5.22.15 - Goodbye Stranger, It's Been Nice!

Tonight I listened to a CD I'd made over Christmas break in 2007. I don't know when I listened to the CD last, but it's been years. It played in the background while I sat on the couch feeding Clara for a good 20 or 30 minutes, and I reminisced on that time period. I was still at City College. I still had time to visit MO for nearly a month over Christmas. My friends, like me, were in their early twenties and, for the most part, weren't married, weren't done with school, didn't have kids either. We stayed up very late visiting, usually hanging out in the basement of Mom's old house.

For awhile I thought about those memories and what that phase felt like, and then I realized it won't be long before that time was a full decade ago. Stunning. I know life speeds up as we age--it's been doing that my whole life, just like everyone else's. Still, it's amazing to have such clear memories of certain times and then realize how long ago they were already, and they're only going to keep stretching away.

And that made me think about how soon it'll be a decade from now. Clara will be 10 years old, in 5th grade or so. And I'll find some other calm moment, and listen to some music I associate with this year (2015) and think about how she was just a tiny little baby I could hold in my arms, who would grab my fingers to pull toward her mouth or would fall asleep on my shoulder. I spend a lot of my days home alone with Clara doing the same things each day. But I already know that for the rest of my life I'm going to look back nostalgically on the phase when my babies *were* babies, and that thought helps me really enjoy (nearly) every moment now.

5.21.15 - Milestones everywhere!

Today was an especially pleasant one to spend at home with Clara.

Jack worked 7a - 4p. Clara was up around 6am and he took her at first, then I took over as he got ready for work. She went back to sleep around 7am and didn't really get back up until 10:30am, so I got to sleep in too, which is nice. Even after that she ate and I changed her and then she slept another couple hours, giving me time to do plenty of other things. I made a huge bowl of pasta salad and cleaned the kitchen. I did a little bit of paid work for the professor I work for. I got to pump in peace without her getting bored or fussy. It was really nice.

When she did finally get up she kept lifting her hips in the air and twisting to and fro, something we've noticed the last couple days. Jack mentioned earlier that it might be her attempt to start rolling over. Sure enough, only 10 minutes after I sent a picture of her hip twists to the grandparents, she rolled to her side and back! I was clearly more excited about this than she was, as she barely even reacted and just kept gumming her fists, but still, it was awesome. I quickly got the video camera and was lucky enough to capture her doing it a second time so that I could show Jack later when he got home. :)

So exciting!

She also started to take more swings at the little jungle animals hanging off her play set. At the beginning of the day it looked as if she was doing this almost accidentally, but by the end of this evening it was decidedly purposeful, which is pretty awesome. It's amazing watching her explore and learn already. One of the baby books I read while I was pregnant described babies as "little scientists" who experiment with everything as they figure things out, and that's exactly how I like to think of Clara.

Also, sometime today the FB page A Mighty Girl posted a link to their top 100 book picks for mighty girls. I got some time to peruse that link, and from there other links on Amazon and Goodreads, and I ended up picking out a bunch of books I would like to read to Clara as she gets older. I'm really excited about some of them, especially one called "You Are Stardust." One of the parents who reviewed it included some pictures of the illustrations, and it looks really beautiful. Can't wait to save a little extra to buy it for Clara. :)

Picking out all those books got me excited about reading to her, so we spread out on the living room floor and I read her "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" and "I'm Not Going To Get Up Today," both childhood favorites of mine. Obviously she can't understand any of the words yet, but she sat quietly and looked at the pictures the whole time for both books, which I think is impressive for one so little. I hope I'm already instilling a love of reading in her. I'm definitely instilling a love of reading to her, for me. Haha.

I feel very lucky to get to be home with her and watch her grow like this, and very lucky that Jack works so close by and can see her on meal breaks and doesn't take long to get home after work. Such a great phase in our lives.

5.18.15 - Supportive husband

Today Jack came home during his meal break, as he nearly always does, to watch Clara while I pumped. While he was home he also told me he really appreciates how he can go to work and know that I am taking care of Clara and our apartment and keeping things running at home. He also said he appreciates how much time it takes me to pump so we can feed her exclusively breast milk. It means a lot to me that he tells me he notices and appreciates it. It reassures me that we're partners, and equals, even though he brings in nearly all the money right now. What a sweet guy.

Taken two nights ago: goofing with Clara.

"Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?"

Archer is a surprisingly funny show.

5.10.15 - First Mother's Day

Today was my first Mother's Day, and that fact alone kinda tickled me. Jack had mentioned a few days ago that he was a little anxious about making it special for me. I thought it was sweet that (a) he cared enough to be anxious and (b) that he told me. I told him that I really just want some kind of acknowledgement, doesn't have to be anything elaborate.

He had to work 7a - 4p. But it was still a really nice day. Clara slept in until almost noon, so I got to sleep until I naturally wanted to wake, which was maybe the best gift anyone could give me. Good job, 2-month-old daughter.

"Love you, Mom! Zzzzzzz"

I hung out with her all day and her cute self. 

Getting ready to read "But No Elephants!"

I got a card and Starbucks gift card from Don & Merlene (very sweet). I also Skyped with them and the rest of the family for awhile. Clara fell asleep in my arms, which was hilarious. And friends of mine texted and FB messaged me all day wishing me a happy first Mother's Day. :)

When Jack got home we went to Starbucks for their last day of frappuccino happy hour. It was Clara's first time in a Starbucks, yayyy. 

Behold, Clara - you're 2nd home!

We then went to the park and sat and watched all the people there for Mother's Day picnics. There were a bunch of young boys playing soccer, including a boy so little the soccer ball went up to his knees. He was awful but he didn't seem to care. There was also a family just a few yards away from us. The dad was wrestling around with his 5-ish year old son, who was laughing hysterically. The son would hide behind his mom and then the dad would "wrestle" the mom to the ground and all three of them were laughing. It was ridiculously adorable.

After we got home, Clara cuddled and slept on me while Jack went to get groceries for dinner. 

She woke up before he got home and I took her on a walk around the apartment complex. The sun had just set so it was still light out but no direct sunlight making her lurch away like she does. She stared and stared at the trees in the breeze, at the sky, at some flowers in the parking lot. She was almost entirely silent the whole time except for a satisfied little sigh she gave now and then. It was really sweet. At one point some neighbors were heading back to their apartment from picking up some food; they had a boy who looked to be about 3 who was fascinated with Clara and kept walking toward her. Eventually he turned around and waved goodbye as he headed back to his mom. It was really cute.

Jack came home and we Skyped again with Don and Merlene while Jack made dinner. Then Clara kindly fell asleep in her swing while Jack and I enjoyed chicken tortellini and garlic bread and Moscato. It's the first time I've felt buzzed since last spring. I think it's really sweet that Jack put so much effort in. He makes me feel very loved.

Overall, great first Mother's Day!

Clara smiles