos on her phone to show me. It looked like it was a lot of fun. I worked on (finally) my spring 2015 scrapbook while we visited and she made a very cute sign for one of her wedding crafts - a "honey pot" for donations since they aren't asking for gifts.

It was also nice working on the spring 2015 scrapbook, because that's when Clara was born and brand new, and it helps remind me of what we're about to get into - both the difficulties but also the cuteness and newness. Gotta say I'm also looking forward to having so many people come cook for us. Even when I'm not pregnant I don't cook that often, and Merlene, Mom, and Jill (and really also Don and Dad) are all great cooks. And given how much calorie counting I've been doing throughout this pregnancy, I think it will seem especially delicious!

The main point, though, is that Erin is a wonderful friend. <3

5.5.17 - Pre-Jane date night

Clara spent the night at Beth's so Jack and I could go see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. I've been looking forward to this movie for months, pretty much since the trailer came out. Originally when we were going to have a c-section with Jane, it would have been the day before the movie came out and I'd have to wait until I was recovered and we had someone we trusted to watch Jane. But since I'm aiming for VBAC and I'm not due until next week, I decided it was worth the risk to buy tickets in advance for this movie.

So Jack and I went to the local theater, the one that has recently been wholly remodeled, the one that has cushioned chairs that recline and have footrests and are so large and cozy. We went to Walgreens first and bought four boxes of Raisinets for $4 and hid them in my purse. We walked in and scanned my phone at some kiosk that printed out our tickets (the future!) and then we bought a gigantic Diet Coke. Jack put no ice in it because he knows I like it that way (it's the little things).

Usually the commercials and ads for TV they show before the previews are underwhelming, and many of them were last night. However I did really enjoy this commercial from Samsung. I thought it was cute, humorous, and also a little poignant.

We went to our reserved seats and it was actually a little chilly, so Jack ran out and got his sweatshirt from the car for me. Another sweet gesture. We also drank all of our giant Diet Coke and he went to get a refill before the movie started.

It's the first time in awhile I've been to a movie on a Friday night, much less a new and very popular movie. The theater was pretty full and people were clearly excited - even a little bit of applause when the movie started.

And it was very enjoyable! Like many Marvel movies, the plot was "meh," but it made me laugh out loud plenty of times. I enjoy the characters.

And the seats in the theater are so comfortable - it's especially nice to be able to put my feet up at the end of the pregnancy here when they keep getting swollen by the end of the day.

After we came home Jack took a post-39-week photo or two of me for posterity. I made the face on the left, which made him laugh, which made me laugh, which is the face on the right.