7.6.15 - MO Summer Trip

Jack, Clara, and I went back to MO for a quick few days to see everyone, and to let everyone meet Clara. The trip was chaotic because it was too short and we were trying to get visits in with everyone. Still, it was also fun. In no particular order, my joys from the trip:

• Clara did well on both flights to MO, sleeping a lot and not fussing much.
• Mom picked us up from the airport and she brought Neil with her, and she thoughtfully packed us a bunch of food to eat on the ride home.

Early in the morning, getting ready to fly out.

• Zoey was very interested in Clara and treated Clara very sweetly.

Zoey and Clara.

• I got to see Julie's new house and she gave us a tour. Also got to enjoy sibling time at the house and a bunch of junk food Mom bought.
• Jack and I stayed with his parents, and Merlene made us many delicious meals, including tortellini, taco salad, blueberry muffins for breakfast, etc.j
• Don and Merlene's living room couches are so comfy. I'd almost rather sleep on those than in a bed.
• I found time to go to Picasso's with Julie, and we got to sit in the decorative chairs just like old times.

• We had time to see Grandma and Grandpa for a few hours, at their house, which is nostalgic to me. Also Grandma made cherry pineapple dump cake, and it was amazing.

4 generations!

• We found time to visit Mom every day we were there, so she got some good cuddle time in with Clara.
• The weather was relatively cool and even rainy, which is so great for us from dry, dry California.
• Clara got to meet her cousin Naomi, and Jack and I joked with Aaron and Katie about Clara and Naomi being rivals. It was hilarious.
• Dave got to meet Clara and seemed to like her.

• Merlene introduced me to The Big Bang Theory and it actually was pretty funny.
• We had great weather for Sugar Creek winery and I got a nice buzz going.
• I took a break at Sugar Creek to go the car and pump, and while there I had a good PM convo with an old FB friend who is having a hard time. It made me grateful for technology all over again.
• Being a new parent gives me so much to talk about with other new parents. I had a lot of great visiting with Missy, and with Katie too.
• I got to talk one-on-one with my father-in-law more than I think I ever have before when he and I happened to both be awake early.
• Clara got used to sleeping in a pack and play in Don and Merlene's office, despite a rough first night.
• Don and Merlene got a lot of good visiting and cuddle time in with Clara.
• Jack had time to play Resistance with his and my brothers.
• He also had time to visit with some of his very old friends, including Ian and Chris.
• Jack's family managed to drive up from southern IL to meet Clara.

• That includes Clara meeting her namesake, Jack's paternal grandmother.
• Don and Merlene got some amazing photos of Clara and Naomi together. Some of the photos look downright professional.
• I got to see Eddie and Elisabeth briefly, and we laughed a lot playing 5 Crowns.
• Clara finally rolled onto her back, and though I wasn't in the room when it happened, apparently everyone cheered as if it were a sports event.

Familiarity

6.30.15 - Air conditioning

Today, it was like this:

Which made me realize I need to add this:

6.27.15 - Happy little girl

Right now I'm sitting in bed and Clara is lying on a baby blanket on the floor, and she's happily cooing to herself incessantly. It sounds like she's talking to herself and that she's pretty excited about something. It is absolutely adorable.

I also love how, if I cross her line of sight, she breaks into a huge grin like she's so happy to see me--even if I was just there 3 minutes ago, haha. She does the same with Jack when he first gets home from work: as soon as she seems him she starts grinning hugely. What a happy little girl.

I don't hate every GoT character.

6.20.15 - Birthday picnic!

Today was the day for the real celebration of my 30th birthday. I invited a bunch of friends to join me for a wine and dessert potluck picnic in the park, and I was really looking forward to it.

Unfortunately, the day got off to a rocky start. I got up with Clara for her early morning feeding, and after she ate and I changed her, I started to feel kind of dizzy. I put her in her crib and thought, "Maybe after a couple more hours of sleep I'll feel fine."

But a couple hours later (when Clara woke up again), I was even dizzier than before. In fact I couldn't walk without stumbling and I felt like I was going to be sick. However, I'm including this non-joyous incident in my joy inventory because of how it got resolved. (1) I called Jack and he was able to come home from work immediately to take care of Clara, which was a huge relief. (2) I called Mom and she sent me a link to a video showing different positions I can try to get rid of the vertigo. (3) The positions worked! That was a huge relief. And (4) it was interesting to learn the physical reasons behind the vertigo and its resolution (basically a calcium crystal breaks loose and moves to the liquid in the ear that normally tells you when you're moving your head; as the crystal moves through the liquid it makes you feel as if you're head is moving when it's not; trying the different positions helps you move the crystal back out of that part of the ear.)

