12.31.20 - Kid snippets - Clara interested in date night

I told Clara yesterday that Dad and I were going to have a living room date tonight. She wanted me to put the fake yellow roses she got me for Christmas in a vase for our date. She also asked me if Dad and I would kiss at the end of the date. I said maybe. Tonight I read the kids only one story book because, I told them, I wanted them to go to bed so Dad and I could have our date. Clara wanted to first draw me a heart that she could color and cut out and I could use to decorate for our date, but I said no, it's time for bed.

Jack left to pick up our food, and shortly after Clara came out to use the bathroom, then changed her mind, then changed her mind again.

Me: Clara, you better make up your mind because you have to go to bed. I don't want you coming out of your room over and over again for my date. A "date" means Mom and Dad and **no kids**
Clara: Okay, but when I grow up can I have a date?
Me: Yes, you probably can
Clara: Yes and when I grow up and Hunter grows up, we can have a date
Me: We'll see. Go back to bed.

I go into the kitchen for something. Clara pokes her head around the corner to watch me.

Me: Clara, *what are you doing*? I said go to bed!
Clara: But has the date started yet?
Me: No! Hon, Dad left to go get food. Go to bed!
Clara: Ok!

I'm going to make a wild guess here and predict that is not the last time I see her tonight.

Update: Jack and I are now enjoying our dinner and Clara came out to ask if she could see our date. I let her come look and then told her she had to go to bed. She reminded me that I am missing a corsage and I told her that's not for at home dates.

Mine and Jack's Olive Garden at-home New Year's date night

12.30.20 - Kid snippets - Coffee-drinking ghost

Tonight Clara emerged from our room holding an empty cup of what had been a considerable amount of coffee Jack bought earlier at Panera. We asked her what happened to the coffee.

First she said that a bunch of bugs drank it. Then she said that it spilled on the floor and she cleaned it up with magic. Then she said the ghost from her dream came out of her dream and drank it all. Weirdly her breath smelled a lot like coffee.

I told her she was not in trouble for drinking the coffee, but she would be in trouble if she lied. She ended up telling Jack that she did drink it. It's not at all clear to me that she understands the issues here but I guess it's a start. Now to see if she will be awake all night.

12.29.20 - Kid snippets - Yes with no voices

Jack: Clara, can you go make the toothbrushes?
Clara: *silence
Me: Clara, when Dad tells you to do something you need to answer him.
Clara: I said "yes!"
Me: I didn't hear you say it
Clara: I just said "yes" with no voices!

12.28.20 - Joy status: Brio train track on sale

Brio train track pieces sell retail for about $2 a piece, but this morning I bought some off Facebook marketplace for about $0.33 a piece. #winning

12.27.20 - Joy status: mutes and turn off notifications

The mute function on Twitter and the "turn off notifications" function on Facebook. Who knows the countless hours of pointless bickering I've been spared.

12.26.20 - Kid snippets - Clara IS in charge

I'm making the girls sit at the table until they each eat one entire Brussels sprout. I have to keep telling them to keep their butts on their chairs. Just now Jane was standing in her chair.

Clara: Jane, SIT.
Jane: *glares
Me: Jane, you do need to sit.
Clara: Sit on your butt!
Me: Clara, that's enough. You're not in charge, babe.
Clara: I AM in charge.

Pic taken Dec 27, 2020 - Ready for a playdate

2020 Christmas at home

Clara was excited to carefully arrange the Christmas cookies, carrots, and glass of milk for Santa. She had even picked out a specific spot on the kitchen table where the plate should go. 

When I put the kids to bed, after I told them I loved them I said "Merry Christmas Eve!" thereafter for the half a dozen times or so I had to go back in there each time I left Clara would say it to me again.

Around 9:30 she got up to use the bathroom and I had to walk her through washing her hands and going back to bed. As she was leaving the bathroom she poked her head in the living room very quickly, and of course it looked exactly as it did an hour or so ago when we put them to bed. She complained that Santa hadn't come yet. I pointed out that she hasn't even gone to sleep yet. We have told her many times that Santa won't come if she's awake. She asked if he would come very very quickly as soon as she fell asleep. I think she thinks the moment she falls asleep, he will appear.

