Clara seemed like she wasn't feeling well several times yesterday - GI problems maybe. Then last night not long before bed time she started holding her tummy and crying. We think she was having bad cramps or gas or something, although it would help if she could talk to tell us. Obviously this situation is not a joy, but I'm writing about it in my joy inventory because it gave me a chance to bond with her, something that has been rare the last two weeks since Jane was born (and basically constantly wants to eat).
I'm glad Dad was around because (1) he was able to hold Jane so I could take Clara and (2) he suggested Clara lay on her stomach, saying that position made him feel better if he had bad GI problems. I can't verbally explain this to Clara, but she was more than happy to run into my arms and cuddle, so after carrying her around for awhile I went into the nursery and laid down on her bed on my back, meaning she was lying on me on her stomach. That did seem to calm her down. She stopped crying and just laid there quietly and I rubbed her back and shoulders and told her it would be okay over and over.
Clara napping 5/24, taken right after we found out she has celiac.
Jane fell asleep and Dad put her in the crib and headed back to the hotel. I changed Clara to a night time diaper while she was still in bed (even just turning her on her back to change her made her cry, so I just went as quickly as possible and flipped her back over). Then for 20 or 30 minutes Clara quietly laid either on me or next to me and I rubbed her back and sang to her. Eventually Jack came in and put a water bottle in her bed and turned off the light, and she and I just laid staring at each other in the dark. I sang her "I am Moana," "Rainbow Connection," "You Don't Know Me," and "The Way You Look Tonight," and she mostly just stared at me with her little round face and her big round eyes. When I sang "I am Moana" she very softly sang along at the end.
There needs to be a word for when your heart is breaking but because you're happy, not sad. That's how I felt because I love her so much.
I like to think of it as your heart is turning into "super heart", like when you get the star in Mario Kart.
ReplyDeleteI had that feeling last night when Malcolm sang along with me to "Big Rock Candy Mountain" from O Brother, Where Art Though?