Anyway, I was so so relieved to not feel sick anymore, and even more relieved that I wouldn't have to cancel my birthday picnic. So in that sense it was a good start to the day.

The weather had originally called for a high of a whopping 103, but luckily it only got up to the low 90s, even less in the shade where we set up. It was actually pretty nice out.

There was a ton of delicious food: bruschetta (Bryon and Ellen), Nutella rice krispies (Erin), pies (Janice), black bottomed cupcakes (me), a chocolate covered cheesecake (Gennilyn), apricot with gorgonzola and walnuts and honey (Shane and Max), ribs (Sarah), tons of fruit salad (with pineapple!) (Rachel and Ben), and chips and salsa (Shannon and Mike).

Leonard and Choque beg for ribs.
(There were about 6 dogs at our picnic.)

There was also plenty of wine, and I enjoyed some Moscato and some rose and got a nice buzz.

We brought stuff to play Tichu...

Jack and Clara's matching Tichu outfits say
"Don't Break The Rule" on the back.

wall ball...

Clara's first wall ball experience.

and the Paper Game (or "Index Card Game," in this case).

Reading Paper Game results. Jack falls off the slack line in the background.

Shannon also brought a slack line, which she, Jack, Shane, Max, Henry, and Ben especially liked playing with.

Jack, Shannon, Rachel, and Mike played a few games of wall ball, including one game to the word "Molly," which Jack won. However he lost on super game point to Shannon for the game to "#badknees."

I didn't do anything very physical, but I really enjoyed playing the Paper Game and eating so many delicious things and visiting with everyone, especially Ellen, who I wish was not moving far away. And almost everyone took a turn cuddling Clara, who still doesn't mind who is holding her one way or the other. It would be great if that lasted.

Shane and Max got some baby cuddles too, I just didn't get pics of it.

Our picnic was near a playground, so Clara got to experience swings for the first time ever. Look at her overjoyed face:

And, despite the potluck food and wine, some people also brought me gifts. Ellen delivered a prettily wrapped gift from all the siblings and Mom: a 2Tb external hard drive (and a Starbucks gift card). Gennilyn got me some gift cards and baby wipes, haha. Erin got me a gift card and some baby-themed scrapbooking stuff, which was really cute. Sarah got me a gift card too. And they all wrote really nice notes in the cards they got me, which I love. I'm not very interested in store bought cards that just have someone's signature or "Happy Birthday!" in them. But these cards had longer, thoughtful messages. Ellen delivered Mom's card and I read it aloud and Erin said it was going to make her cry. Mom talked about how the overwhelming feeling of love I have for Clara is how Mom has felt about me since Day 1. <3 It was all very touching and sweet.

After the picnic, Henry and Sarah came back to our apartment and played Tichu for awhile--Sarah and Jack won. Sarah had to head back, but Henry stayed and he and Jack and I talked at length about the recent Game of Thrones finale (Season 5) and everyone we love or love to hate. That was really fun too.

Overall it was a great day. I'm continually touched by how many friends I have and how generous they are and how loved they make me feel.

6.17.15 - Birthday Wishes

Every year one of my favorite parts of my birthday is seeing all the well wishes I get on my FB profile. I particularly look forward to the more personalized or funny greetings. Here are a few from this year:

This year I also thought of a new tradition: I asked everyone, as a birthday gift to me, to list three things making them happy today. It turned out great! It was really enjoyable reading about all the good things happening in people's lives. Here are only maybe half of the responses I got:

And finally, here is my own list of how well the day went:

6.15.15 - Sense8

6.13.15 - Andrew's visit

Today my old friend Andrew came over for lunch. I haven't seen him since January at my CA baby shower, and before that I don't even know when's the last time I saw him. But I love it when you see a friend for the first time in so long and you pick up right where you left off. The same familiarity, no awkward silences or missed beats.

He was kind enough both to buy lunch (Buca di Beppo) and to bring two bottles of wine for my upcoming birthday party, which he'll sadly have to miss. Jack was home on lunch break when Andrew got here so they got to see each other briefly. Then Andrew and I talked (okay, mostly I talked and he listened and laughed) for probably two hours or so, and it was great. One of the things I love about Andrew is how easily he laughs. He makes me feel hilarious!