I set my alarm for 1am and Jack and I got up then to put out presents. It was fun playing Santa with him. I was actually pretty nervous that Clara would wake up and peek. We were careful to put out all the non-Santa presents first just in case. Then we tried to quickly stuff the stockings (I guess we've decided in this house that's a Santa thing), out out the Santa presents, and eat 80% of the milk and cookies (we just put the carrots back in the fridge). Not a creature stirred.

The next morning I waited impatiently for the girls to wake up. As usual Calvin woke up first, but I didn't want to just be hanging out with him in the living room when the girls got up. I wanted them to be the ones to "discover" that Santa had come. I brought Calvin into our room with Jack and me and he dozed some more. I lied awkwardly on the edge of the bed to give him room without letting him roll off of it and I tried to do things on my phone. Of course on this day the girls slept in more than usual.

Still, eventually I heard them get up, and they came into our room and Clara shouted "Mom and Dad, IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Then she looked down the hallway to the kitchen table and saw some milk and cookies still left, and I could tell for a moment she thought no one had eaten them. She had a little frown and said "Wait a second..." and walked toward them, but then she saw they were mostly gone and got really excited. Then she turned and saw the presents. It was magical.

I told the kids they could open one gift each and then we were going to get dressed in our Christmas outfits. I've really come around to how important ritual--including specific clothing--can be to making something feel special, plus I wanted to have a lot of cute photos. The girls were excited to put on their dresses and Clara asked that Jack not come in the nursery so she could surprise him with her beautiful dress. I told Clara she looked absolutely beautiful and she smiled and said "Yes. I do!"

They were also thrilled to take the last chain off the Christmas countdown chain and Clara jumped up and down when I said "It's finally Christmas!"

We went back out to open more gifts, and I enjoyed how they wanted to stop and play with each gift rather than tear through all of them at once. We paused present opening a few times to let them play, and it was nice to know we have nowhere else we have to be and can take all the time we want. They stopped for awhile to check out Clara's stencil set in particular.

At some point we called Grandma Wiseman to thank her for her gifts, and Clara was happy to take the phone and chat with Grandma about how we made cookies and left them for Santa and how he ate most of them, and about how when we woke up there were so many presents.

This year Jack and I separately took the girls to Dollar Tree to buy gifts for each parent, and it was so sweet to see how excited they were for us to open our gifts. They got me slippers, two coffe mugs that said mom, and some fake yellow flowers. Clara informed me I could use those the next time I marry Jack. They got Jack a calculator (which Jane thought was a phone), some pens, a magnetic notebook, and other items I was hoping he could actually use. 

When we had opened all the presents, Jack helped clean up and I made "Santa pancakes" which just involves using whipped cream and strawberries to make the pancakes look like Santa faces. Clara was very excited to watch. Calvin ate a lot of Jane's Santa pancake while she was in the bathroom, so I said I could help her make a new one. This time she wanted only the whipped cream, so her Santa had no hat or eyes or nose or mouth, just a beard. But she was happy with it.

One of the girls' stocking gifts was nail polish. I painted their nails and put a 5 minute time on to let them dry. But for Jane, even 20 minutes later she was still holding her hands carefully and hesitatingly touching things. She kept looking at her fingernails and admiring them, it was pretty cute.

I spent the rest of the day on and off helping the kids learn about their new gifts and cooking for a fancy dinner. I made cheesy "bread" (mostly chopped cauliflower), a cheesy sun dried tomato Brussels sprout bake, and cranberry bliss bars. At some point during all this, our neighbor Gana came by and offered us a bowl of potato salad to wish us Merry Christmas, which was so sweet especially since she doesn't really celebrate Christmas. Later I left her a tupperware container of cranberry bliss bars and a card in return.

While I was cooking I video chatted with Mom for awhile. She was at Julie and Denny's but took a break to talk to me about how our days were going. I propped the phone on the counter so I could cook while talking to her and it was a nice little visit.

