Tonight I listened to a CD I'd made over Christmas break in 2007. I don't know when I listened to the CD last, but it's been years. It played in the background while I sat on the couch feeding Clara for a good 20 or 30 minutes, and I reminisced on that time period. I was still at City College. I still had time to visit MO for nearly a month over Christmas. My friends, like me, were in their early twenties and, for the most part, weren't married, weren't done with school, didn't have kids either. We stayed up very late visiting, usually hanging out in the basement of Mom's old house.
For awhile I thought about those memories and what that phase felt like, and then I realized it won't be long before that time was a full decade ago. Stunning. I know life speeds up as we age--it's been doing that my whole life, just like everyone else's. Still, it's amazing to have such clear memories of certain times and then realize how long ago they were already, and they're only going to keep stretching away.
And that made me think about how soon it'll be a decade from now. Clara will be 10 years old, in 5th grade or so. And I'll find some other calm moment, and listen to some music I associate with this year (2015) and think about how she was just a tiny little baby I could hold in my arms, who would grab my fingers to pull toward her mouth or would fall asleep on my shoulder. I spend a lot of my days home alone with Clara doing the same things each day. But I already know that for the rest of my life I'm going to look back nostalgically on the phase when my babies *were* babies, and that thought helps me really enjoy (nearly) every moment now.
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