It was so nice to catch up with an old friend. Hopefully he starts coming through this area more often.

6.8.15 - June Colorado visit

Clara and I went to visit Dad, Jill, and the kids for a weekend. I was nervous about traveling alone with Clara but overall it was fine. On the flight out she slept through check-in and security, woke up long enough to eat a bunch and get changed, then slept from takeoff until baggage claim! I couldn't have asked for more.

Jill picked us up and I enjoyed a visit with her on the ride back to Dad's house. Then Sola and Harrison finally got to meet Clara. Sola in particular was delighted, and I told her she could kiss Clara's cheeks as often as she liked as long as Clara didn't fuss about it. She took full advantage of that, haha.

The trip was short but sweet. It was nice for the grandparents (and Sola) to get to enjoy taking care of Clara. It's also always nice the kind of food they have at Dad's: skinny cow ice creams and full fat fruity yogurts and goldfish crackers and pistachios and all sorts of things I love.

My favorite part of the trip were the times when we would sit on the front porch for hours visiting. Their neighborhood is beautiful in the summer: so many huge green trees all along the street and so many houses with picket fences. The adults would sit and sip drinks and eat snacks and watch the kids play with bikes and dogs and the fountain and so on. We (the adults) would also take turns holding Clara and letting her sleep on us, and she seemed quite content with all of it.

Even this afternoon before I left for the airport, Dad and I sat on the porch swing chatting while Clara dozed and the other kids played with water guns and the fountain. It was so pleasant.

On the trip back I had probably half a dozen strangers remark at what a good baby Clara is. Those remarks make me feel so lucky, because I feel like it's just Clara's personality, more than training from Jack or me.

And then Jack was waiting for us at the airport when we got back. He couldn't wait to hold Clara and talk to her again. <3 So lucky to have him as husband and dad. He's in the other room right now just hanging out with her while she coos.

Dance compilations

So fun and inspiring. :)

(If this link ever breaks, it's "Tanlines - All of Me: TV show dance compilation")

5.22.15 - Goodbye Stranger, It's Been Nice!

Tonight I listened to a CD I'd made over Christmas break in 2007. I don't know when I listened to the CD last, but it's been years. It played in the background while I sat on the couch feeding Clara for a good 20 or 30 minutes, and I reminisced on that time period. I was still at City College. I still had time to visit MO for nearly a month over Christmas. My friends, like me, were in their early twenties and, for the most part, weren't married, weren't done with school, didn't have kids either. We stayed up very late visiting, usually hanging out in the basement of Mom's old house.

For awhile I thought about those memories and what that phase felt like, and then I realized it won't be long before that time was a full decade ago. Stunning. I know life speeds up as we age--it's been doing that my whole life, just like everyone else's. Still, it's amazing to have such clear memories of certain times and then realize how long ago they were already, and they're only going to keep stretching away.

And that made me think about how soon it'll be a decade from now. Clara will be 10 years old, in 5th grade or so. And I'll find some other calm moment, and listen to some music I associate with this year (2015) and think about how she was just a tiny little baby I could hold in my arms, who would grab my fingers to pull toward her mouth or would fall asleep on my shoulder. I spend a lot of my days home alone with Clara doing the same things each day. But I already know that for the rest of my life I'm going to look back nostalgically on the phase when my babies *were* babies, and that thought helps me really enjoy (nearly) every moment now.

5.21.15 - Milestones everywhere!

Today was an especially pleasant one to spend at home with Clara.

Jack worked 7a - 4p. Clara was up around 6am and he took her at first, then I took over as he got ready for work. She went back to sleep around 7am and didn't really get back up until 10:30am, so I got to sleep in too, which is nice. Even after that she ate and I changed her and then she slept another couple hours, giving me time to do plenty of other things. I made a huge bowl of pasta salad and cleaned the kitchen. I did a little bit of paid work for the professor I work for. I got to pump in peace without her getting bored or fussy. It was really nice.

When she did finally get up she kept lifting her hips in the air and twisting to and fro, something we've noticed the last couple days. Jack mentioned earlier that it might be her attempt to start rolling over. Sure enough, only 10 minutes after I sent a picture of her hip twists to the grandparents, she rolled to her side and back! I was clearly more excited about this than she was, as she barely even reacted and just kept gumming her fists, but still, it was awesome. I quickly got the video camera and was lucky enough to capture her doing it a second time so that I could show Jack later when he got home. :)

So exciting!