Before dinner we Skyped with the Jacksons to do our virtual letter exchange. Don & Merlene outdid themselves this year by making every letter a rhyming poem. I also think it's sweet that they write individual letters to not only Jack and me but also each of our kids. Aaron and Katie's letter had a part about how much they appreciate my SPL work, which meant a lot to me.

Dinner was also great. Both Jack and Calvin seems to really enjoy it. Clara mostly just ate the Costco rotisserie chicken but that's okay. Jane seems to like everything except the Brussels sprouts. I was just proud to have put a whole dinner together, and a little exhausted. We also had just enough wine left for one glass, which Jack gave to me.

At the end of the evening all three kids got to try their ultra soft robes from Mimi and Gpa, and the girls got to check out their reading lamps Jama had gotten them. 

12.24.20 - Christmas Eve kid snippets

Clara: We need to get a kitty
Me: We are not getting a kitty
Clara: But Mom! People need kitties!

Clara made a small mistake on her drawing. She muttered in frustration "This is freaking embarrassing!"

Clara wanted to put more ornaments on the tree. We have a bunch but no hooks, so I told her we have to put string on them to hang them up. She was fine with it but then she wanted to be a puppy. She would not respond to me if I said "Clara"; I had to say "puppy." Also she was trying to manipulate the ornaments only with her mouth. So it became a more long-term project.

Earlier today Clara used the bathroom, and when I asked her whether she had washed her hands she said she had when I knew she hadn't. So she got in trouble for lying and there were some tears (hers, not mine). Just now she used the bathroom and I asked her whether she had washed her hands.
Clara: ...no
Me: Okay, go wash your hands.
Clara: Okay. AND I'm not lying!!

She has also recently been having a problem with yelling when she's angry. We are working on using her words better. But just now:
Clara (yelling): WHERE are the PENCILS?
Me: They're right here on the counter. What did we say about yelling?
Clara (calm): I'm not yelling. I'm just shouting.

Jack took the girls to get Christmas presents for me.
Clara: Can you tell me something Mommy likes?
Jack: Mommy likes…you.
Clara: Noooo! I don't want to be inside a present!

12.23.20 - Joy status: Calvin says "Mama"

Calvin has finally begun calling me "Mama." My heart swells

12.23.20 - Joy status: looking forward to Christmas day

Despite having to change all of our original plans, I'm happy and relieved to realize I'm really looking forward to Christmas Day.

In order to keep Christmas feeling special, we are still going to dress up the kids. Calvin doesn't care, but the girls are excited about their fancy Christmas dresses - Jane has a velvety green one, and Clara has a chiffon kind of red one. I'm sure I will get lots of pictures.

I also went ahead and planned a menu, which is saying something for me because I really basically never cook. For food ideas I asked what everyone was doing for Christmas dinner in a group for parents of kids with celiac, and I was very impressed and slightly intimidated by the many ideas people gave me. We are going to do Santa pancakes, which I learned are basically pancakes where you use strawberries and whipped cream to make a Santa hat and beard. For dinner I'm getting a Costco chicken (so delicious, so easy), and then I'm going to make a Brussels sprout cheese bake and a cauliflower parmesan "bread" with marinara dipping sauce. Also planning to make cranberry bliss bars for dessert--for some reason cranberries just seem very holiday appropriate. The girls, especially Clara, really like to "help" me cook, and prepping for an end-of-day meal will make the day feel more like an event.

On top of that we have never before done the thing where the kids wake up Christmas morning to a bunch of presents that weren't there the night before. I think they will flip.

It's going to be a good day.

12.21.20 - Kid snippets - Clara is sick of cleaning after Calvin

Clara is particularly good at organizing our shoe rack. That's a bit unfortunate for her, because Calvin knocks all of the shoes off of it more than once a day and we have her fix it. When she gets exasperated, I point out that I have to repeatedly clean up after her all the time. For some reason that doesn't satisfy her 5-year-old brain. So tonight she suggested that in order to stop Calvin's destruction, we build a tent around the shoe rack and lock the tent.

