8.2.16 - Clara plays with parents

There are so many ways Clara delights me and I wish I could remember all of them.

Tonight Jack and I were lying on our bed while she sat between us and would alternate between climbing on one of us or the other and rubbing her head in our chests and being super cuddly. Then for awhile she'd stick her face in between both of ours and we'd kiss her on both cheeks until she sat up again. And she'd laugh and then stick her face between ours again for more kisses. We did that for awhile. At some point she climbed onto me so that her legs were straddled around my neck and she was squeezing my face between her knees and I was laughing so hard at her little toddler wrestling moves I was crying. Jack was near that point too, just watching. We played around this way for probably 15 minutes or so, and it was not only funny but pretty touching. Just the three of us.

I'm also delighted at how her incoherent babbling is becoming slightly more coherent. She's more clearly trying to mimic us more often, and she also tries to sing "ABCs" now ("Ah Bah...bah bah bah"). In particular, after I finish singing the ABCs at the end of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, she'll take the book herself and start pointing to the letters and trying to sing the ABCs. So studious.

She had a lot to say to me in the bath tonight, trying new ways to make sounds wih her mouth, looking me right in the eyes and babbling with such conviction. I stopped pretending to respond and just listened for awhile, marveling that this kid is mine.

I remember not long after Clara was born I watched some TED talk about how parents achieve higher peaks of happiness than non-parents, but the parental average happiness is lower. Maybe that's true on average, or more true in the beginning, I'm not sure--I remember thinking it resonated with how I felt then, with Clara. Very very high peaks but also a lot of stress (and sleep deprivation). But then I was thinking tonight I no longer feel that way. Sure, there's plenty I miss about a childless life--mostly to do with getting things done and sleep and cleanliness--but there's so much I love about being a parent, so many delightful moments, that I feel the average happiness, as it were, has risen as we've gone on.