She also started to take more swings at the little jungle animals hanging off her play set. At the beginning of the day it looked as if she was doing this almost accidentally, but by the end of this evening it was decidedly purposeful, which is pretty awesome. It's amazing watching her explore and learn already. One of the baby books I read while I was pregnant described babies as "little scientists" who experiment with everything as they figure things out, and that's exactly how I like to think of Clara.

Also, sometime today the FB page A Mighty Girl posted a link to their top 100 book picks for mighty girls. I got some time to peruse that link, and from there other links on Amazon and Goodreads, and I ended up picking out a bunch of books I would like to read to Clara as she gets older. I'm really excited about some of them, especially one called "You Are Stardust." One of the parents who reviewed it included some pictures of the illustrations, and it looks really beautiful. Can't wait to save a little extra to buy it for Clara. :)

Picking out all those books got me excited about reading to her, so we spread out on the living room floor and I read her "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" and "I'm Not Going To Get Up Today," both childhood favorites of mine. Obviously she can't understand any of the words yet, but she sat quietly and looked at the pictures the whole time for both books, which I think is impressive for one so little. I hope I'm already instilling a love of reading in her. I'm definitely instilling a love of reading to her, for me. Haha.

I feel very lucky to get to be home with her and watch her grow like this, and very lucky that Jack works so close by and can see her on meal breaks and doesn't take long to get home after work. Such a great phase in our lives.

5.18.15 - Supportive husband

Today Jack came home during his meal break, as he nearly always does, to watch Clara while I pumped. While he was home he also told me he really appreciates how he can go to work and know that I am taking care of Clara and our apartment and keeping things running at home. He also said he appreciates how much time it takes me to pump so we can feed her exclusively breast milk. It means a lot to me that he tells me he notices and appreciates it. It reassures me that we're partners, and equals, even though he brings in nearly all the money right now. What a sweet guy.

Taken two nights ago: goofing with Clara.

"Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?"

Archer is a surprisingly funny show.

5.10.15 - First Mother's Day

Today was my first Mother's Day, and that fact alone kinda tickled me. Jack had mentioned a few days ago that he was a little anxious about making it special for me. I thought it was sweet that (a) he cared enough to be anxious and (b) that he told me. I told him that I really just want some kind of acknowledgement, doesn't have to be anything elaborate.

He had to work 7a - 4p. But it was still a really nice day. Clara slept in until almost noon, so I got to sleep until I naturally wanted to wake, which was maybe the best gift anyone could give me. Good job, 2-month-old daughter.

"Love you, Mom! Zzzzzzz"

I hung out with her all day and her cute self. 

Getting ready to read "But No Elephants!"

I got a card and Starbucks gift card from Don & Merlene (very sweet). I also Skyped with them and the rest of the family for awhile. Clara fell asleep in my arms, which was hilarious. And friends of mine texted and FB messaged me all day wishing me a happy first Mother's Day. :)

When Jack got home we went to Starbucks for their last day of frappuccino happy hour. It was Clara's first time in a Starbucks, yayyy. 

Behold, Clara - you're 2nd home!

We then went to the park and sat and watched all the people there for Mother's Day picnics. There were a bunch of young boys playing soccer, including a boy so little the soccer ball went up to his knees. He was awful but he didn't seem to care. There was also a family just a few yards away from us. The dad was wrestling around with his 5-ish year old son, who was laughing hysterically. The son would hide behind his mom and then the dad would "wrestle" the mom to the ground and all three of them were laughing. It was ridiculously adorable.

After we got home, Clara cuddled and slept on me while Jack went to get groceries for dinner. 

She woke up before he got home and I took her on a walk around the apartment complex. The sun had just set so it was still light out but no direct sunlight making her lurch away like she does. She stared and stared at the trees in the breeze, at the sky, at some flowers in the parking lot. She was almost entirely silent the whole time except for a satisfied little sigh she gave now and then. It was really sweet. At one point some neighbors were heading back to their apartment from picking up some food; they had a boy who looked to be about 3 who was fascinated with Clara and kept walking toward her. Eventually he turned around and waved goodbye as he headed back to his mom. It was really cute.

Jack came home and we Skyped again with Don and Merlene while Jack made dinner. Then Clara kindly fell asleep in her swing while Jack and I enjoyed chicken tortellini and garlic bread and Moscato. It's the first time I've felt buzzed since last spring. I think it's really sweet that Jack put so much effort in. He makes me feel very loved.

Overall, great first Mother's Day!

Clara smiles