She also asked if we could go to the magic store to get a magic hat so that we can bring Frosty the Snowman to life and visit with him.

Dressing Jingle Bear up for winter.

12.20.20 - Joy status: video readings with Jane

Joy Inventory and kid snippets: every night that I've been out of town, I video chat with the kids before bed. And every night Jane very proudly shows me and reads to me If You Take a Mouse to the Movies. (She has the whole book memorized so she can "read" it to me.) Adorable.

12.18.20 - Joy status: COVID vaccine

I'm seeing a lot of posts in my newsfeed of friends who are healthcare workers getting the vaccine. Feels so hopeful!

12.16.20 - Taking the girls to get gifts for Jack

I thought it would be good practice for the kids to give gifts to Jack and me. I don't want to actually spend a lot of time or money on it though, lol. So today I took the girls to the Dollar Tree. 

It's only about 4 minutes from where we live, but they really enjoy when I mount my phone to the dashboard and let them watch our progress on Google maps. Clara kept asking if we were going to the Christmas store, And whether they had 100,000 or a million presents. I told her we were going to a store that had a lot of Christmas supplies though possibly not 100,000. 

When we got there they enjoyed looking at a lot of the Christmas stuff that's up front. I had to explain to them many times over that we were looking for gifts for their dad, not for them. Clara wanted to buy a gift for her teddy bear, Bobo. She was a lot more interested in that than finding a gift for Jack. I tried to avoid the toy aisle, because I knew they would get distracted with what they wanted. Jane noticed calculators in the office supply aisle (she thought they were phones), so she picked one of those out for Jack. I convinced Clara to pick a magnetic notepad and some nice pens and Jane also chose a headset.

Jane considered getting Jack a little doll set. She said he'd like it.

Then we went to the Christmas card section and they each picked out one for him. Clara's was one of the ones that's supposed to hold cash, although of course she doesn't know that. Jane's was one addressed to someone's son with love.

I brought cash just for the occasion, and I had each girl check out separately so they could each hand the dollars to the cashier. When Clara got her change she jumped up and down and giggled in excitement.  Jane did not notice as much, because she was more interested in all the example balloons on display beyond the cash registers. 

On the way home both girls talked a lot about The change Clara had, which they called monies.  Clara dropped a coin and said she had three monies and now she only has two monies. Jane reassured her that they would find it together. Jane is so sweet and attentive to Clara sometimes. Clara was excited to get home to put the coins in our coin jars in the kitchen.

When we got home we busted out some of the brand new Christmas wrapping paper I recently bought, as well as ribbons and to/from tags. Clara helped cut the wrapping paper, and she and Jane each chose the color ribbons for their respective gifts. They watched with great interest and anticipation each time I filled out a tag to Jack from one of them. Calvin participated by walking all over the wrapping paper and trying to take supplies from us the whole time we were using them. And also at one point he kept hitting the wrapping paper with a fork. But he tends to stay content if he feels like he gets to be involved. As we finished wrapping each gift, the daughter it was from would go put it under our Christmas tree.

Once we were done with all of it, I found a small box for Clara to put a stuffed monkey in to give as a gift to Bobo. I had tried to tell her that Bobo is a stuffed animal, and stuffed animals don't get gifts. She responded that Bobo is a person, and should have a gift. Then she referred to him as "person Bobo" as we discussed it. Anyway Jack helped her wrap the gift for Bobo.

Since then Jane and Clara but especially Jane have asked me multiple times when we are going to open the presents. We keep explaining it won't happen until Christmas, but that doesn't stop them from asking. Clara said it's taking a long time.

12.16.20 - Kid snippets - Clara's puzzle strength

The girls have been really enjoying this website (https://im-a-puzzle.com/) for online puzzles. Mostly they've chosen the easiest level (9 pieces) but suddenly today Clara declared she wants to try the "supreme" level (49 pieces). So we set it up for a cartoon elephant puzzle, and as soon as she saw all the pieces:

Clara: Oh no no no, it's too many!
Me: I think you can do it. Why don't you try?
Clara: Ok. I will do all these puzzles and see what the elephant looks like. I'm not going to be tired about this! I'm going to BE STRONG! *Strikes a pose and flexes her arms, to the extent a 5 year old girl can do that.

Most of the time Jane uses the bathroom she slams the toilet lid, despite me repeatedly telling her to be gentler/quieter. Just a bit ago she did it again.

Me: Honey, *don't slam the lid*!
Jane: But I swammed it care-foe-we!

Kids "help" me wrap their Dollar Tree Christmas gifts for Jack.

12.14.20 - Kid snippets - "How come you're not going to sleep?"

I put Clara to bed almost 2 hours ago and she has come out several times to go to the bathroom or other excuses. Just now I was sitting in our bedroom talking to Jack who I haven't seen all day. Clara quietly opened the nursery door just a crack, shut it, opened it again tentatively:

Clara, accusatory: Mom, Dad, how come you're not going to sleep?
Me: How come YOU'RE not going to sleep??
Clara: Because I just asked Dad to ask Mom if Mom is going to bed and then Dad is going to bed. And how come you're not going to bed?!
Me: Because we're grown up so we can go to bed whenever we want, and you're a kid and you need to go to bed *right now.*
Clara, giggles: oh ok!

Allegedly she is in bed right now.

Photo taken Dec 16, 2020 - Photo taken by Jane

12.13.20 - At-home Polar Express

 Yesterday the Jackson cousins were going to have a polar Express party at Donna Marlene's. We were originally going to skip it. Then they asked us if we wanted to video chat with them live. I considered saying no because I didn't want my kids to see a party going on that they couldn't go to. But then I decided we could just have our own party and enjoy it with them long distance. 

So I brought home some large boxes from work, and yesterday the girls and I spent between four and five hours turning those boxes into our own miniature polar Express for them to sit in while watching the movie. in retrospect the process of making the train was probably as much if not more fun for them as the actual watch party. Clara in particular had a lot of input and was excited to add glue to construction paper. They both were excited to press the construction paper onto the box. I also sketched out the words "The polar Express" in fancy lettering and then Clara traced over it with a purple crayon. It was a long but pretty fun project and I was really happy with the result.

The train was done a few hours before the movie, and the kids got to play with it plenty. Clara put a cap on jingle Bear and have him sit in the engine and be the engineer. She also wrote hers and her siblings names on each of their respective train cars. 

We dressed the kids and ourselves in St Louis blues pajamas as an homage to last year's polar Express. We gave the kids bowls of zebra popcorn and Jack made them hot chocolate. We let the girls drink theirs out of the polar Express mugs with straws. Then we video chatted with the Jacksons for probably 10 or 15 minutes and it was pretty adorable. The cousins took turns showing each other their polar Express setups. Marlene had made a train of boxes also for because the cousins to sit in. The girls were excited to show our train and our little people Nativity set and our mugs. The cousins washed it all with appropriate interest and showed their treasures too. 

When it was time to watch the movie we turned off all the lights except for the Christmas lights. I gave the kids blankets to have in their respective train cars. Of course Calvin didn't last long before he tipped right out of his, and eventually Jane was too nervous with the creepy parts of the movie and wanted to sit with Jack and me on the couch. But Clara stayed in her caboose the entire time.

I think the best moment was right before the movie was starting and Clara could not contain her excitement. She kept saying she was so excited and stimming and even holding her breath a little bit. That alone might have made it worth it to me.

And as a bonus I even was able to write a lot of my Christmas cards while they were watching the movie. 

12.13.20 - Kid snippets - little liars

Yesterday I removed a plush blanket from Clara's bed for whatever reason, and then last night when she saw it was gone, she told me Jane had climbed up to her bed and stolen it.

This morning I wouldn't let Calvin play with my paper cutter so he started fussing. Jane told me he was crying because Clara hit him. Clara is still asleep right now.

Calvin hasn't lied about anyone yet, but then again he still isn't really talking. Give him time.

Ready for Cookie Day

12.11.20 - Stocking glitter and Holiday Lights

Today was unexpectedly pleasant. It's just a random Friday, but we had a lot of nice little Christmas moments.

First of all, Don and Merlene sent us a Little People nativity set. The kids had a lot of fun playing with it today. The best part was how Clara and Jane play together and acted out stories with each other using the figurines. 

While Calvin was napping, the girls and I added glitter names to all of our stockings. It was a relaxing project for me since I didn't have to manage Calvin at the same time, and the girls seems to find it all pretty magical since of involved glitter. Clara said it looks like fairy dust. Jane whispered more than once that "it's beautiful."

When we were done with that, Clara wanted to write a letter to Santa. Not long prior she had been telling Jack and me about how Santa was going to bring her a Peppa pig doll. So as she dictated a letter to me for Santa, I kept trying to get her to tell him what she wants for Christmas. But she just didn't want to because she was more interested in telling him what we've been doing around the house to prepare for Christmas, such as adding names to the stockings. After I wrote out her thoughts, she signed herself and added some Christmas doodles at the bottom. She also was excited to put a stamp on the envelope. 

Then tonight we took all three kids for a drive-thru Christmas light experience. It's the first year they've done this, and I imagine it was partly in response to the pandemic. No one had to leave their cars to experience it. Jack found some caramel chocolate popcorn on sale at Costco, so we brought that and drinks with us and slowly drove through all of the different displays. At one point about two thirds in was a live Santa to wave to everyone. Clara really love that. Both the girls seemed to really enjoy all of the lights. Jack and I enjoyed seeing which corporate sponsors designed which displays. For example one display was a reindeer driving a monster truck trying to run over a grandma in a walker. The sponsor was a senior assisted living home, lol. The organizers have volunteers give out candy canes for all the children in the cars, and they also broadcast Christmas music on an FM station for everybody. It was a really pleasant little outing.

12.11.20 - Kid snippets - Clara's diplomacy skills

Don & Merlene sent us a Little People nativity set and all the kids are excited to play with it. Clara got it all set up but Calvin kept trying to take pieces off the table. Clara would yell at him, and then I'd remind her she has to share and to give him some pieces, which she did--very begrudgingly.

At one point when Clara wasn't watching, Calvin scattered several pieces across the living room. Clara commanded Jane to retrieve each piece, and Jane was content to be part of the action. But once they had the whole set together again:

Clara: Okay, Jane, you can go play something else if you want.
Jane: But I want to play with you.
Me: *glares at Clara*
Clara: ...Oh sure...but if you *want* to play something else...just let me know!
Jane: Okay!
Clara: How about if I play with this and you watch me?
Jane: Okay!

Clara's diplomacy skills are slowly improving.

12.9.20 - Joy status: SERI Christmas luncheon

I was sick last week and my lab rescheduled our Christmas luncheon just so I could be here for it. We had it today, and first did Secret Santa. It was pretty cool seeing what everyone got each other and watching people try to guess who thought of each gift. Whoever had our boss bought him the world's tiniest violin so he could hand it to people when they complain to him, lol. We also ordered Italian food to be catered to the lab. We didn't actually all sit and eat together because of our covid protocols but I did get to work on a puzzle in our newly finished "meditation room" while enjoying eggplant parmesan, and it was very relaxing.

12.7.20 - Kid snippets - trying to make Christmas cards

I'm trying to help the girls write some Christmas cards. Clara keeps saying we are going to "envelope them" (mail them) to people. Jane has spent all her time so far discussing who she will send cards to, but refuses to actually open a card and draw anything in it. Calvin is banished to the nursery, where Jack is trying to distract him so he stops pulling art supplies off the table.

So far we have completed one card.

12.1.20 - Kid snippets - Clara monitors teeth brushing

Calvin is trying to eat Cheerios out of a baby bowl using a full-sized spatula.

The last few nights Clara has made the whole family's toothbrushes for them. This morning she went in the bathroom and found Jack's toothbrush still sitting there with toothpaste on it. She ran to me in the living room and said "Ughhhh! Mom! Dad is not brushing his teeth AT NIGHT!"

Photo from Nov 28, 2020 - Clara shows off her ABC tower